and I also seriously considered it for myself so I have certainly given the choices some close scrutiny. Which ever way you decide to go do not lose sight of the goal which is to become a parent. Both paths (DE and adoption) will get you there!!! I was in different circumstances that you are so my reasons for considering DE are likely not relevant (have a genetic connection as we would use DH's sperm and share the experience of pregnancy with DH). However.. I also thought about if I would feel that the baby was 'mine' with DE and I asked my doctor about this. It is my understanding and also the experience of others who I now know and who have done DE that the bonding with your baby will take place even before birth and when the baby is born there is no doubt that it will feel like your baby because, let's face it, it IS YOUR baby!!! I don't know of anyone who has done DE who does not feel a connection with their child. I think one of the advantages of DE is that you are guaranteed to have the baby from birth. I think adoption can take some time and you don't always get a newborn.