Note this is one of the two original books for this book club so we did this a bit differently then... so here are the links to discussions that took place on that book.

Monica

Hi to everyone who has listed a thread about this book and the Geraldi family in general. I wanted to clear up a LOT of things considering I have known Camille, Mike and their children for over nine years now and can give you some accurate information. I dont know if anyone will read this considering I just floated onto this site today and these threads were posted almost a year ago, but we will see.
First off, I would like to clarify, THEY ARE A FAMILY. The majority of the children spoken of in the book are officially adopted by Camille and Mike. They live together, eat meals together, go on outings and celebrate holidays together and do other things that any family does. Camille and Michael are referred to as Mommy and Daddy by the children and are the MOST important people in their lives. They (and the children's innate will to live) are the reason the kids are alive in many cases. The children are loved, cared for, given individual attention and praise, etc. just like any other family.
Also, the reason the book focuses on babies and toddlers is because when the gross of it was written (back in 1993) the majority of the children were around four years old or younger. Therefore, there werent many older children around to write about. So, I have to contradict the idea that Camille only prefers babies and toddlers. That is a complete and blatent untruth. Camille loves every one of her children, young or old, and actually spends a great deal of time with the handicapped adults and teenagers that live in her care.
Next, I have to address the issue that Camille "ripped" children away from their birth parents. Considering all of the adoptions were open adoptions, and the majority of them were not finalized until the children were five years or older, this is ludicrous to assume. The birth parents are offered every opportunity to participate in every aspect of care for their child, and to take the baby back if they so desire. Camille and Mike have even reversed an adoption because the birth parents wished to take the baby back. I can say for a fact that in the case of many of the kids, their birth parents stay actively involved in their lives, despite their adoption status.
Also, the reason the kids mentioned in the book were "hard to place" adoptions is because Camille focused her interests on adopting children that had severe medical disorders in addition to DS or other disabilities. THerefore, because of their medical status (not the DS) they were difficult to place. The majority of our children have severe heart defects that require extensive years of surgery and follow up, including one 14 year old with a pacemaker and defibrillator who has had six open heart surgeries and a valve replacement to date. We also have children with extensive GI, respiratory and metabolic disorders that limit their placement. The reason Camille and Mike take in so many of these involved kids is because they have the educational background and training to adequately and safely care for them. Camille and Mike also care for a number of profoundly disabled DS children-kids with IQ's in the teens- that are self mutilating, have autistic tendencies, etc. and are virtually impossible to place elsewhere when considering the challenges posed as the children get older.
To address the "snorting" comments- if you listen to infants in congestive heart failure (DS or not) while they are eating or sleeping, they often make grunting or snorting noises. This is reflective more of the CHF than the DS, although in many babies with both DS and CHF, the grunting or snorting is more pronounced because many of the children have enlarged tongues.
So, the fact that the book made DS seem scarier than it actually is- if you are a parent lucky enough to have a completely healthy DS child, bless you. However, considering 40% of children with DS are born with heart defects and other medical disorders, there is a very real possibility that they will have some sort of disorder through life. Also, there are all kinds of systemic problems that can manifest as the child gets older. This book was focusing on THE GERALDI FAMILY not the DS population at large, and many of the Geraldi children are very medically fragile, and we have had our share of scares regarding their health.
Also I would like to say that not all children with DS are like Chris Burke either, I would say a slim majority, and offering only that picture of Downs to parents is also unfair.
Therefore, I would like to say that I love Camille Geraldi and her family as much as I love my own. They ARE my family. Her children are like my siblings, and I have been around to watch them grow from infants to exceptional children and adults.
So, please, before you get upset at this book, consider that it is not a generalization regarding Down syndrome but simply the story of an amazing and VERY LOVING family.
Thanks : )

I cannot remember if I commented on whether or not the Geraldi's were a family in the original threads. It may be true that the Geraldi's adopted each of the children. Legally they are a "family". I am sure they love the children, however, the family is managed more as an institution than a family. I do not doubt that some of these children are better off in the Geraldi's home.

It is hard to remember all of the details of the book, since it has been so long I read the it. (Fortunately,I borrowed it from the library and didn't waste any of my money on a book I really did not like at all.) I do however remember the young couple in the airport and I still believe they should have been offered further options. Camille did nothing to make the parents think that they could take care of this baby. (or if she did it was not evident from the book)

I am the one that made the comments about snorting and your comments do not convince me otherwise. Snorting is not a symptom of Down syndrome. I would also like to add that my son with Down syndrome was born with heart defects and had open heart surgery...he never snorted. So, since my son was not among the 60% of children with DS that are born without heart defects I can say that it hasn't always been a picnic...but parenting never is. (I have 7 children, only one has Down syndrome but no child is perfect-each one presents challenges.) I believe that the majority of people can parent a child with Down syndrome AND medical issues. All it takes is the proper support. Are there people that can't do it? Of course! There are people that can't parent typical children.

I personally try not to compare my child to Chris Burke or any other person with or without Down syndrome. Connor is an individual created by God. I am not about to say that I think he is the Down syndrome super star kid. He isn't. He is significantly delayed. So what? He is who he is and I love him anyway. I know that I do not offer a picture of Down syndrome that is unrealistic. However, painting it the other way is unfair and detrimental to the very lives of many unborn babies with Down syndrome and families that are never given a chance to see that they CAN do it!

This board may not appear active but it is linked to other boards that are. I am sure others have read your post as well.

May I ask how you found us? AND...what is your relationship to the Geraldi's? Do you work for them?

Karen
Rob's wife and mom of Becca(11), Erin(9), Rachel(8), Kaitlyn(6), Ryan(4), Connor (2 3/4 with DS) and Emma 13 months

I was going to try to reread the book again and see if it made a difference to how I felt about it. I got through the first 30 pages or so and then stopped. I just do not have any use for the way the situations are presented. Things like thyroid issues are presented as "major health issues". I know the heart issues can be bigger issues, but we have so many on our board who have lived through the surgery or surgeries that I have a hard time swallowing the way its presented here.

I stand most strongly behind my views on adoption and "ownership" of other humans (don't believe in it) and the need for children who are adopted to be able to hold on to their history and to feel good about their history.

I would write more but I've already written it. All in all, I think this book is very poorly put together and it appears to come off as trying to capitalize on these children. I have no doubt that these parents love them and that they are well cared for. I also think that my definition of family is much different. As a mother, I know when my child is having meals... I don't walk in on it and realize it in the middle of it. I wake up in the morning when my child gets up - someone else does not get up for me and go through the morning routine with him. I define family very different from what happens in this family.

Anyway... there is a load more that I could say but I just wanted to note that I still stand behind my thoughts and feelings in regards to the picture this book has presented.

Monica (mommy to FIVE year old Mikey!)
Check out Mikey's picture by clicking here!

You're laughing because I'm different... I'm laughing 'cause you're all the same!

Whoever said silence is golden has never heard the laughter of a child!

Hi Guys-
First off, if I offended anyone, I apologize- my previous thread was not intended to cause harm just to get some things off my chest- and you all are as entitled to your opinions on any issue as I am! Secondly, I wish to say that I agree that some areas of Camille's book do leave out pertinent facts, especially regarding the children's connections with their biological families and other issues. So, I agree that sometimes reading the book can give one a negative opinion of the Geraldi family. However, I stand by my knowledge of the facts regarding this family.
Also, Karen- I met the Geraldi family through the biological family of one of their adopted children, Christopher. Chris was born hydrocephalic and not expected to live long. His family needed support, and the Geraldis provided this. They stayed extremely active with Christopher's life throughout the five years he was alive, and I visited him with them on several occasions- this began my now 10-year association with the Geraldi family.
So, I know the ins and outs. As to how I found you- I was running a google search on DS websites and this one came up. I wanted to know what books ya'll had reviewed, and saw that Camille's was listed. So, I wanted to know your thoughts. Now I have them. Much luck with your son, Im sure he is a beautiful spectacular little boy. God bless you all-
Emily

Hi,

I read Camille's book a while ago. I happen to have loved it.
I am the mother of 7, 5 are adopted with special needs. I truely understood her from the get to. I am sorry for anyone that took it the wrong way. But like the bible everyone see things differently.

I take my hat off to Camille and Mike my GOD bless them with as many as they want.

I know what it is like day in and day out and it takes a specail Family to do what they do.

Bless all of you.

Joyce
Mother of Rebecca 22,Jonathan 18, Eric 12, Valerie 11, Sarah 10, Jasmine 3, (Kenny 2 with DS)

a href="http://www.possibledream.org/default.php

It appears from this that not all of the children that live with them are adopted but rather only 13 of them are... I'm trying to figure out how recent this link is. It has a copywrite 2003 on the bottom so it must be pretty new.

Monica

http://www.s-t.com/daily/01-97/01-25-97/b02li090.htm

Monica (mommy to FIVE year old Mikey!)
Check out Mikey's picture by clicking here!

You're laughing because I'm different... I'm laughing 'cause you're all the same!

Whoever said silence is golden has never heard the laughter of a child!