Please help me - Pat and everyone (m/c ment.)

I have just had my final donor egg treatment and am completely devastated to find that my clinic in Spain have seriously mucked up my cycle and it has resulted in a BFN.

I have had 3 ivfs with my own eggs all at age 44 and I got pregnant on all but miscarried. I then did donor egg and miscarried. I have since been diagnosed with blood clotting issues and auto immune issues and was on appropriate meds for this cycle.

Here is the problem. I had 2 frozen blastocysts (day 5 embies) on ice, so I was started on Progesterone 6 days before transfer (this is ok for a 6 day old embie). Sadly, my embryos died on thaw and I was given donor embryos donated by the clinic. BUT these were day 3 embryos. My UK RE is horrified and so is my RE at Cornell as apparantly there is no chance of implantation if you replace 3 day embies into an endometrium that is prepared for day 6 embies. The window is critical and it just won't work.

I raised this with the Spanish clinic after the transfer but was told 'not to worry' and it didn't matter what day they started progesterone - but everyting I have been told says this is not true.

This was my last chance - I have no more money. My Dr. in the UK's words were 'they have ballsed up your last chance' - he is absolutely livid. Sadly, he will not go on record with this, but thinks I should write to the head of the clinic. But it is my word against theirs...

I cannot believe this is happening to me. I don't mean to sound silly, but I have had 100% implantation rate on my 4 ivfs (inluding 44.5 year old eggs which must have a lower chance than donor?).

I have spent two years by myself pursuing my dream (including travelling from the UK by myself to Cornell for a month and Spain twice for treatment) at at cost of more than $80,000 with nothing but four miscarriages and now this.

I really don't know how I can carry on. (But I know I will somehow - we all do somehow I know).

My mum has just been diagnosed with a degenerative brain condition and I know she may never see me have the baby I desperately want.

I know all of us have huge obstacles to overcome, and I am sorry I have not been a very consistent source of any support for this board. But I find I always turn to you in times of trouble because your support comforts me so much.

Daisy