Thought I'd respond to my own message and tell myself
September 28 2005, 11:13 AM
that I am strangely a bit nervous about it now that it seems very likely. I have wanted this ever since I had my ds at 42 for a number of reasons: a) I LOVE being a mom, b) I wanted ds to have a sibling closer in age (hence my login name) for companionship now and later in life (yeah, let's hope they get along, right?), c) my dh would really like another, and d) I LOVE being a mom.....
But I'm 45! I'll be 46 when this one is born!! What am I thinking???? Is it selfish? Is he/she going to be weirded out to have a 64yo parents at his/her highschool graduation? I am healthy and young-looking, but I am what I am and that ain't 20, what if my body refuses to keep up? Can I carry a pregnancy and deliver a baby without sending my whole system into shock? I did it at 42, that is true, but that was (or will be) 4 years ago and at this stage of life, 4 years is a lot of years!!
Don't get me wrong, if I am blessed with a BFP and am able to hold on to it, I will be ELATED!! But just a little bit scared, too.
I am usually testing 3 or 4 days BEFORE I'm late, dismantling the test, taking out the strip, standing on the counter and holding the strip up to the light bulb, jumping down, grabbing a magnifying glass, hunting for the nearest source of natural sunlight, and peering at the stupid thing for any trace of a line. Then, sighing, I put the thing in a drawer only to repeat the process 20 minutes later lest I missed something.
I am able to wait only because I do not have a test and haven't bought one yet. I go shopping tonight, so we'll see if I can actually wait until tomorrow morning.
Yes, it was (if it IS) "natural." I have been extremely lucky in that respect, although I have had 3 m/c since my ds at 42. Sometimes I wonder if it is a genetic thing -- my grandmother had my mom when she was in her forties, my maternal aunt had my cousin when she was in her forties, and I was most surprised to find myself pg when I was in my forties.
Whether I am pg or not, I know how lucky I am and how frustrating it must be to those of you who have been trying so hard for so long. Feel free to line your birdcages with the whining I posted about being nervous. I wish all of you the BFPs you are looking for!
This message has been edited by hopingforasib on Sep 28, 2005 12:10 PM
awesome!!! All of the women in my family on both my mom's side and my dad's side have had children well into their forties as well... so I am praying that this is the case for me too! I am looking at that little genetic fact as a plus. I had one m/c last july and am hopeful that it was my first and last. Keep us posted...this is sooo exciting!