I want to thank everyone again on this board for being so amazingly kind and supportive at a time when I thought I would have a nervous breakdown. Losing my exhusband was an excrutiatingly painful and tragic event in my life and I am still processing the whole thing. I have since found out that it was not an "active" suicide but that he had had many motorcycle accidents in the past 2 years that led to a couple of hospitilizations, which in turn led to his being hooked to pain killers and sleeping pills. (this was after he had been sober for 12 years) Also apparently he had hit his head and was never the same. I think he just took too much of a combo of things that just was too much for his body. Anyway, I don't need to say any more about it other than it really hit me hard and had me "wake up" in some ways.
I realize that we all have a finite time here and time is precious. I kind of feel like this has given me a kick in the pants and I needed it to evaluate certain things that are working for me and certain things that are not.
The bottom line is that I have decided to get myself as healthy as possible and move towards getting prg naturally with herbs, supplements and acupuncture. In line with this decision I finally saw an acupuncturist in NYC that was recommended by Randine Lewis. In the intitial consult, he spent 3 hours with me asking me many many questions. He was very thorough. He then gave me a diagnosis and i will be receiving my herbs in the mail tomorrow. i will start taking them for 30 days and then be re-evalutated after that. I will still stay on the program that my naturapath has me on as far as supplements like vitamins.
AFter having asked me all those questions, the acupuncturist seemed to believe that my miscarriages were not due to "old eggs". he suspects that I have miscarried 4 times because I might have overactive NK cells that may be attacking the fetus when I get prg. I know that all of this stuff is controversial and a lot of doctors think it is hogwash but before I get prg again I want to make sure that I cover all my bases, that is I need to do more extensive testing. The testing that I did after my last mc was minimal and from what I have found out, there are more advanced RE's or RI's (reproductive immunologists) who insist that really extensive testing be done after many miscarriages and that is the only way to really find out what your issues are. Dr. Beer is one of those people.
My next step is to do this extensive testing which will probably cost around $600 or maybe more, out of pocket because my insurance will not cover it. I have saved that much and am just looking for the best people to analyze the results. Maybe I will go with Dr. Beer, I am not sure yet. I am still in the process of gathering information on who is out there that I might consult with.
I am not giving up just yet in my GTC efforts. I truly believe in my heart that I will have a child with my own eggs and I just need to continue to follow my heart in this. I am not yet ready for DE (nor do I have the money for it).
I don't have the money for IVF either nor do I really want to go that route, unless I come upon a small fortune!!
Anyhow, I will let you know how I do with the acupuncture and the herbs. I am excited about it! I will get my herbs tomorrow!
much love to everyone,
5 dear angels (Last prg was at age 43 with twins)