Never Say Diet
Never Say Diet
Weight loss message board, weightloss support forum, non-diet.
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Weighed in at goal again today and darn if the binge cravings aren't (m)
by (Login TigerRats)I am settling down now, calming myself, but I just hate the binge cravings!
Drinking coffee, trying to calm them, trying to stay focused for my busy day . . . I love that everything fits, I love being at goal weight, I love it I love it I love it . . . .
from IP address 71.177.2.135
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So very thrilled for you......(m)
by Maajida (Login Maajida2)from IP address 76.103.169.169
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Yikes, where is everyone??
by Maajida (Login Maajida2)from IP address 76.103.169.169
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Just been busy....................
by hollie (Login holliedu)My biggest struggle is with planning. I just don't plan my meals so that I end up skipping them or eating at terribly odd times. There has to be something going on in my head that I'm not catching. Does anyone else have this problem???
We have a Thanksgiving banquet that our church does and that's going to be a killer. We usually have TABLES of dessert! I try to keep busy so that I don't have time to eat but I can still do a lot of damage.
Hollie
from IP address 76.125.155.138
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If I don't plan, I always fail miserably. I have plans and backup plans! (m)
by (Login TigerRats)Today I brought veggies, a Smart Ones entree, and a chocolate Vitatop. I also have backup food -- 1 point yogurts, and 1 point puddings.
After work I have to fly out the door and get to my daughter's choir performance -- they're doing Guys & Dolls -- can't miss it -- so dinner will be put off until late late late and I will have a Gardenburger on WW bread if there's nothing in the house, and maybe frozen yogurt so I don't feel deprived.
I have plans, plans and backup plans. Only way I succeed!
Tigs
from IP address 162.119.238.162
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Hi Hollie, I am identifying with alot that you say....(m)
by Maajida (Login Maajida2)I too have a Thanksgiving banquet situation coming up that will be a challenge...staff luncheon at work next Thursday, a week before Thanksgiving, and the temptations will be huge, from all the desserts and the homemade entrees. Part of me just wants to forget my plan for the day and part of me is just so tired of all the backtracking that would be nec. if I did that. I know that the answer lies in balance, and that this 'black and white' perfectionist type of thinking does not serve me well....so I hope I can make peace that day and indulge a little so that it's not too depriving and yet not go so far off track that it harms my efforts.
Sorry to have been so long winded...your posting talked about things that really got me thinking. Take care, Love, maaj
from IP address 76.103.169.169
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"Don't let the perfect be the enemy of the good" and (m)
by (Login TigerRats)Going w-a-a-y off track is NOT worth it!
Tigs
from IP address 71.177.2.135
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Hi Maajida, thanks for asking
by JosannaJava (Login JosannaJava)I did that Emmaus 72 hr women's Christian retreat in mid October which led to joining a local weekly Wed prayer group, so enjoyed doing that in the afternoon. I am getting to better know the women in my church that I joined about a year and a half ago.
Work is insane, today I have to send my boss an email he won't like. But I agreed to start in depth weekly therapy focusing on Mom and childhood, and don't you know it is thursdays after work and Columbus, our state capital has decided "we" all need to meet there, and you guessed it, thursday afternoon. I can't be 90 minutes away when I need to be 10 minutes away from my therapist office. Me that so wants to please everyone, but my therapist only working 3 days and carving out 2 hrs to do this EMDR, well, that can't be moved, and 50 people from a variety of state agencies aren't go to move for my schedule.
Not much else is new. I weigh in monthly and have floated around the same 5# or so all year! But at least I am not doing major gaining. Still exercise daily, just did some tai chi and pilates as I fit my 5 days of cardio already in this week.
Haven't a clue on thanksigiing, I won't be seeing any of my birth relatives but whether it will just be hubby and I, or his brother too, time will tell. His kids are always with their mom, the ex-wife.
take care of yourself Maaj, love, Josie.
from IP address 24.210.130.148
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Heading off cravings over here with my 2 secret weapons (m)
by Tiger Rats (Login TigerRats)Oh -- and Vitatops! I eat a Vitatop almost every day. If I don't watch out, I can easily eat 5 a day . . . which is 500 cal, eek!
I also eat a heck of a lot of yogurt with Fiber One cereal (or another high fiber cereal; just discovered one that's Organic and yummy!), and those sugar free Jello Pudding cups -- lotsa yummy flavors like vanilla chocolate swirl, Boston Cream Pie, Dulce de Leche, the new mousse flavors, Rice Pudding, and Kozy Shak makes a 70 calorie tapioca that is wonderfully gummy and delightful!
I'm also roasting Zucchinni with onions and garlic, and indulging in the occasional pumpkin milkshake, yum!
My goal is to get in the gym 3x a week, and life is basically swirling around my ears with tons of deadlines I really don't know how I can meet.
Other than that I'm fine LOL!
Tigs
from IP address 162.119.238.162
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Tigs, try the one by Barbara's Bakery, Multi-Grain Crisps? Naturally sweet, (m)
by (Login JustDoItDeb)![[linked image]](http://i277.photobucket.com/albums/kk56/SkittleKittyPics/gifs%20and%20jpgs/CuteTigerKitty.gif)
![[linked image]](http://i277.photobucket.com/albums/kk56/SkittleKittyPics/gifs%20and%20jpgs/Pics%20of%20People/DebwTaylor-5thB-day-edt.jpg)
~My niece and I on her 5th birthday~
![[linked image]](http://i277.photobucket.com/albums/kk56/SkittleKittyPics/gifs%20and%20jpgs/NotEasyWorthIt.jpg)
AND WE ARE SO WORTH IT!
from IP address 70.168.79.54
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I'm here....
by (Premier Login awilson7)moderators
Taking little steps towards better health, including eating more veggies and wearing my 1 lb leg weights. It's astonishing how long I went without eating a vegetable. life is sort of too overwhelming for big changes.
I'm also trying to get over preconceived notions like "I will not date, I will not be attractive to another until I am thin." I'm certainly not perfect, I have weight to lose and issues to work on, but that doesn't make me less of a person. I certainly wouldn't let any of you get away with this warped mind frame. I also had to be reminded by a friend that if I met Jesus on the street he wouldn't say "Angela, you're fat, come follow me after you lose that 20 lbs." Certainly he has never said he will love me when...
Lots of love to us all, whether we have weight to lose or not!
Angel RN
Tommy 13 in July, gasp
Ozzie 11yo sweet boy
coffeewilson at hotmail dot com
from IP address 72.86.125.8
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Amen to that! Somebody say Amen! (nt)
by Tiger Rats (Login TigerRats)from IP address 162.119.238.162
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Amen!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
by Maajida (Login Maajida2)from IP address 76.103.169.169
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You get one from me too; that one hits home. I am the me He loves anytime & @all times! nt
by (Login JustDoItDeb)
~My niece and I on her 5th birthday~
AND WE ARE SO WORTH IT!
from IP address 70.168.79.54
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I just happen to be all the way across the U.S., in Rhode Island! (m) some OT
by Deb (Login JustDoItDeb)Of course the trip is playing havoc w/ the fibro. I missed the quartet contest finals last night. After doing my delegately duties we walked down to this burger place DFR found. After that, of course, I had to walk back to the hotel. I slept for about 14 hours yesterday afternoon and night! I'm very sore, but we did have a great time. My knee has been hurting for a while now, but with all the walking the trip has entailed, it is now swollen and stiff. Tried arnica on it, but not much help. I've also been trying to get a refill on my Darvocet and it's literally been over a month now! I do have other pain meds, but prefer Darvocet for when I'm going to be doing something, as it doesn't totally put me to sleep. I can't get a straight answer from anyone and am fed up w/ their BS!
My food hasn't been real bad, but I've been told to adjust my Lantus insulin and have gone low a couple of times, so then I have to eat. Haven't eaten the healthiest, hamburger, deep dish pizza, but have been having oatmeal for breakfast and looking to put (hide) veggies in my meals. Stuck spinach and sprouts into my burger and mushrooms and onions into the deep dish. Also watching my portions. They are looking to possibly put me on that new diabetic med that controls your hunger, if they can get it approved. I would love that, it is hard to tell yourself no when your stomach hurts w/ hunger.
Anyway, that's what's up with me. Thanks for asking, Maaj!
Hugs,
Deb
~My niece and I on her 5th birthday~
AND WE ARE SO WORTH IT!
from IP address 70.168.79.54
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Wow, thanks for checking in at such a busy time....(m)
by Maajida (Login Maajida2)from IP address 76.103.169.169
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Wow! How exciting and thrilling! I'm glad you're able to participate (m)
by Tiger Rats (Login TigerRats)About the Darvocet, some data came out 5 yrs or so ago and somebody did some studies that showed that Darvocet was no more effective than Tylenol and had more side effects. There has been a lot of backlash about somse of the "milder" narcotics and "sort of" narcotics recently and cough syrups with dextromethorphan have also been taking some heat because teenagers are abusing it.
The bottom line with Darvocet is that in the face of the scientific studies that were done, a lot of health plans are taking Darvocet off their formularies. It's a bummer for the people that Darvocet worked best for -- and there were plenty of them out there.
My own personal theory is that over a broad study group perhaps it is no more effective than Tylenol, but there are individuals for whom it IS more effective, and the study did not have the sensitivity to or was not designed to identify that particular group.
We are still able to make formulary exceptions occasionally for Darvocet and it has not been taken off the market, to my knowledge . . . yet.
I am thinking it may get taken off the market.
You are not the only person affected by this Darvocet issue, unfortunately.
You know how it is -- when you find a bra/style of underwear/color of lipstick/perfume you just love -- they always stop making it!
Tigs
from IP address 71.177.2.135
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todays eats were awful....
by (Premier Login awilson7)moderators
Angel RN
Tommy 13 in July, gasp
Ozzie 11yo sweet boy
coffeewilson at hotmail dot com
from IP address 72.86.125.8
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But tomorrow is another day and....
by Maaj (Login Maajida2)from IP address 76.103.169.169
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What I found when I was losing the weight the first time (m)
by Tiger Rats (Login TigerRats)The reality is that it's very hard to control calories in that stuff unless you use quantized amounts that are pre-measured, and a lot of those foods would be binge triggers for me anyway.
But what I'm trying to say is that once in a while you have to eat some utter junk.
I used to have this guilt around junk food and when I ate it, I'd make sure I then ate a nice nutritious meal. Bad idea. Just more calories, just made me fat.
Now if I eat something horriffic I just tell myself Oh well, that's just one thing I ate, I also eat lots of vegetables and fiber and lean protein and so forth, and then I go on about my life.
The other day I got home late and I had agave-sweetened spelt wafers with cream cheese for dinner. It was like just having dessert. I had EIGHT wafers with 4 Tablespoons of WW whipped cream cheese, for 6 points! It was WONDERFUL and just right that evening. I think I even had a Chocolate Vitatop (like a giant chocolate cookie) for one more point for dessert.
If you're eating badly because you're stressed, no appetite, tummy feeling queasy, that's another issue, but if you just have a whoops bad eating moment or day, it's no biggie.
Hugs, Angel. You don't have to be perfect to be really wonderful!
Tigs
from IP address 71.177.2.135
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How's everybody doing on Halloween? (m)
by Tiger Rats (Login TigerRats)I was mildly tempted by a Snickers bar (fun size) on the counter today, but not so far by the big bowl of candy. It's funny, the bowl I was prepared for, but the single bar left randomly on the counter was a spy that almost snuck up on me. I thought about eating it but was afraid of where that might lead.
Halloween I usually do pretty well at. Easter and Christmas are the Candy-laden holidays that always get to me. I don't know why; maybe it's the cute shapes of candies for those seasons.
Hope you all are getting through the candy barrage!
Tigs
from IP address 71.177.2.135
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Good for you Tigs..........
by JosannaJava (Login JosannaJava)Doing church and sunday school, then rest of day with hubby.
Work projects are piling up on top of the usual demands, so it is challenging. But grateful I still have a full time job. I just hit 26 years there, ultimate goal is 30 years to retire, but I could go out January 2011 at age 55 but less money. With the downsizing of my type of "hospital" and the sickly state budget, I have serious doubts reaching 30 years as a full time state employee. But that is when I remember to trust and have faith in God.
I hope all is doing well! love to all, Josie.
from IP address 24.210.130.148
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Glad you asked for a Halloween check-in.....(m)
by Maajida (Login Maajida2)Yes, I was tempted by Halloween candy, but managed to take only little tastes that I made part of my program. We were in LA from Wed. to Sat. and stayed on track with the exception of a planned splurge at this banquet for the awards ceremony where my dh received a special honor for his work. But I managed to stay on an even keel and as I said in a recent post, it really is beginning to sink in that this journey is about so much more than wt. loss. I was in heaven re the hotel we stayed at....huge 3 floor gym attached and I could take any classes I wanted and there was a two-story olympic size pool with a running track looking down on it from the upper level where a magnificent stained glass chandelier was hanging right over the pool.
But it's always good to get home, my fav place to be and I am trying to get organized for the week, and also spend some time today with dd and grandson. Hugs to you all.....here's to a happy and healthy week ahead. Love, Maaj
from IP address 76.103.169.169
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My mouth is watering about the hotel LOL & I'm so very proud of (m)
by Tiger Rats (Login TigerRats)I am trying to treat myself to my "safe" treats that I don't overeat, or if I overeat them, it's very controllable.
I am also focusing on the fact that I'm soldiering on with my weight journey depsite the other challenges in my life right now.
Whew!
Tigs
from IP address 71.177.2.135
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starting full time at the new job...
by (Premier Login awilson7)moderators
This is a really good thing, the old job is getting so stressful. It's a really negative environment and there are some bad things going on in which some may end up losing their licenses.
Angel RN
Tommy 13 in July, gasp
Ozzie 11yo sweet boy
coffeewilson at hotmail dot com
from IP address 72.86.125.8
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Angel: that is so fabulous on the FT job...........
by JosannaJava (Login JosannaJava)I hope you enjoy you can leave the toxic job soon.
hugs, Josie.
from IP address 24.210.130.148
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Warmest congratulations! Your life is moving in a positive (m)
by Tiger Rats (Login TigerRats)Wishing you tremendous success in your new job!
Tigs
from IP address 71.177.2.135
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Yay, Angel.......so glad for you and.....(m)
by Maajida (Login Maajida2)from IP address 76.103.169.169
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You might be interested........................
by hollie (Login holliedu)http://hennhouse.blogspot.com/
Later,
Hollie
from IP address 76.125.155.138
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Are you eating your angry feelings?
by Tiger Rats (Login TigerRats)Just checking, as I am reading about anger, and how it starts with our homes and how anger was handled in our homes, and how anger can be a habit . . . a bad habit.
Trying to get in touch with my angry feelings and figure out if they're necessary or just a bad habit.
Tigs
from IP address 162.119.64.118
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I think anger like fear should be a warning....
by (Premier Login awilson7)moderators
Course this is what I KNOW. Do I still live in anger towards someone? yep.
Angel RN
Tommy 13 in July, gasp
Ozzie 11yo sweet boy
coffeewilson at hotmail dot com
from IP address 72.86.125.8
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But...............................
by Maajida (Login Maajida2)from IP address 76.103.169.169
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Good points, Tigs, Angel and Maaj
by JosannaJava (Login JosannaJava)Monday morning the culprit was my middle sister, so am avoiding her as she needs Alanon and therapy way more than I ever have, and I can't fix her myself.
I did get my HI vaccine yesterday, finally went to the local health dept that was giving it to health care workers. I wish my hubby could get one next.
have a good day ladies, love, Josie.
from IP address 24.210.130.148
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ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!
by hollie (Login holliedu)Wed. is weigh-in at WW. A woman sitting in the front row started a couple of weeks after me. This was last November, right? Well this week she has lost a total of 51 pounds!!! Wonderful! Except......I'm sitting there with a gain and I have gained back almost everything I lost. Which wasn't much, I might add!
I am so angry at myself. Now my DD has joined and according to their charts she has none to lose. But I really think she's afraid of getting fat like her mom and she wants to learn to eat right. I KNOW HOW TO EAT! I just don't do it.
I make excuses by listing all the things against me: 2 different types of medicine, age (menopause), etc., etc. And I know that's all it is, is excuses because if I really, really tried I could probably turn this thing around.
So this week, I picked up a monthly journal to fill in. I have never kept a tracker yet (pitiful) and I don't even know the points of most of the food I eat. What difference did it make if I wasn't going to write it down.
Motivation has been the biggest problem for me. But I am telling myself that I don't want to to be a problem for my DD. I have to SHOW her, just not tell her. That has been how I have reared her from a little girl. I never expected something of her that I wouldn't/couldn't do myself. So I just can NOT play around and make excuses. She'll know that's just what they are and she will pick up on it......and I don't want her making excuses. I want her to succeed. I have never allowed her to try and excuse herself out of anything so now I guess it's come back to bite me?! LOL!
I've got one whole day in! YES! I think this has been the first day that I have made the effort to follow program. I'm just so undisciplined with my eating. But no more excuses. I want to be able to post "before" and "after" pictures!
Okay, I'm done venting. If anyone read this.....thank you. I'm sure it probably doesn't make much sense except to me. But I know I've moved a step in the right direction.....now to keep going........
Later,
Hollie
from IP address 76.125.155.138
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Motherhood is such that many times we'll do something for our (m)
by Tiger Rats (Login TigerRats)If you are motivated by setting a good example for your DD, and it works for you -- go for it!
BTW I now track on my iPhone. I always track. I have been tracking diligently since April. All my clothes fit. And I am not starving, I am just eating a little differently.
For breakfast today I ate a LOT -- Fiber One cereal, yogurt, 4 kamut wafers (agave sweetened, from health food store) and whipped Weight Watchers cream cheese -- yum!
Life is good!
Tigs
from IP address 71.177.2.135
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Totally OP, I also had (m)
by Tiger Rats (Login TigerRats)Cauliflower with cheese sauce for a snack (Green Giant Just for One)
Spinach Ravioli for dinner (a WW recipe)
Steamed vegetables with buttery spray (lots!)
And I still might have ice cream or a Vitamuffin top, we'll see . . . and tomorrow morning for breakfast I am planning a Pumpkin Shake!
Pumpkin Shake is made in the blender with:
1 packet WW french vanilla drink mix
1 cup skim milk
1/2 cup canned pumpkin (not the pie mix)
pumpkin pie spice
1 or 2 packets sweetner
Blend it all up, then throw in some ice cubes and blend up again -- yum yum yum!
Tigs
from IP address 71.177.2.135
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Tigs, my sister puts pumpkin in her oatmeal.......
by hollie (Login holliedu)But I made it another day!!!! I put a little effort into planning. That's a lot of my problem....I don't plan. And you know the old saying----if you don't plan..you plan to fail!
Still trying,
Hollie
from IP address 76.125.155.138
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But Hollie, it makes perfect sense!!!!!!!!!!
by Maajida (Login Maajida2)from IP address 76.103.169.169
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It really did bother me.............
by (Login holliedu)It really does help to keep in contact when you're trying (or failing) on this journey!
Hollie
from IP address 76.125.155.138
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Hi again, Hollie......
by Maajida (Login Maajida2)from IP address 76.103.169.169
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Comforting things that aren't fattening (m)
by Tiger Rats (Login TigerRats)Wonderful smelling soaps and lotions
Snuggling up in a warm robe after a shower
The serene look of a de-cluttered space (keep in mind I have clutter issues)
Plants (unless you eat them)
Animals (ditto)
A hug
Tigs
from IP address 162.119.64.118
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Hi everyone! Tigs, what a WONDERFUL message thread!!!
by Maajida (Login Maajida2)A kind word or pat on the shoulder from someone who understands
A purring kitty
A call from someone saying 'just thinking of you'
dissappearing into a book or my artwork
bubble bath
watching silly old movies
etc.
and lots more, Maaj
from IP address 76.103.169.169
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Can't believe I lost a whole month! Laptop motherboard is fried & (m) Some is OT
by Deb (Login JustDoItDeb)We're possibly going to RI next month for the 50th anniversary of Harmony, our barbershop organization. It's just a bad time financially to be scraping up the cash for a new motherboard, or preferably a new laptop, as mine is 2 months past 3 years old and obviously lacking in its capabilities compared to the new ones.
![[linked image]](http://i277.photobucket.com/albums/kk56/SkittleKittyPics/gifs%20and%20jpgs/Juggling.gif)
My roomies went away for 5 days this past week and I binged, on chocolate mostly. By day 3 or 4 I had slowed down and was eating better. Just can't seem to make myself go to the gym, either. I was surprised and concerned on Labor Day at how much trouble I had getting on to certain rides (when we went to Disneyland). My legs refuse to lift this much weight.
Anyway, I'll try to stop my whining now!
![[linked image]](http://i277.photobucket.com/albums/kk56/SkittleKittyPics/gifs%20and%20jpgs/gagorder.gif)
If I'm not doing my part, I'm not going to see any results. I think I need to sit down, take a good hard look at my situation and then have a good long talk w/ God.
Thanks for your cyber ears and shoulders!
Deb
~My niece and I on her 5th birthday~
AND WE ARE SO WORTH IT!
from IP address 76.212.187.128
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Hi Deb! I can so relate to binge behavior when alone. I used to have (m)
by Tiger Rats (Login TigerRats)Then there's the difficulty of transitions that Maaj and I have discussed, people coming and going and it's so disorienting.
I can relate to old computer woes, as I've got my old clunker set up (typing on it now as a matter of fact!) but you know a new desktop I'm told would run me $500 or so and it's just not a good time right now. I've got a great monitor, so that's no problem, but the computer is quite a clunker!
Onward and forward! One baby step at a time, you can get more comfortable in your body. Imagine the things you can do instead of eat!
Tigs
from IP address 162.119.64.118
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Food will not make me less tired (m)
by Tiger Rats (Login TigerRats)Food will not provide the break my body needs from sitting in this lousy computer chair doing these charts.
Food will not solve my problems but oh I wish it would!
Tigs
from IP address 162.119.232.109
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Hi Tigs: food won't erase a dysfunctional childhood either
by JosannaJava (Login JosannaJava)I want my routine boring life back! I have a 72 hr Christian women's retreat starting this thursday night, then come next monday morning, I can hopefully have returned decent health and no more surprises, then I can return to some normalcy, including exercising.
Tigs: Don't want to ask sensitive questions, but are you getting married? How are the kids doing?
love to all, Josie
from IP address 24.210.130.148
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Kids are doing great, very pleased -- DS is having the most problems (m)
by (Login TigerRats)All the kids are actually doing really well and form kind of a natural support group for each other.
But no, not getting married! It's complicated.
Tigs
from IP address 162.119.238.162
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HI Tigs...........
by JosannaJava (Login JosannaJava)Marriage isn't for everyone, and I have loved my 24 years plus with my guy, but if anything happened, not sure if I would take the legal paper route again.
Do what your heart tells you to do!
enjoy your day, love, Josie.
from IP address 24.210.130.148
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I loved being married to my husband. Married was definitely what I wanted (m)
by Tiger Rats (Login TigerRats)I'm happy that the kids are doing well and I always wanted more kids; I used to fantasize about adopting foster children, so this must be what I was meant to do.
Tigs
from IP address 71.177.2.135
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food will not make my aching feet hurt less...
by (Premier Login awilson7)moderators
Angel RN
Tommy 13 in July, gasp
Ozzie 11yo sweet boy
coffeewilson at hotmail dot com
from IP address 72.86.125.8
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Angel: any chance one of your kids could give you a foot massage?
by (Login JosannaJava)take care, love, Josie
from IP address 24.210.130.148
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Off topic ?: are you all getting the vaccine for swine flu?
by JosannaJava (Login JosannaJava)Besides working in health care, having the history of interstitial pneumonitis 5 years ago, I am thinking the vaccine is a good idea even though at age 53 I have read us old timers may have been exposed to this stuff decades ago.
Anyone else have any thoughts on it?
I have gotten the annual flu shot for years now and haven't had a nasty case of the flu in all these years, a few times just a milder version of it, so thinking positive about this one too.
I hope you are all having a good weekend.
love, Josie
from IP address 24.210.130.148
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I will, so will my kids....
by (Premier Login awilson7)moderators
Angel RN
Tommy 13 in July, gasp
Ozzie 11yo sweet boy
coffeewilson at hotmail dot com
from IP address 72.86.125.8
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We don't have it yet but when we get it, I'm getting it. (m)
by Tiger Rats (Login TigerRats)Tigs
from IP address 71.177.2.135
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Thanks Angel and Tigs..............
by JosannaJava (Login JosannaJava)My body sorta wants to exercise today but not sure I am over this cold enough to tackle it.
have a good week everyone, hugs, Josie
from IP address 24.210.130.148
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Reasons to exercise -- guess what? I have personally run the experiment to (m)
by Tiger Rats (Login TigerRats)I never thought it would happen to me, sob!
Tigs
--Just more reasons to exercise -- I need to do it too (but at least I'm not ill -- hope you feel better soon!)
from IP address 162.119.232.109
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I heard that too, but w/ the asthma being so touchy, will do whatever my Dr. suggests! nt
by (Login JustDoItDeb)
~My niece and I on her 5th birthday~
AND WE ARE SO WORTH IT!
from IP address 76.212.187.128
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gasp, got on the scale.......
by (Premier Login awilson7)moderators
Angel RN
Tommy 13 in July, gasp
Ozzie 11yo sweet boy
coffeewilson at hotmail dot com
from IP address 72.86.125.8
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Baby steps, baby steps. You've been busy and stressed, but this can be a (m)
by Tiger Rats (Login TigerRats)Let's all stand up together!
Pick a baby step to make a habit of now to start getting back in the groove. Baby steps get you there.
Thinking of you,
Tigs
from IP address 71.177.2.135
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thx, more walking?....
by (Premier Login awilson7)moderators
Angel RN
Tommy 13 in July, gasp
Ozzie 11yo sweet boy
coffeewilson at hotmail dot com
from IP address 72.86.125.8
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Just for today, add one baby step, and as you are able, (m)
by Tiger Rats (Login TigerRats)Hugs,
Tigs
from IP address 162.119.238.162
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Just wanted to say hi and offer my support......(m)
by Maajida (Login Maajida2)from IP address 76.103.169.169
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Every day's a new day, every day we're alive brings new hope. (m)
by Tiger Rats (Login TigerRats)Attitude is everything!
Tigs (trying to get amped up herself for a killer Friday involving work work work and rushing to daughter's belt testing for Hapkido!)
from IP address 162.119.232.109
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inspiration quotes...
by (Premier Login awilson7)moderators
Ellen Degeneres
You have to stay in shape. My grandmother, she started walking five miles a day when she was 60. She's 97 today and we don't know where the hell she is.
Benjamin Franklin
You may delay, but time will not.
David Viscott
You must begin to think of yourself as becoming the person you want to be.
Eleanor Roosevelt
You must do the thing you think you cannot do.
George Bernard Shaw
You see things; and you say "Why?" But I dream things that never were; and I say "Why not?"
Ralph Marston
Your goals, minus your doubts, equal your reality.
George S. Patton
You're never beaten until you admit it.
Lee Iacocca
You've got to say, I think that if I keep working at this and want it badly enough I can have it. It's called perseverance.
Unknown Author
You don't drown by falling in the water. You drown by staying there.
Unknown Author
You don't realize how strong a person really is until you see them at their weakest moment.
Angel RN
Tommy 13 in July, gasp
Ozzie 11yo sweet boy
coffeewilson at hotmail dot com
from IP address 72.86.125.8
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Oh my, they were all just what I needed to hear
by Maaj (Login Maajida2)from IP address 76.103.169.169
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trying to get motivated....
by (Premier Login awilson7)moderators
how are you maaj?
Angel RN
Tommy 13 in July, gasp
Ozzie 11yo sweet boy
coffeewilson at hotmail dot com
| This message has been edited by awilson7 from IP address 72.86.125.8 on Oct 4, 2009 1:09 AM |
from IP address 72.86.125.8
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Thanks for sharing those Angel, and hi to you Maaj too.
by JosannaJava (Login JosannaJava)Today being sunday I am off to church and sunday school, then work 3 days, then we go back down to the boat at Lake Cumberland in Kentucky. Hubby does all the driving, but the 6.5 hrs at least each way and all the lugging of stuff back and forth, it is exhausting. Yes, there is down time there, but it is tiring and my body hasn't adjusted yet. But this upcoming trip maybe my last this season as hubby hopes to get it all winterized then it will stay in the water as too big to trailer out and put it somewhere else.
Then Oct 15th I have a 72 hr women's only retreat at a campground through the Methodist church I am currently a member of. I am told this will be a lifetime experience, so a little nervous yet looking forward to it to.
Trying to keep up with exercising when I am home, but sometimes I am so tired and leary of lifting even 5# free weights as I had some reoccurence of pain a couple weeks ago after doing some 5 and 6 dumbbells.
Food wise, well, I gained 5# or so over the summer, but given my potential for gaining and my history of food binging, not that bad.
Come November 5th, I am doing intense EMDR therapy on the role my Mom had in my childhood and one of the first incidents we are using is when I admitted to her in second grade I binged on raw spaghetti.
I got to thinking, then quit thinking as I need to leave this for Nov 5th and my wise therapist help with it all, but IF Mom had only handled that differently, I may never have developed the dysfunctional relationship I have with food.
In my dream world Mom would have said:
"Honey, I love you, you don't need to turn to food for comfort. Please come to me, I will listen, I will love you, I will give you a hug. You can come to me anytime and know that I love you unconditionally. I am sorry your Dad yells at you and acts like he does. It isn't your fault he is an alcoholic."
Oh well, back to reality.
Thanks for listening to my long narrative here.
Angel: I hope life improves for you and your sons.
Maaj: love to you too. Josie.
from IP address 24.210.130.148
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Hi Angel & Josie, and everyone......(m)
by Maaj (Login Maajida2)from IP address 76.103.169.169
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My fave, because it describes my situation to a T is Eleanor Roosevelt's (m)
by (Login JustDoItDeb)Thanks Angel!
Deb
~My niece and I on her 5th birthday~
AND WE ARE SO WORTH IT!
from IP address 76.212.187.128
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so I've been down all day with this hacky cough and
by hollie (Login holliedu)Do you think I'll ever get back to normal---whatever that is????
Hollie
from IP address 76.125.155.138
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Hollie, hope you're feeling better and......
by Maajida (Login Maajida2)from IP address 76.103.169.169
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Am I hungry or just unhappy?
by Tiger Rats (Login TigerRats)So PLENTY of breakfast calorically, and when I check how my tummy feels, I feel full and YET just now as I was passing through the kitchen, thinking about the computer work I have to do for work, and all the laundry that remains to be done, I suddenly felt hungry for -- or was it a craving for -- chocolate! And I knew there were these 100 calorie packs of chocolate cupcakes in the pantry that wouldn't do that much damage . . . but then I thought NO, you are NOT hungry, you are just unhappy.
And I walked past the cupcakes and went on upstairs.
Problem is, that's a lot of mental energy expended just to avoid one pack (I hope it would just be one pack LOL, maybe not) of cupcakes that was only 100 calories.
I wish this process would get easier!
Tigs (grr)
from IP address 162.119.232.109
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Oh dear, it's hard to determine the difference between the two.....
by Maaj (Login Maajida2)from IP address 76.103.169.169
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Wow-- I need to take a lesson with that breakfast --
by (Login laura_mom_atty)from IP address 72.211.239.103
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Snack snack snack -- on healthy food you keep at your desk! (m)
by Tiger Rats (Login TigerRats)corn thins or spelt wafers (agave sweetened, yum!) with cream cheese, and if I want, sugar free jam (in my fridge) -- I also keep laughing cow lite cheese (LCL for short) in my fridge for a savory alternative.
yogurt (sometimes I bring fiber one cereal)
60 calorie puddings
veggies I can microwave (not broccoli, nobody will let me 'cause of the smell)
low calorie soups
I keep Salad Dressing Spray and Spray Butter in my fridge at work to dress up bowls of chopped salad and veggies that I steam.
Hope this helps!
Tigs
from IP address 162.119.238.162
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Was down with a migraine................
by hollie (Login holliedu)Really, I have been doing pretty good today. Thanks Tigs, for taking the time to share. I really needed to hear it even if it's been said a thousand times on this board!
I have a lot going on right now but I find that I tend to do that. Example:
1. mtg. with my PA state rep. to find out how to write a grant that will actually get us some money! (This is the non-profit organization I'm pres. of)
2. start teaching late-start classes at the university on tues/thurs. mornings.
3. teaching private piano lessons on mon. mornings
4. choral society rehearsals on tues. nights
5. working on brochures, etc. to get my music studio more exposure.
6. WW on Wed. mornings.
And the list goes on. Here's the pitiful thing......my kids aren't even home anymore so I have no idea why I don't have more time! I think I just allow things to fill it all in. You know the old----"I can't tell anyone, NO?"
In the meantime my poor house sits here looking so terribly neglected! I stayed up how late decorating for fall and ended up breaking a brand new figurine that I was putting out! I was soooo upset at myself. A lot of it was that I'm not as flexible as I used to be (arthritis?) and I ended up being clumsy and knocking it on the floor. Since I have ceramic tile....it was in pieces. I only decorate the kitchen for fall because Christmas I do the whole house. All the other seasons/holidays a new tea towel and tablecloth is about all I do! You'd be surprised how just a holiday tea towel hanging on the oven door with a holiday throw rug can change the whole room.
I'm not as bad as my sister----she has 7 full size christmas trees in her house. You don't need any lights on at night to walk around her house! Those of you that like the "country" decor will know what her house looks like! I call it "country clutter"! LOL! She takes all of her pictures down and hangs Christmas pictures. You just can not imagine what all she does. She does this for every season. Jan. is snowmen, Feb. is hearts (Valentine's), March is 4-leaf clovers and leprechans, April is Easter bunnies, May-June is spring flowers, July-Aug. is patriotic, Sept-Oct is fall, Nov. is Thanksgiving and Dec. is Christmas. Christmas she has over 40 tubs that she brings up from her basement that has her decorations in them. Shouldn't this be a sin????!!!! LOL!
Well I've rambled long enough and I really need to get to bed. I HAVE to change my sleep patterns so that I can teach these morning classes! That's going to be a trip!
Have a great week-end,
Hollie
from IP address 76.125.155.138
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Yikes, Hollie, welcome to the "System Overload Club".....(m)
by Maajida (Login Maajida2)I'd love to see how beautifully your house is done for the different seasons...I too love to decorate a bit for the different times of year...it's fun to be able to experience the joy of how everything looks, but what is joyful for one person sure could be overdoing for someone else. It's great that all the decorating is what your sis wants to do, but it doesn't mean we have to second guess our own style of doing so, in comparison to someone else's.
I absolutely identified with your concerns about where the time goes, when you don't even have kids living at home any more. Between my full-time work, and keeping up with my responsibilities at home and concerning my mom, who's in a memory care facility, I feel utterly overwhelmed at times. I had a major melt-down for a few hours yesterday, during which some old destructive habits returned, and I know the 'system overload' was at the heart of it. I regret it happening, but I am ok now, re-focused, and determined to not dwell on backtracking too long before I start moving forward again.
Hugs to you, Hollie, and to the rest of us here who are on 'system overload' so much of the time. What are your coping skills, to be able to feel that time doesn't have to be the enemy in all this? Hollie, hope the migraine went away and that you are feeling better. Happy weekend, everyone. Maajida
from IP address 76.103.169.169
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And it's no wonder you felt overwhelemed, I get tired just thinking (m)
by (Login TigerRats)It's time we faced the fact that an hour isn't really all that long LOL. Anyway, the older you get the shorter time gets (did you ever notice that?)
I think resting and re-energizing without having to recover from a binge would be a really good ritual for you to cultivate -- to be able to do the recovery without having to have the melt-down first, as if that's what gives you permission. You always have the permission to say "Stop the World, I Want to Get Off!"
I have the same problem, I'll overeat before I realize I'm overloaded and simply need a break, but this is my challenge, to deal with this better.
Tigs
from IP address 71.177.2.135
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I think we can definitely file this one under "Women who Do Too Much," (m)
by Tiger Rats (Login TigerRats)Hollie dear you much deserve an extended vacation, at least from your sense of responsibility and guilt!
I have those problems, too, and I always do best when I can let some of the things go, say no to somebody, deal with not being perfect, all those things that are so very hard to do.
No wonder it gave you a migraine!
I think changing your sleep patterns is a good start!
Now that you've articulated everything, you've got a path to follow -- go for it!
Tigs
from IP address 71.177.2.135
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Changing my sleep patterns?.......................
by hollie (Login holliedu)I start teaching this week and I am going to have to get scheduled. (I just HATE schedules---too confining!) But I will do it. I remember when I was going to college and I had 2 kids at home yet and a husband that was having major surgeries at least twice a year. I was carrying an average of 20 credits (overload) a semester and had to keep my grade point average up. And I was also teaching 45 students at 5 different private schools in the area (I traveled there).
I managed all this by sitting down and "mapping" out the hours of my week. I did this every week. I put down what time I got up, what time my classes were, when I taught, and also blocked off study time. I used a chart and colored pencils. Each color represented a different class, event, etc. That way if it was changed I could erase it. Now if I could be this disciplined at that time------what in the world happened????!!!!!
So I'm going to do a version of that. Not the same thing but some kind of a schedule so that I can keep my wits about me.
I just found out that Oct. 15 (in 2 wks) we are having a family come in to see our family (my sisters, kids, etc.) We have become really good friends with them and their kids. There will be 14 of them. Yes, I know. We are crazy. They will be here Wed. through Sunday. I think. So I know I'm going to have to get more organized than this. Even signed up with the FlyLady! LOL! I am serious!
My house needs cleaned and I might have to call a window cleaning company in to clean the outside of my windows. I'm too old and stiff to clean them. They're the old double-hung windows that you have to push half-way and hang out while you try to reach and clean. My curtains need drycleaned and they're custom valances that are nailed onto a wooden frame and then put on the wall. I have to unscrew the frame, take the staples out, clean them, reverse the process to get them back up. They're ivory and they're starting to look gray. Maybe I should just try and vaccuum them and see if that will fix it. I don't have the money to have a cleaninging company come in and steam them if I'm going to get the windows done too. Oh my.......what to do, what to do!
Have a great week and if you have any extra time come on over! I'll put you to work! LOL!
Later,
Hollie
from IP address 76.125.155.138
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ROFL Hollie I'm a horrible housecleaner! Just got taken to task over (m)
by Tiger Rats (Login TigerRats)Your schedule is mind-boggling. I can't even begin to imagine how you do it. Back when you were in college, talking about your life was making my head spin!
You'll have to keep us posted!
Tigs
from IP address 71.177.2.135
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There was so much dust under the bed...............
by hollie (Login holliedu)I am logging off people because I have to teach tomorrow. Have to be up at 6:30am. It is now 11:16 pm here. Hey----I'm doing better!!??!!!! LOL!
Later,
Hollie
from IP address 76.125.155.138
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Starting almost completely over again
by (Login lonestarsanta)from IP address 66.216.185.210
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Welcome Pam! How about an intro for those of us who don't know (m)
by Tiger Rats (Login TigerRats)Are you on any particular plan? Fill us in, and welcome!
Tigs
from IP address 71.177.2.135
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affirmation of hard work....
by (Premier Login awilson7)moderators
I should say next time that I'll skip the ballet section. Every exercise hurt my knees and not in a good way. Lunges and plea-a's (how does one spell those?) and such. Not good.
Anyhow, keeping it real, still on track, hope everyone has a great week
Angel RN
Tommy 13 in July, gasp
Ozzie 11yo sweet boy
coffeewilson at hotmail dot com
from IP address 72.86.125.8
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Loving that working out! I am drowning myself in vegetables and (m)
by Tiger Rats (Login TigerRats)I'm not in the shape I was in 3 years ago, but I'm the weight I was, and the shape is coming . . . I just have to work at it.
Working out gives you energy, makes you strong and healthy. Living well is the best revenge! You go!
Tigs
from IP address 71.177.2.135
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getting back in the game......
by (Premier Login awilson7)moderators
Going back to what works, putting one step in front of the other, praying for his will in my life today.
Angel RN
Tommy 13 in July, gasp
Ozzie 11yo sweet boy
coffeewilson at hotmail dot com
from IP address 72.86.125.8
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You go, Angel! I want to start working out again, that's what's (m)
by (Login TigerRats)I'm so proud of you for focusing on fitness now. It really will give you strength to deal with your other stuff!
Let's get active and fit!
Tigs
from IP address 162.119.238.162
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And on the note of getting active and fit, I'm having a little success in that (m)
by (Login TigerRats)Tigs (inspired)
from IP address 162.119.232.109
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Angel: I so agree about
by JosannaJava (Login JosannaJava)I can't imagine a life without a deep belief in God, just like I love having a church to attend that feeds my soul and has given me church friends that really care about me. When I had surgery, they were there, and that meant so much.
Angel: glad you got exercising in and realized your body didn't want any of the food that was in the fridge.
To feel our emotions vs. eating over them, that is a life long journey for me.
take care, love, Josie
from IP address 24.210.130.148
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On the subject of feeling one's emotions rather than eating them (m)
by Tiger Rats (Login TigerRats)This was a major GRR for me. Great, let's market our Blizzards by encouraging people to eat for emotional reasons! What the heck, we're already telling people they need to eat in order to socialize, eat in order to celebrate, let's just give 'em the okay to be emotional eaters!
As if eating should have anything to do with emotion!
Made me mad. The food and restaurant industry is almost as guilty as the tobacco industry, in my opinion, in ruining Americans; health. I know they've got to market their stuff, but it bothers me when they're that transparent about it!
Tigs
from IP address 162.119.232.109
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Way to go, Angel....so proud of you and.....
by maaj (Login Maajida2)from IP address 76.103.169.169
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BOY DO I KNOW HOW THAT FEELS
by (Login lonestarsanta)from IP address 66.216.185.210
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Hi girlfriends!..................
by hollie (Login holliedu)I'm teaching a late-start class which starts the end of September. I've also opened up my music studio (piano/voice) again. And I've been working on grants for our local recreation center. I have a deadline on that one at the end of the month. So I'm feeling the crunch.
My hubby, son and son-in-law are out in Colorado elk hunting. My son goes just about every year but this is the first time for the other two. I'll be glad when they get back home.
Have a great week, everyone!
Hollie
from IP address 76.125.155.138
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When my head gets out of it, two things that get me back in are (m)
by Tiger Rats (Login TigerRats)2. Tracking. I always track, always, and I try hard to be honest and not forget anything, and not under-count my points. To save time, I don't track activity points (I bet if I did I would exercise more!).
Let's go over your motivation . . . why don't you make a list and we'll comment upon it? What are the "reasons" and what are YOUR reasons?
I'll give you my short list:
(1) I like it when my clothes fit and I can wear anything in my closet, always have something to wear and no fuss in the morning
(2) I like to feel that I look good
(3) I don't want to get diabetes -- must stay healthy to take care of my kids!
(4) I don't want to get old any quicker than I have to!
Tigs
from IP address 71.177.2.135
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Reasons.................
by hollie (Login holliedu)1. I don't want to be this heavy at my age. It becomes a major health issue.
2. I would just like to feel pretty again......
And those two reasons should be enough to get me motivated and keep me motivated. But even though I know this, I'm not doing it. I'm not tracking. I HATE tracking. Fortunately, I'm pretty good at remembering what I ate but I know I'm not seeing the whole picture. I have nothing to reference when I don't track.
I'm feeling pretty lousy about this.........!
Hollie
from IP address 76.125.155.138
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Okay, so let's get down to the nitty gritty -- what is it you hate about (m)
by Tiger Rats (Login TigerRats)Frankly, I kind of like tracking. I hate writing down when I ate something I shouldn't have, or too much of something, but I rest secure in the knowledge that simply tracking, simply writing it down, is proven to reduce your intake . . . just that one act, with no attempt to cut back.
Did you know that studies show if you eat something and throw out the wrapper, you're more likely to eat more than if you leave the wrapper in front of you where you can see it?
Anyway, what is it about tracking that keeps you from tracking?
The biggest part for me is the annoyance of getting out the record in the middle of my busy day -- and yes, I'll admit it -- I don't like people to see me tracking, I feel like it needs to be private or they'll think I'm weird . . . .
Tigs
from IP address 162.119.238.162
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I guess I never really thought about................
by hollie (Login holliedu)As I sit here and think about it, maybe it isn't so much the "have to" part of it but just being angry because I can't eat like I used to and look like I used to. I am very disciplined in a lot of areas of my life and tracking your food requires discipline. Why can't I carry that on over? I actually carry 2 WW tracking diaries with me but I never write anything down. How dumb is that, right??? LOL!
And I have had a lot of things happen in my life that I have had absolutely no control over. Maybe I'm trying to retain some kind of control over my life since so much has changed in a way that I couldn't control.
Losing weight is WORK and I'm tired. I'm very tired...of everything. And I just don't want to work at anything anymore, even though I don't like the results.
Oh my, I really sound confused, don't I?! Am I the only one that feels this way?? Does anyone else ever struggle with any of this?
Thanks Tigs, for taking the time to answer me and showing an interest. Sometimes I feel so alone in all of this.
Hollie
from IP address 76.125.155.138
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Oh my gosh, Hollie, you are SO not alone in all of this and.....(m)
by maaj (Login Maajida2)from IP address 76.103.169.169
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When the scale doesn't cooperate, it's just ONE measure, we (m)
by (Login TigerRats)The scale is not always logical!
Tigs
from IP address 71.177.2.135
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Well you are certainly not alone (m)
by (Login TigerRats)I appreciate the "control" aspect of your concerns although my own perspective is different because I feel part of why I lost weight when my husband died was because not eating was one thing I could control amid many other things I could not control.
If you are angry, and anger is in your way, then it's a really good exercise to face and deal with the anger. Anger is a toxic emotion that builds up and must be released. I personally have a tendency to eat my angry feelings, which results in excess caloric intake and weight gain.
What I hear is kind of a depressed resignation about weight gain, which admittedly is more difficult to manage with age. (Boy do I know that.)
But fat on your body will age you more quickly.
I want to know more about how you carry 2 trackers and don't use them. Tell me about that. Why TWO trackers? Do you ever use them? Or you simply don't use them at all?
I think tracking would help you get back on track (that's why they call it on track LOL) but it is not the ONLY way to get on track. If you rebel against tracking, they have "setpoints," which to me seems more complicated, but you can do it that way too.
Reaching for a way to help you Hollie; you know we've all known you a long time and you know how much we care!
Tigs
from IP address 71.177.2.135
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why do I carry 2 trackers???..............
by hollie (Login holliedu)I know that if I don't change something, I will continue to look like this. I'm not wishing to be what I was when I was 21, just a healthy weight for my age. Which means I need to lose about 65lb. I am grossly obese. Don't I use nice words to describe myself? Another area I need to work on.
I know everyone gains weight at menopause but not like I did! My weigh-in day is Wed. so I really have only 1 more day to go.
Tigs, I can remember your weight loss dialogues on the board and how excited you would get. I'm older than you but surely I ought to be able to lose some of this.
I'm going to try and track one day. Small step, but maybe it will break the destructive cycle I'm on. If I can just remember to do it.......
Thanks girlfriends for all your help. What would I do without all of you??!!! Who else understands these kind of problems?
Hollie
from IP address 76.125.155.138
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Yes the meeting is key! It inspires you! You want to be inspired! (m)
by Tiger Rats (Login TigerRats)I suspect (and I've seen pictures of you) that you may only need to lose 30 or 40 lbs and perhaps not the 65 you imagine, but even if you do, it's do-able, I lost over 50 lbs, Maaj lost 100 lbs, it's VERY do-able.
Not only that, it's re-doable LOL.
I just joined WW in April because I had gained 10 or 15 lbs and I have FINALLY lost it and now everything fits and I just need to tone up. It literally took me almost 6 months to lose less than 15 lbs! (I actually lost 13 point something pounds and just made goal 4 days ago -- but I have not been celebrating a lot -- except privately -- I really have not told people -- because I don't want to backtrack.)
Let me tell you what I love about having lost the weight -- I love being able to decide what I'm going to wear and just put it on and it fits and most of the time it looks okay! I just love that!
I love being a healthy weight for my height (which is not very tall LOL).
I love the fact that I was able to do something, anything -- no matter how hard it was -- to get the weight back off!
And I agree with you 100%, saying mean things to yourself is hurting yourself. Be kinder to yourself. Be as kind to yourself as you would be to a friend. Would you talk to a friend like that? (How many times have we all said THAT on this board?)
I agree with taking the baby step of tracking for just one day. Please please let us know how it goes, we care!
Tigs (thinking of you and sending success and positivity vibes your way!)
from IP address 162.119.238.162
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Good news..my blood pressure is down
by (Login schoolraider)However, I am really sick with some respiratory flu thing. Today I started with aches and pains all over especially in my joints. My son, who has asthma, has a really really bad respiratory infection. Now he's on an antibiotic, prednisone and breathing treatments. Yikes. Every year it is the same when he goes back to school...but this year it happened early. Sigh.
from IP address 24.15.129.218
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hope you guys get better soon....
by (Premier Login awilson7)moderators
Angel RN
Tommy 13 in July, gasp
Ozzie 11yo sweet boy
coffeewilson at hotmail dot com
from IP address 72.86.125.8
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Adie, tell your son I know just how he feels. Most every cold I get goes like that! nt
by Deb (Login JustDoItDeb)
~My niece and I on her 5th birthday~
AND WE ARE SO WORTH IT!
from IP address 76.212.177.98
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Going to ride my exercise bike....
by (Premier Login awilson7)moderators
Angel RN
Tommy 13 in July, gasp
Ozzie 11yo sweet boy
coffeewilson at hotmail dot com
from IP address 72.86.125.8
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Happy riding, Angel...and.....(m)
by Maajida (Login Maajida2)from IP address 76.103.169.169
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Lisa, I found the problem w/ signing in on the little Linux computer...(m)
by (Login JustDoItDeb)God bless your day!
Deb
~My niece and I on her 5th birthday~
AND WE ARE SO WORTH IT!
from IP address 76.212.177.98
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Hi all, what's up?
by JosannaJava (Login JosannaJava)Well, off to a town north of me for lunch at Panera, which I have never been there and some shopping too. Hubby went down to the lake for the weekend but I couldn't take off any more work time after just having those 2 weeks off and taking a 4 day weekend at the end of September.
I haven't been on a scale, but judging by the fit of my clothes, probably up a couple or so.
I am just getting back into the exercise groove but haven't resumed the free weights much since my attempts to resume the amount of ## from before my neck surgery, ended up with extreme arm/hand pain in june and into july.
I went on Benicar for blood pressure the end of July, and the pain went away. Tigs: ??? have you ever heard of high blood pressure causing arm pain? My wise therapist that reads like a bandit said she had read that and gave the credit to it going away because I started the med.
And speaking of therapist, I haven't been seeing her much, every 6 weeks or so for a "check-up", but with some recent issues I have had, I agree with her I still need some childhood crap to work on so have agreed to do some EMDR on Mom stuff. Nothing as intense like I did on Dad a couple years ago, I don't think I could mentally do that hard of work again.
So what is everyone else up too?
hugs and love to all, Josie
from IP address 24.210.130.148
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Hi Josie 0/(waving) I had a great long weekend. (m) Warning- Long & OT
by (Login JustDoItDeb)I've had a nasty itchy rash on my lower legs for about a week now. I had told the Dr. red, hot skin seems to come and go in my calves, so I thought it was an allergy, not *cellulitis,* but this is the first time I've gotten a recognizable rash. I have what look like pimples or blisters in various places on my legs and that's where the itch seems to come from, as well. And on top of that, it's been accompanied by swollen legs. At this point, one knee is actually sore from being elevated. If I used the wrong name for the diagnosis, I'm sure one of our nurses or other med-savvy members will let us know.
Now only the blisters are there, the rest is normal flesh color.
Sorry this turned out to be so long and off topic! But Josie did ask,LOL!
Hugs,
Deb
~My niece and I on her 5th birthday~
AND WE ARE SO WORTH IT!
from IP address 76.212.177.98
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What's everyone doing for the long weekend??
by Maajida (Login Maajida2)from IP address 76.103.169.169
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Have been craving chocolate lately, every candy bar has been (m)
by Tiger Rats (Login TigerRats)Super busy, getting work done for work, wrangling 4 kids, DBF was at his office catching up on papework all day yesterday (he said he got about 1/3 of it done) and has already gone in today, kids are still asleep.
On today's agenda: party at a friend's house (I have to make a fruit salad, have been looking at WW recipes), and my son's going to the Dodgers game.
Busy Busy Busy!
Tigs
from IP address 162.119.232.109
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Why do you think it was chocolate?
by Maaj (Login Maajida2)from IP address 76.103.169.169
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I would go with the sweet and nurturing idea. I think the key with cravings (m)
by Tiger Rats (Login TigerRats)If there was just one thing to do, we'd have all figured it out already LOL.
tigs
from IP address 162.119.238.162
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Tigs, DFR found SF Jello Chocolate pudding mix, ea packet + 1/2 c. milk = 1 serving! nt
by (Login JustDoItDeb)from IP address 76.212.177.98
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Enjoying the heck out of sugar free puddings of all sorts right now (m)
by Tiger Rats (Login TigerRats)Tigs
from IP address 162.119.238.162
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I've been sick...
by (Premier Login awilson7)moderators
Hope you all are having fun. I don't have to go back to work until Thursday so I'm sure I'll be better by then.
Angel RN
Tommy 13 in July, gasp
Ozzie 11yo sweet boy
coffeewilson at hotmail dot com
from IP address 72.86.125.8
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Oh oh, hope you feel waaaay better soon.....
by Maaj (Login Maajida2)from IP address 76.103.169.169
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yep, I've had my official RN since June 19th....
by (Premier Login awilson7)moderators
Feeling better today than I did yesterday. Wish I had something better to do with my time than recuperate, but it's his will, right?
Hope you are well, Maaj.
Angel RN
Tommy 13 in July, gasp
Ozzie 11yo sweet boy
coffeewilson at hotmail dot com
from IP address 72.86.125.8
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oh my gosh, it's time that you need to.....(m)
by Maaj (Login Maajida2)from IP address 76.103.169.169
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If you are able to eat tomatoes, run don't walk to Whole Foods or your (m)
by Tiger Rats (Login TigerRats)Who knew tomatoes could taste like candy?
Now's the time to enjoy this delicious, low calorie, nutritious treat!
Tigs
from IP address 162.119.238.162
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I am to the point where I don't want to get on scales; every time I do, I've gained! (m)!
by (Login JustDoItDeb)![[linked image]](http://i277.photobucket.com/albums/kk56/SkittleKittyPics/gifs%20and%20jpgs/badscales.gif)
I talked myself out of running over to DQ tonight, for an ice cream treat they've been advertising. So far today I've had a bowl of dry cereal (Barbara's Bakery Multi-grain Crisps, naturally sweet, only 5g sugar and 20 carbs; that's minus the 4g fiber), it's actually tastier dry than w/ milk. Then I had 2 MorningStar vegan griller patties w/ 2 pcs of healthy bread, 2 packets of ketchup & 1 tbsp of Miracle Whip. I plan to have a fresh plum later today and am on my 2nd bottle of water for the day.
![[linked image]](http://i277.photobucket.com/albums/kk56/SkittleKittyPics/gifs%20and%20jpgs/smileydrinkswater.gif)
I may also have some celery w/peanut butter.
I'm not quite sure what is making me eat, although, as I said recently, some of my Rx's make me physically hungry and that is hard to ignore. But I am also binging at times, so there is something else going on.
This last week I've been working at reorganizing my room. DMR managed to move my desk into here and he put the stuff that was in the way into bins. I just unloaded my desk chair's burden of clothes last night so I could sit down and work, now I don't have to worry about tripping over the computer cord anymore.
There is definitely more sorting and finding homes for stuff to accomplish; my new motto is "Everything has to Have a Home!" I see how easy it is to undo the work I've done; I caught myself leaving a small bin open after I pulled out the meds I needed, so I stopped and put it away. I do that all the time, put cleaning or straightening up off for later and later never comes! And the cats are Destructo beasts! The other thing is that DMR put things I use all the time into the bins, too. So I'm also looking for that stuff and have to consciously keep the sorting contained within the bins. The one thing I still really need is a bookcase. I left one behind when I moved from the desert; DMR said it was unstable and that he could make me a better one. Well, I've accumulated more books, plus there are still a whole bookcase worth of them still packed in bins. Currently there is no room in here for a bookcase, so who knows?
Anyhoo, that's where I am right now. I have to get a grip on my eating! I have great intentions that are just not making the change to real life. So I need to figure out how to make that happen and how to make them permanent changes, as well.
Hugs to all!
Deb
~My niece and I on her 5th birthday~
AND WE ARE SO WORTH IT!
from IP address 76.212.178.98
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Hugs Deb, I've had those frustrating times before, I was over 180 at times (m)
by Tiger Rats (Login TigerRats)I know you've been concerned about your diabetes and health issues and that can be a starting point for you to motivate; it does sound as if you need to deal with a certain degree of sabotage which has got to be hard, too.
Hugs!
How about focusing on one small baby step you can change . . . like RESISTING when Madison Avenue tries to sell you something you don' tneed, like a new treat at DQ! They make money, you get poorer and fat -- good deal for them, bad deal for you!
I am not lily white at all and spend a fortune on Golden Spoon yogurt (which is only 1 point for a Mini, 2 points for Small or Regular, and I'm not sure what for Large since I never get it LOL). But I don't eat Blizzards and such these days, even though I think about them sometimes.
And my binges are all carefully measured, and involve things like WW ice cream cups, WW fudgsicles, and Vitamuffin Tops.
Keeping the binge foods limited actually seems to help limit the binges; or maybe it's that I hate counting the points . . . whatever it is, it's helped me get the 10 lbs off that I needed to . . . .
Also remember each scale reading is just a starting point for the rest of your efforts.
Good luck and never never never give up!
Tigs
from IP address 71.189.201.134
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Hi Deb and Tigs and everyone else...........
by JosannaJava (Login JosannaJava)Here is a line from Paul McKenna's book, I can make you thin.
"One of my colleagues has achieved an extraordinary amount of success by simply making his clients put a giant question mark on their fridge. The question mark is there to remind them to stop before grabbing a snack and ask themselves this question:
Am I really hungry, or do I just want to change the way I feel?
If it turns out that what you actually want is a change in the way that you feel, no amount of food will work as well as applying the simple techniques in this book and on the hypnosis CD." pg. 14
------------------
Also Deb, we are all different, but I know for me, if I tell myself I can't have certain foods, those are the ones I want all the more. But for others they can exclude certain foods and do OK with that.
Last night I so wanted to give into emotional eating, but I didn't. I had eaten my dinner and that was that. I knew no amount of food was going to change some issues with my Mom and her having some tests run as she fears she has stomach cancer, and no amount of food was going to turn my 36 yr old stepdaughter into a self supporting adult vs. having her hand out for my husband and his ex-wife to now support her and her 2 kids.
May God comfort all of us today, love, Josie
from IP address 24.210.130.148
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ITA with the question mark technique and am thinking that we need (m)
by Tiger Rats (Login TigerRats)Maybe we all need question mark tattoos LOL.
Excellent suggestion.
ITA, there is a serious danger in making any food forbidden.
On WW, no food is forbidden, but I have to "pay" points for the foods, so they may not seem worth it. The concept has taken some getting used to but I think I am working it better now.
Today we are having a birthday party for my DD, who's turning 11. I am debating whether I should have a piece of her ice cream cake (from Baskin Robbins).
I can "afford it" by dipping into my banked points, but I have been thinking about whether I want it, and how much I want it . . . .
Seems kinda silly to think so much about a piece of cake.
Tigs
from IP address 71.189.201.134
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Mixed blessings here, I realized that the heat wave caused some water retention...(m)
by (Login JustDoItDeb)Okay, so I think I'm getting an inkling here. I have to stop (question mark moment) and say, is eating this loving myself or destroying me? Also, for this next week or so, is the sorting and organizing setting off binges? I've been watching Hoarders and I think I'm a borderline hoarder! I can still realize what is trash in most cases, but I see myself in the people that must pick through everything and save the one little scrap of paper, which can escalate into total chaos way faster than you would think. I have resisted chaos much more of late; when we clear off the dining room table, I am the one saying "don't put that bag on the table, we just got it cleaned," but the DR's don't realize that one bag can lead back to disaster. And, again with the question mark moment, before I buy something I need to stop and say, "where will I keep this?" Here is a good, albeit temporary way to keep that in mind. Write a question mark in ink on the back of your dominant hand! Then, as you reach for something, whether food or a piece of potential clutter, you should see it and catch yourself. And I have just the washable markers to do it with; plus I even know right where they are! BONUS!
I'm also going to try and give myself a lot of pats on the back for what I am achieving, both in my eating and organizing. I've pulled out my copy of *First Things First*, which is the sequel to Seven Habits of Highly Effective People and, to me, really gets into the nitty gritty of making better choices and making them in the areas that are important to one's heart. The other thing I liked about this book is that they acknowledge the spiritual; the principles seem to be much more God-oriented. I have a template I made up for the weekly goal setting they suggest, found the right USB cord for my external drive, so I could access those things again. BONUS #2! And with God's help, I can make progress. I refuse to be this person (insert the emoticon that's banging his head against the brick wall) anymore!
Reminder to myself...I am not doing this alone, I have God and all of you on my side! BONUS #3!!
with love,
Deb
~My niece and I on her 5th birthday~
AND WE ARE SO WORTH IT!
from IP address 76.212.178.98
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Is hoarding related to binge eating? Because I am a "borderline hoarder" too -- (m)
by Tiger Rats (Login TigerRats)I like the question mark technique.
Right on -- like your thought process "beating myself up doesn't do anything but make me feel worse and more apt to binge!" -- so just for today, don't beat yourself up, and congratulate yourself on baby steps. "Plan the small wins" -- if you go out, have a small milkshake instead of the large, that's the ticket! Get going in the right direction.
A journey of 1,000 miles starts with a single step. Just take the small steps. It's not such a monumental project if you work in small steps!
Go Deb!
Tigs
from IP address 162.119.232.109
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Thanks, Tigs...I'm rather proud of the question mark idea too! FlyLady has a whole... (m)
by (Login JustDoItDeb)We're getting ready for a visit from DFR's best friend,, who will overlook the mess here, but of course DFR would like it to be clean, so we are trying to accomplish as much as possible before the BF arrives today. I have to clear the extra chair off in the living room, it's stacked with stuff. I'm going to try to do some sweeping without setting off more spasms in my side (probably from that darn fibro), then keep plugging away here in my room. If DFR can't finish curtains for the enclosed patio, BF will be sleeping in here. So... back to the grind!
TTYL,
Deb
~My niece and I on her 5th birthday~
AND WE ARE SO WORTH IT!
from IP address 76.212.178.98
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OMG I bring home recycling too! Opening Day at Dodgers Stadium it was (m)
by Tiger Rats (Login TigerRats)It must be some form of OCD!
Tigs
from IP address 71.189.201.134
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sorry to be joining in so late in response, but.......
by Maajida (Login Maajida2)Also, I find that in my scale agonies, I lose sight of the fact that this journey is about much more than weight...it seems to help if I also remember that this is about heart health, strength (emotional and physical), stamina, flexibility, clothes fit, and all that good stuff that affects the quality of our lives no matter what age we are.
These agonies are sure frustrating, but I love all the good dialogue everyone has been in about all the related issues. Hang in there everyone....ugh, I'm up in the middle of the night again...a kitty needed a hug and now I can't get back to sleep, lol. Take care, everyone, Maaj
from IP address 76.103.169.169
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Glad to have you chiming in, Maaj, you always have great feedback! (m)
by (Login JustDoItDeb)Just read an article about hoarding and learned some interesting facts. It's often a part of OCD. If you get rid of the hoarded item(s), the feelings associated with it/them will fade. You can read the article here -http://www.everydayhealth.com/anxiety/living-with-a-compulsive-hoarder.aspx?xid=nl_EverydayHealthEmotionalHealth_20090621
Hugs,
Deb
~My niece and I on her 5th birthday~
AND WE ARE SO WORTH IT!
from IP address 76.212.177.98
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What is everyone up to these days?
by JosannaJava (Login JosannaJava)Sipping my version of iced coffee. Make regular coffee, the put one hazelnut creamer in it, only 40 calories. Got tired of paying Tim Horton more for iced coffee than for hot coffee, and starbucks is really insane in how much they charge.
Me that loves to exercise is taking a break from it during my time off, although I did do some stretching today.
I started on benicar for high blood pressure in late July, thought I was doing well on it, but I got so dizzy and my BP got too low last friday, so I skipped it over the weekend. Might switch to taking it with dinner vs. breakfast. I just spent over $60 for a supply of them so hate to call the Dr and get them changed if I don't have to.
So what is new with everyone else here? love, Josie
from IP address 24.210.130.148
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My son and I are having our fun day before school starts
by (Login schoolraider)On the diet front, I'm slowly adding back one food at a time to make sure I don't get that horrid eczema again!!! I'm also wearing gloves when washing fruits and veggies. Seems to be helping a bit.
from IP address 24.15.129.218
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Dealing with 11 yo triplets going to middle school for the first time LOL (m)
by Tiger Rats (Login TigerRats)2 oz boiling hot water (use microwave)
2 tablespoons French Vanilla Creamer powder (use sugar free or fat free if desired)
2 teaspoons instant coffee
6 packets Splenda or NutraSweet, or about 4 tablespoons sugar
2 oz Toroni (sp?) Vanilla or French Vanilla flavor sugar free syrup (I bought it at Bev Mo beverage store, but I've seen it at grocery stores in smaller bottles)
10 oz milk or vanilla soymilk
Crushed ice (2-3 cups or so)
For 2 drinks (note it's easy to halve the recipe):
Mix creamer powder, sweetner and coffee into hot water. Pour into blender. Pour in milk or soy milk and syrup. Add crushed ice and blend until thick. Top with whipped cream (fat free saves calories too!) if desired, drink thru straw. The girls love it!
Toroni (sp?) syrups are said to be the best and come in many regular and sugar free flavors . . . .
Tigs
from IP address 76.175.7.201
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We have a number of the Toroni SF flavors and use them to make shaved ice drinks. (m)
by Deb (Login JustDoItDeb)Deb
~My niece and I on her 5th birthday~
AND WE ARE SO WORTH IT!
from IP address 76.212.178.98
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just working....
by (Premier Login awilson7)moderators
I have been debating doing more exercise and how to fit that in. It needs to be done. I feel so blobby. Eating has been ok but not great, yesterday was on track except for this one treat that was probably overboard. I let myself get too hungry
.
Tonight I go meet a young man we're talking about bringing home. He's an 8yo blue persian. He's beautiful
. Wish us luck! Angel RN
Tommy 13 in July, gasp
Ozzie 11yo sweet boy
coffeewilson at hotmail dot com
from IP address 72.86.125.8
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Hi Adie, Tigs and Angel, (Maaj: I know you are out there too!)
by (Login JosannaJava)I don't do well with disappointment and I thought we were all set to go back to the boat this weekend, but logical hubby (so funny as I am usually the more logical one) pointed out weather wise not a smart choice, so I think we will head down earlier than we had thought next week. This is the more logical decision as time wise, 7 hrs in the car, and the price of gasoline, just makes more sense to make 1 trip and stay for more days than to go down 2 times.
So hubby choose Max/Ermas in Columbus to eat at today. I guess I can survive that one.
Tigs: that coffee recipe sounded good but since I am the only coffee drinker in the house, just more time and effort than lazy me wants to put into it.
Angel: do you have a name for your new kitty?
have a great day ladies, love, Josie
from IP address 24.210.130.148
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his name is Titan....
by (Premier Login awilson7)moderators
Angel RN
Tommy 13 in July, gasp
Ozzie 11yo sweet boy
coffeewilson at hotmail dot com
from IP address 72.86.125.8
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Hi Angel, Tigs, Josie and everyone! I love Persian kittys and (m)
by Maaj (Login Maajida2)from IP address 76.103.169.169
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hey Maaj...
by (Premier Login awilson7)moderators
and a big love, wanting to be scratched and held and cuddled. THe boys are super excited about Titan. Angel RN
Tommy 13 in July, gasp
Ozzie 11yo sweet boy
coffeewilson at hotmail dot com
from IP address 72.86.125.8
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Hey, Angel....
by Maaj (Login Maajida2)from IP address 76.103.169.169
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When the subject is cats, you know I have to weigh in (pun intended) :P (m)
by (Login JustDoItDeb)![[linked image]](http://i277.photobucket.com/albums/kk56/SkittleKittyPics/TYCUDDLE.jpg)
When I was emotionally exhausted after my mom died, my cats gave me emotional support, with their unconditional love. That was when I first got Jason & Jessica. Before I moved from there, I had also acquired Redford. J&J were bro/sis, long haired black cats. Jason was huge and Jessie was a petite little thing. Redford was a flame-point Siamese, with orange-red markings on creamy-white fur and big blue eyes. Eventually I added two more cats, Amanda and Tyler, making the JJ-RAT Pack! I started at a place where I couldn't handle opening up to other people and the cats helped so much in making me feel loved. I highly recommend them as "therapy" animals! Hope you and your boys have a terrific experience with Titan, Angel!
Deb
P.S. That's Tyler up top.
~My niece and I on her 5th birthday~
AND WE ARE SO WORTH IT!
from IP address 76.212.178.98
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So on the death certificate
by (Login schoolraider)So basically, whoever in that office fills out the certificate for the doctor to sign...obviously this guy never looked himself, actually pulled my ****MOM'S**** chart and filled in the date the doctor last saw her and read the material in my ****MOM'S**** chart and filled in from her chart coronary artery disease.
So in we go to the doctor to talk with him. He went over all the tests explaining that my dad's liver failed as a result of the long action of hepatitus C which caused my dad's kidneys to fail. So I asked him, so my dad died of liver/kidney failure...he said yes. So I handed him the copy of my dad's death certificate and said that the information there was wrong, namely the date last seen alive was the last appt he had with my mom and the cause of death is what my mom has...so his office probably pulled my mom's file instead of my dad's. We had the office pull both fills. He was visibly upset. He admitted it was wrong.
The other thing I found out was that the particular way he was building all that fluid in his abdomen was a sure sign that the organ systems were failing in a terminal way. He said that given that situation and my father's history there was absolutely no reason for them to perform any of the other tests because at that point they should have told us we needed to switch to comfort measures because my father was going to die.
He also said that no one notified his office of the death...like hospice or the hospital or whoever. I know my sister called his office. That he did not know what was going on with my father until he received the reports after the fact. I find all this hard to believe.
So I'm going to wait for all the bills to be paid by medicare and ins. and my mom to get all her records moved from this doctor to the new doctor, then I'm filing complaints.
My conclusion about the health care system is that we are now like cars that are dropped off to be fixed by whoever. There is no more continuity of care. If we want continuity of care...it's our job now as the patient and family to oversee our case, make sure all medical professionals are coordinated...even though we have no formal training in medicine. Nice.
from IP address 24.15.129.218
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And
by (Login schoolraider)from IP address 24.15.129.218
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Food is fuel for your body, it's not a friend, not an enemy (m)
by (Login TigerRats)Here I sit, weighing the options "getting the sushi roll will take time, cost money" but "eating the Smart Ones entree could feel depriving, could cause me to go into a binge mode later" and wondering why it all has to be so difficult. It's like "analysis paralysis."
Food is simply fuel for my body. It is not a friend to comfort me when I am upset (I happen to be a little upset right now). It is not an enemy (think anorexia, or in my case, depriving oneself or under-eating). It is simply fuel. Sure, there is some pleasure in eating something that tastes good, feels good in your mouth, and looks good on your plate . . . perhaps feels self-indulgent, as if you're rewarding yourself . . . darn, it's so hard to know what to do!
My body looks a little better. I'm encouraged! But I still spend a lot of energy dealing with FOOD. Darn it!
Tigs
from IP address 76.175.7.201
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as I sit here in fat shorts I'm at a loss...
by (Premier Login awilson7)moderators
I obsess about food too much too, and then I don't think enough, just allowing my eyes, my wallet, whatever to rule. Today I made some ahead of time meals so that I'm not stopping short on days when I work. Stuff like seasoned rice with chicken and broccoli.
Dealing with lots of food related emotions right now, things I've eaten over in the past. Working hard to not repeat old behavior. I am woman, I am beautiful, I can deal with anything with the Lords help.
Angel RN
Tommy 13 in July, gasp
Ozzie 11yo sweet boy
coffeewilson at hotmail dot com
from IP address 72.86.125.8
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Ooh Blizzard! That's one of my fantasy foods . . . I like the Oreo one, and (m)
by Tiger Rats (Login TigerRats)Back in the old pre-WW days, I used to occasionally have a Blizzard instead of lunch, that's how much I like 'em. And then there were all the Blizzards I ate that I really really didn't need to, as you point out.
I have a comment about comfy fat shorts. When you are really ready to do something, it's sometimes good to cast them off in favor of something new.
There were times I bought new things and beat myself up because then they became too big, but I am convinced that without those new clothes, I wouldn't have been able to dig in and make progress.
This time -- and keep in mind we were only talking about 10-15 lbs -- this time when I decided to lose, I first bought some new workout clothes. They rapidly became too large. But I told myself it was OK because I really needed them to get started, to get motivated.
On the flipside of things, I am having some problems with jeans. My body must have changed or something, because while a lot of things seem to fit, my old jeans do NOT and I am not sure why. Maybe it's that I'm still too flabby, or just a couple of pounds over where I want to be, say 2 to 5 lbs.
The old jeans I can fit into are thrashed and falling apart, and some have had to be retired.
SO I had to buy new jeans. I went to Kohl's and bought a pair of Lees; never thought I would buy Lees, and then I was reading reviews of them online and all the reviewers were like 50 or more -- well, what did I expect, I'm 49.
These are NOT jeans for a 20 year old.
Anyway my new Lees look pretty good -- not sexy, but they look nice -- on -- and they are SUPER comfortable, like you can't believe it comfortable.
Trying to tell myself they're not "mom jeans." That dirty word -- mom jeans.
What the heck, I am a mom.
I'm rambling, but the issues of comfort, style, sexiness, even size . . . in clothing . . . are complicated.
If you FEEL good in them, they're good. It's all about how you feel in the clothes.
Tigs
from IP address 76.175.7.201
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Insert (really mad face)
by (Login schoolraider)My dad never had ***any*** coronary artery diseas besides the fact that he died of ***LIVER AND KIDNEY FAILURE***.
So I called hospice and asked what they put as the cause of death. The hospice nurse who came to confirm the death put "advanced renal failure."
When my mom's records are out of that doctor's office and at the new doctor's office, I am soooo filing every complaint I can against this guy...who should not be practicing medicine. Here is the letter my sister wrote to him...she is on vacation...wow is she going to be upset when she hears about this latest thing:
Dear Crackerjack Box Doctor:
My father passed away on Wednesday, July 29. He came to Hospital on July 20, and after a few days there and a few days at home under Hospice care, he died.
I called your office today asking that you please call my mother, , to tell her how sorry you are that my father passed away. She had not heard from you since before my father went to the hospital.
In February this year, my dear Annie passed away. The morning after she died, her doctor called us at home to tell us how sorry he was. His office sent me a beautiful sympathy card with personal notes from the staff. Annie's eye doctor, who she went to once a year, sent me a sympathy card with wonderful comments about Annie. The staff at the special hospital who treated Annie sent me a card with personal notes of sympathy from the staff.
Who was Annie? Annie was my dog.
Sincerely, my ticked off sister
from IP address 24.15.129.218
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And
by (Login schoolraider)from IP address 24.15.129.218
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Death Certificates Suck
by Tiger Rats (Login TigerRats)I'm trying to understand what happened.
I still remember when my husband's death certificate came . . . it said "Ligature Hanging;" those words are still etched in horror in my mind.
He died of Major Depressive Disorder, which was nowhere on the certificate.
Death certificates are supposed to list the main or immediate cause of death and there is supposed to be a line for Due to, Due to, etc.
They do use them for statistical purposes, so, for example, if you put that the person died of Respiratory Failure and it says Due to COPD or Due to Lung Cancer or Due to Pulmonary Edema Due to H1N1 Pneumonia or something, that helps the people who keep the statistics figure out what's killing people in this country.
Everybody's heart stops when they die, so all deaths can pretty much be said to be due to "cardiac arrest" which is what a lot of death certificates say. But the cardiac arrest could be because of drug abuse (for example, Michael Jackson), potassium deficiency (Karen Carpenter, due to Bulemia and Anorexia), a heart attack -- which in and of itself could be perhaps due to coronary artery disease, yes, but if I have mild coronary artery disease that isn't bothering me and then I suddenly develop a bleeding ulcer and become severely anemic suddenly, all of a sudden I may die from coronary artery disease because I was doing okay with enough blood around, but without enough blood it suddenly was a problem -- the artery disease would not have killed me had it not been for the ulcer, and the ulcer wouldn't have killed me had it not been for the coronary artery disease, but together it was a deadly combination.
Now what if my coronary artery disease was due to high cholesterol, or due to smoking, or due to diabetes . . . those things should be listed, too.
It gets very involved.
In this state, they seem to contact the primary care physician when somebody dies. Sometimes if I know the patient well I know why they died, but sometimes I don't know the exact details of exactly how and why they died.
In Ohio, they would ask the last doctor to see the patient to sign the death certificate, and they would ask the ER doctor even if the person was brought in already dead. I personally thought it made more sense to do it that way, since the last doctor to see the patient probably got enough history about the events leading right up to death that he or she could piece it together.
I know this discussion is somewhat horrifying but I'm trying to illustrate some of the pitfalls.
Death Certificates are far from an exact science, the pathologist often has the final say, and otherwise it's mostly educated guesses about what caused what.
Death just sucks all the way around.
I'm sorry you had this additional traumatic experience.
Hugs,
Tigs
from IP address 76.175.7.201
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Not sure what my state law is
by (Login schoolraider)My father had a big stomach resection in 1969 before all the other new stuff came out when people got ulcers. He had a stomach ulcer that perforated to an artery. They took out like 1/3 of his stomach and 10 inches of his intestines. From that point on there was no way he could assimilate enough fat for anything. His cholesterol was rock bottom. He never had any tests that came back as coronary artery disease (he also has a family history of great genes for this). Never had chest pains. The only time his heart stopped was in that 1969 surgery when he died twice, was resusitated and he had 26 blood transfusions til they could find the artery that was pumping blood out of him. He made it through things no one should every be able to make it through.
Knowing this particular doctor it was sheer laziness...like..well hmm...this guy was 87 must have been coronary artery disease...everyone has it in some minute form. There was no autopsy...he's already been cremated.
He and his partner established their practice in a high end suburb about 2 blocks away from the place where my parents live...a high end retirement community. He's been there for talks to the seniors trying to pad his practice with easy money.
He knew what was going on but didn't check the records...jerk.
Here's what some web research on this guy showed these complaints:
"My mother went to see Dr Bartolomeo for many many years at least 10.She complained to him for over 5 months about back, chest, rib cage pain for which he gave her vicodin. Turns out she had breast cancer that had moved into her bones.Because he did not try to figure out what was causing her pain she never had a chance and passed away 4 months after I made her go see my Doctor.Stay away he should not be practicing medicine,He tried to tell her she was just making it all up.Bad Doctor"
"Dr. Bartolomeo is a nice guy, however I just don't think he's that competent as a doctor. I went to see him because I had pink eye. I knew it was pink eye because I always get pink eye. But he told me it was allergies and prescribed me allergy medication. I took the medication against my better judgment and my condition worsened. I went to see an eye doctor and, sure enough, I had pink eye. That was the last time I saw Dr. Bartolomeo. I went back to get my paperwork and records for my new doctor and it was IMPOSSIBLE working with his staff. They told me they had thrown away my records (ridiculous) but after many, many phone calls they managed to retrieve them. In short, I would not recomment Dr. Bartolomeo to anyone. "
You get the picture.
I'm going to research the next doctor my mom picks...grrr.
from IP address 24.15.129.218
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And Tigs
by (Login schoolraider)Yes, cause of death can be so complex. It really was depression. Maybe if doctors put depression on death certificates then the agencies that collect data might take that illness more seriously.
Thanks again for giving me a more overall picture.
from IP address 24.15.129.218
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Oh dear. It does sound as if this guy could be lazy. (m)
by Tiger Rats (Login TigerRats)In my group there is relentless pressure for quality and we are observed, monitored and reported on in so many ways that it does tend to create a high standard. I'm grateful, I guess. But I know DBF in private practice also tries very hard to do a good job. I didn't respect him as a physician initially, but now I do. We laugh about how I used to think he was a quack!
Kinda going through some stuff myself right now, Adie, as my relationship with DBF solidifies and things move forward, it has a way of bringing back the grief from the loss of my husband.
I am so sorry your parents had a dorky doctor, and if it was laziness, the guy's sorry butt should be smacked. What a turkey, if he did that! Figured he was dead and didn't even look . . .grr!
Why not put cardiac arrest, then? Why Coronary Artery Disease? The guy may be not only lazy but a little dumb.
Jeez.
Tigs
from IP address 76.175.7.201
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oh my goodness, what a great letter!
by maaj (Login Maajida2)from IP address 76.103.169.169
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Working on finding out the source of the eczema
by (Login schoolraider)I'm now using food preparation gloves so my hands don't get exposed to any possible allergens and cuts out any chapping effect from my hands being in water washing all this produce. I'm using gloves for anything requiring water on hands like doing dishes etc. Only time my hands get wet now are in the shower and regular washing when needed.
And I'm adding back one food at a time to get back to the plan. So far I had only one day where I could have itched my hands off, but that was before I went back to the nearly one food at a time approach and added 3 things to that day >.< <br>
Hopefully in 2 weeks I can have everything restored without eczema. One thing is for sure: fat above 6-10 g a day = feel bad and maybe chest pains. I felt like 200% better on my eating plan (not including the eczema) so I need to fix this. So far my weight is remain stable so it's ok for this short period of evaluation.
But some of the chest pain thing is hard to figure out because I had been under such extreme stress during the hospice time and after--and that is pretty well my usual response to that.
I've had to do a lot of talking to myself kinda like: no matter what is happening you need to calm down or you will be in the hospital. I'm regularly handing worries back to the Lord a lot...I just can't do all this worrying about my mom, future stuff.
I've got the daily exercise routine back in place...whew.
So that's where things are at. Still working on the lower level..hopefully done by the end of the month..then next comes the painters/carpet. I will be so glad when all this is done.
from IP address 24.15.129.218
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Wow Adie, tough stuff involved in sleuthing out the cause of the eczema flare (m)
by Tiger Rats (Login TigerRats)The exercise should help, and it's what you say to yourself when you get those feelings that counts. Good job on the positive self talk!
Tigs
from IP address 76.175.7.201
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Confessing a 3 lb wt gain . . . YUCK . . . I have NO idea how that (m)
by (Login TigerRats)Really asking myself now if I've been playing fast and loose with the program ( a little) and what I need to do differently . . . came up with "exercise more, feel guilty about not exercising less" and "STOP eating ice cream novelties" (didn't I learn that first time, gaah!)
Onward and forward with renewed sense of purpose . . . progress, not perfection, to quote Maaj . . . .
Tigs
from IP address 76.175.7.201
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I haven't weighed in lately....
by (Premier Login awilson7)moderators
Just finished a great 3 day break with the kids. I got a sunburn. I walked with the kids one night for 45 min (slowly), then walked with walking buddy the next day. I tried to swim but it was so hot at the pool that it was mobbed and mostly I just bobbed up and down in the water, lol.
I have been allowing myself treats but trying to really limit the quantity. If we have ice cream after dinner I serve up decent sized bowls for others and give myself about 1/4 cup.
Rethinking things too, if I want to be 15 lbs lighter I'm going to have to change my behavior, right?
Angel RN
Tommy 13 in July, gasp
Ozzie 11yo sweet boy
coffeewilson at hotmail dot com
from IP address 72.86.125.8
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Yes, if you do what you've always done, you'll get what you've always (m)
by Tiger Rats (Login TigerRats)Ice cream is one of my HUGE food issues . . . I remember even in my 20's thinking if I'd never touched ice cream, I'd never have been fat . . . sobering thought!
It's almost a substance of abuse.
Heck, it IS a substance of abuse.
I think it's so awesome that you're getting some exercise (or at least a sunburn) with your boys.
Went down to the beach yesterday with my own soon-to-be-13 year old and it was a nice little trek, at least mom got a little walk in . . . .
It's hard to exercise when everybody needs us, but gotta fit in exercise wherever we can.
How's the new job going?
Tigs
from IP address 76.175.7.201
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Angel -- I like your attitude -- I too am going to make a promise to myself
by (Login laura_mom_atty)Laura
from IP address 206.194.127.112
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You would tell me not to sweat the "small" stuff
by laura (Login laura_mom_atty)Laura
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Hang in there, everyone...progress is seldom linear and (m)
by Maajida (Login Maajida2)from IP address 76.103.169.169
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rough day today....
by (Premier Login awilson7)moderators
Hope you all are well
Angel RN
Tommy 13 in July, gasp
Ozzie 11yo sweet boy
coffeewilson at hotmail dot com
from IP address 72.86.125.8
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Wow, Angel.....great job under stressful conditions.....(m)
by Maajida (Login Maajida2)from IP address 76.103.169.169
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Sending hugs Angel.............
by JosannaJava (Login JosannaJava)Hubby received text from his 36 yr old daughter as she only calls when she doesn't get what she wants from the texting. Anyhow, she has decided to leave her husband, again; so send LOTS of money!
I really need to pray on this one as I am NOT doing without so a 36 yr old and her 2 kids can have every gadget known to mankind. We would never let her go hungry, but should I go without so she can have ever longberger basket there is????
Do kids EVER grow up and become totally self sufficient? I don't remember expecting my parents to support me when I was in my 30s?
HELP!
Oh well, Angel, take care, trust in God, take it one day at a time. Love, Josie.
from IP address 24.210.130.148
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i don't know...
by (Premier Login awilson7)moderators
Angel RN
Tommy 13 in July, gasp
Ozzie 11yo sweet boy
coffeewilson at hotmail dot com
from IP address 72.86.125.8
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Hi Angel.............
by JosannaJava (Login JosannaJava)He claims he won't give her much, and has agreed NOT to co sign for squat as she has burned us before on that one.
I guess we know her plans and maybe her Mom and no one else. As we saw her 15 yr old son yesterday and he mentioned about staying home next winter when they have snow days. He has been living at my step sons, aka his uncle's all summer as my step daughter's second husband isn't very nice to this son. And what a tangled web I am writing about.
Anyhow, last night my husband saw her with her husband and her younger son all at the drag race acting like nothing was up. So not sure her husband knows she is plotting to leave him, again.
Just praying it all works out. But when I heard 2 of them got the new pricy touch screen cell phones, yes, I was bitter! I don't have that high tech of stuff.
Angel: I hope you are doing better and better each day, take care, love, Josie.
from IP address 24.210.130.148
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ya know....
by (Premier Login awilson7)moderators
I think your dh's heart is in the right place, but people will take advantage of that every time.
Angel RN
Tommy 13 in July, gasp
Ozzie 11yo sweet boy
coffeewilson at hotmail dot com
from IP address 72.86.125.8
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Oh yuck! It sounds as if just the stress of the situation alone (m)
by Tiger Rats (Login TigerRats)Hoping you can distance yourself from the aspects of it that you can't control (most of it) and that your hubby will make reasonable decisions that honor his marriage as well as his daughter's needs.
In positive news, at least out here, iPhone is now available in a $99 model, touch screen and all. DBF just got one. It's very cool.
Wishing peace and serenity for you.
Tigs
from IP address 76.175.7.201
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Sending hugs also
by (Login schoolraider)I believe your children are comforted during this time by your consistent devotion to them and in the future will remember you always being there for them no matter what which is a pearl of great price, you their mom who continued to make choices that will benefit them no matter how hard that is.
((((aw)))))
from IP address 24.15.129.218
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((((((((((Angel)))))))))) (m)
by Tiger Rats (Login TigerRats)Way to honor your healthy body! Let's face it, you need your strength, serenity and sanity to get through this . . . walking makes you stronger and ice cream just makes you wider . . . .
Tigs
from IP address 162.119.64.118
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I'm doing pretty well today, just up too late again. DFR is out of town (m)
by (Login JustDoItDeb)I saw the diabetic nutritionist yesterday and she is also supportive of the alkaline diet I'm transitioning to bit by bit. I need to find veggies that I can eat happily or it will never work, as 75% of plate s/b veggies. Nutritionist proclaimed the reduced red meat a success, but pointed out that I wasn't eating that many veggies. Not sure if breads/starches or milk products are going to prove the hardest for me to control in the long run. Choosing not to tell DFR what I am trying to avoid anymore, I'll just say no thanks or simply not eat it. I can try goat's milk; I got a goat's milk Brie and that was about the same as cow's milk, taste-wise.
Off to lay down, hugs to everyone.
Deb
~My niece and I on her 5th birthday~
AND WE ARE SO WORTH IT!
from IP address 76.212.178.98
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sounds like you are finding some balance and (m)
by Maajida (Login Maajida2)from IP address 76.103.169.169
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I have tried to be very creative lately in adding veggies to my life, (m)
by (Login TigerRats)Vegetables, with their high content of vitamins, fiber, water and minerals, and relatively low calories are our friends in this battle.
Do whatever ya gotta do to get the veggies in!
BTW the more I eat out, the less I seem to lose. In fact, despite thinking I was on program, I am very sad to report that during the time my parents have been here (and we've eaten out a few times at very nice restsaurants) I've GAINED 3 lbs! I am actually pretty upset by this and plan to do better.
Have you identified some restaurants where you can eat out and their menus support your healthy lifestyle . . . or they will prepare foods for you that support your healthy lifestyle?
I like having a list of safe places and plan to go back to that after my folks leave today . . .
Tigs
from IP address 162.119.64.118
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Striking a blow for fitness this morning (m)
by (Login TigerRats)It feels good to exercise!
Tigs
from IP address 76.175.7.201
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Go, Tigs, go......you're doing great!
by Maajida (Login Maajida2)from IP address 76.103.169.169
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Planning for success -- two real tough workdays ahead, so I'm up (m)
by Tiger Rats (Login TigerRats)If you fail to plan you plan to fail, so the opposite must be true, right?
Tigs (hopefully)
from IP address 76.175.7.201
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As I return to work, these are good things to think about....
by Maaj (Login Maajida2)from IP address 76.103.169.169
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I discovered something about binge eating
by (Login schoolraider)The other thing I've thought about lately is how caregiving over the years had eliminated nearly every way I could do something fun or nice for myself and not be interrupted. So food became the only source of fast pleasure that could not be interrupted.
So if I ate a piece of chocolate, and something fell apart like my son had a meltdown out of the blue, I could still finish the chocolate and not have the experience interrupted as I tried to calm my son. Everything else could be interrupted: watching a tv show, reading a book, doing a craft...you name it.
Eating and staying up late a night when the guys finally went to sleep was the only way I could have a small piece of uninterrupted happiness. I just got to the point early on that being interrupted was too disappointing and depressing so I just stopped everything: getting out, crafts, music, everything.
Since a lot of my diet now is blended/liquids and my son and husband are a lot more stable, I'm trying to change my life to include things that gave me pleasure before that are not food and things that calmed me down that are not food.
I'm working on trying to figure out how to manage my day to include myself in there...instead of only saying yes to myself for food...if that makes sense.
I'm finding that staying on track takes a lot of reflecting on how I got here to begin with and making changes for the better that are not necessary food/exercise related. I've found it helpful to think of eating/binging in the frame of staying sober regarding the behavior and staying away from specific foods/environments that will trigger the binge.
from IP address 24.15.129.218
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what meaningful words you wrote.....(m)
by Maajida (Login Maajida2)from IP address 76.103.169.169
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Oh it makes Perfect Sense. I never thought about the "can't be interrupted" (m)
by (Login TigerRats)But I sure have thought about how food has been the only gift and pleasure and comfort I've allowed myself, so many times . . . it becomes a conditioned response.
I'm SO delighted for you that you've found a way to head off the binges!
And also of course that your son and husband are more stable.
I know you've been through so much lately (understatement) and to be so grounded and so able to quickly refocus on your own health, sanity and serenity . . . heck, your own sobriety, is just wonderful and amazing.
My own battle against binge eating has been a little different (I think they all are different) but I'm having success with WW against binges by simply counting the extra points when I get that "binge feeling" and I find that counting the points actually helps to assuage the guilt, and seems to reduce the binge behavior, corrall it so I can still make progress.
The binges are SO toxic.
Right on, Adie!
Tigs
from IP address 76.175.7.201
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and another take on the issue of 'can't be interrupted"
by Maaj (Login Maajida2)from IP address 76.103.169.169
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Help me -- I can just erase the bad eating yesterday, right?
by (Login laura_mom_atty)from IP address 206.194.127.112
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Waves wand of absolution :)
by (Login schoolraider)Yep! Today is a new day! Thank heavens we don't have access to the past to continually redo each and every day! Yikes! I think I'd still be working on how to learn to walk absolutely correctly!
I like to look at days like that as either a way to trick my body into believing it is not in a famine OR something to get the pressure off of staying on track all the time.
I'm just now getting my eating back on track after weeks of all that chaos with my dad in hospice and 24/7 pressure and no daily schedule...no refrigerator that is mine with my food in it, not my kitchen..you catch the drift. The outcome of all the restaurant chaotic eating was just 3 pounds that I can take off in about a week so I'm just grateful it wasn't worse!!! I know I really should be like 12 pounds ligher if I stayed on track, but given the uproar in my life, I'm thankful I pretty much stayed the same.
I think you are really a goal oriented on task person, so this was just a like a little trip over a small stone in your eating plan marathon
from IP address 24.15.129.218
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And you too, the 3 lbs is a blip, a little trip over a small stone for you, (m)
by (Login TigerRats)((((((((((Adie))))))))))
Tigs
from IP address 76.175.7.201
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My advice -- track it anyway, to the best of your ability. just track it. (m)
by Tiger Rats (Login TigerRats)What inspired me was a woman at my meeting last week who was almost 50 points over for the week and STILL lost.
I'm still going to come in "in range" or "OP" this week despite the fudgsicle/dinner out episode over the weekend, but it makes me feel calmer to know that I still tracked it.
In days gone by, I would binge eat and just try to "re-set." That doesn't work. Now I just track, even when I'm doing badly, and it's working better.
Slowly, but better.
Just keep tracking, it'll work out. Progress, not perfection. One day at a time, no guilt, and move on.
Tigs
from IP address 76.175.7.201
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Such wise and wonderful words......really helpful to....(m)
by Maajida (Login Maajida2)from IP address 76.103.169.169
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How are you doing Adie? Thinking of you and sending warm wishes for (m)
by (Login TigerRats)Love,
Tigs
from IP address 162.119.238.162
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thinking of you too and.....
by Maajida (Login Maajida2)from IP address 76.103.169.169
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Still ups and downs here
by (Login schoolraider)My mom was comforted by what you were saying, Tigs, about how it takes some time to get through the grief when there are unresolved difficult issues.
She seems to be more settled and less afraid of being on her own. My son and I took her out to lunch today. She said that it occurred to her that she had been on her own a lot over the years because my dad often traveled out of town four to five days of each week. When we girls had moved out and he was still working, my mom said she was on her own a lot when he traveled. So this realization seemed to make her feel a lot better.
I took my dad's sweaters...lots of very nice ones...to wear this fall. We are about the same size and the sweaters are new and very nice...ones I can wear in the fall and winter. So that is good. My hubby could use his brand new socks. My dad had a lot of clothes that he hardly had worn at all.
I'm back to working on getting everything out of the lower level. I'll be so glad when this is done. I'm going to keep at getting rid of everything we don't use it even after the lower level is done. I want to make sure that I keep our possessions way down to only what we need/use so when the time comes, there will not be any trouble with dealing with stuff.
I'm also working on getting and keeping all paperwork affairs in order too. I'm almost finished with completing all the paperwork changes associated with the special needs trust for my son.
Last night was the first night I didn't have to take my typical allergy dose of benadryl to get sleep. Every now and then things hit me the wrong way and I start crying. Just holding my dad's sweaters made me cry...but I got over it. I try to attach happy memories to things that remind me of him.
Anyway, I'm off to bed. Hospice sent some stuff but I haven't opened it yet. Maybe tomorrow.
from IP address 24.15.129.218
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Good to get your update....you're doing great.......
by Maajida (Login Maajida2)from IP address 76.103.169.169
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Be gentle with yourself. You don't have to get it all done right away. (m)
by (Login TigerRats)Widownet.org contains an "ambivalent grief" forum on their bulletin board that might interest your mom. It has a space for people who were married to an alcholic, addict, rage-aholic, bipolar, chronically depressed,personality disordered or other mentally ill person, or for people who had very conflicted marriages where there were complicated mixed emotions around death.
I hope your mom finds peace too.
It's a process.
Tigs
from IP address 76.175.7.201
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Adie, I posted a long message down below for you....nt
by (Login JustDoItDeb)
~My niece and I on her 5th birthday~
AND WE ARE SO WORTH IT!
from IP address 76.212.178.98
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Things you can fix up in a hurry that are healthy (m)
by (Login TigerRats)Tonight for dinner we had tostadas . . . listen to how we do this, and eat 3 tostadas for 6 points!
I buy tostada shells called "Sanissima" which are made in Mexico and are very low in fat. I have to go to this "Northern Market" Mexican store to buy them, but they are worth the trip. So yummy and 3 of them are only 2 points.
Spread the shells with some fat free refried beans. They come in regular, zesty and chile lime -- IMHO chile lime are the BEST.
At this point you can either melt shredded cheese on top (microwave for 30 sec with the cheese on it) or you can pile on shredded lettuce, chopped tomatoes, salsa, cilantro, chopped onions, taco sauce, fat free sour cream, 2% cheese, etc. I use the WW packets of shredded cheddar that are 2 points per packet. Avocado and olives can be added if you can spare the calories. Heck you can even put meat on em!
These things are so easy and good for lunch or dinner.
Other fun things to do with lowfat tostada shells include spreading them with Laughing Cow Lite Cheese. I find that 1 wedge of Laughing Cow Lite can be divided to cover 3 tostadas, for a grand total of 3 points.
The darn things have such a nice, clean taste I am almost wondering if you could have them for breakfast with cream cheese and jam . . . .
Tigs
from IP address 76.175.7.201
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Good morning, everyone. Tigs, those are great suggestions &.....
by Maajida (Login Maajida2)from IP address 76.103.169.169
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I think when you start to feel bored by your food, or deprived by your (m)
by Tiger Rats (Login TigerRats)I am always looking for ideas to expand the variety of things I can eat
One thing that's helped me a lot has been 60 calorie pudding snacks. I haven't tried the 70 calorie rice pudding and creme brulee flavors (though both appeal) because it would be TWO points instead of ONE. Sometimes I think about how ridiculous that is for 10 calories, and then I remember I'm doing WW and not counting calories and this is a quirk of the program and if I play it fast and loose, I'm not playing by the rules.
Someday I'm going to spend the extra point though and see if they are any good!
Tigs
from IP address 162.119.238.162
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YOu forgot the tapatio!!! LOL
by Laura (Login laura_mom_atty)from IP address 206.194.127.112
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Run, don't walk, to Ralphs and buy some Evolution Mango Salsa (m)
by Tiger Rats (Login TigerRats)Put a little shredded cheddar on that tortilla and microwave 30 sec. Then roll it up with mango salsa inside. Yum! Mango quesadillas! 3 of these are an awesome breakfast for 4 points.
Tigs
from IP address 162.119.238.162
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ACK! Two hungry days in a row! Hate em! Hate those hungry days! (m)
by (Login TigerRats)Grr! I hate it that I've dipped into my slush fund so deeply so early this week, and I hate it also that I've been SO hungry these past 2 days.
Tomorrow I'm going to try to spread out my calories/points better and avoid hunger, which is dangerous.
H-ungry
L-onely
A-ngry
T-ired
HALT!
Tigs
from IP address 76.175.7.201
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Yes, me too, and that saying is so meaningful......
by Maajida (Login Maajida2)from IP address 76.103.169.169
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Yes . . . Thursday and Friday were tough days at work and I got behind and (m)
by Tiger Rats (Login TigerRats)Tigs
from IP address 76.175.7.201
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balance....baby steps....you're doing great!
by Maaj (Login Maajida2)from IP address 76.103.169.169
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Getting a grip on my paperwork for work; I have to say the longer I do this (m)
by Tiger Rats (Login TigerRats)I remember before I joined WW I was doing okay but snacking a lot and binge eating too much and too often.
I was frustrated that I wasn't losing, but in my heart I knew why.
Now if I don't lose, at least for now, I'm gonna keep doing what I'm doing. Obsessing about this journey just makes it harder on me.
That's how I see the scale now.
Hope this helps,
Tigs
from IP address 162.119.64.118
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your wise perspective helps a great deal......(m)
by Maaj (Login Maajida2)from IP address 76.103.169.169
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Every night and day, the same dilemmas . . . but I'm slogging through. (m)
by Tiger Rats (Login TigerRats)Going to bed right now where there STILL is no food!
We can do this!
Tigs
from IP address 76.175.7.201
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Tigs: Thanks for sharing the HALT...........
by JosannaJava (Login JosannaJava)We started a new chapter in our lives in that we just spent our second weekend on our boat in Lake Cumberland at the one marina. We changed boats, got one that is big enough to also use as a camper, so have spent the past 2 weekends on it. Will probably skip this upcoming weekend, then I have 2 weeks off from work, so probably trek down there 2 or 3 times during that period.
I did make better food choices this time, and packed healthier foods. I still have room for improvement but doing more good things than bad things.
Maaj: I hope you had lots of good R/R this summer.
Tigs: I loved reading you say that you love your boyfriend.
Angel: I hope you don't have to continue to juggle 2 jobs.
Deb: baby steps add up.
and waving HI to anyone else reaing this.
see ya, Love, Josie.
from IP address 24.210.130.148
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glad to read your checkin...doing more good things....(m)
by Maaj (Login Maajida2)from IP address 76.103.169.169
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I like your healthy plan for your weekends at the boat, and (m)
by (Login TigerRats)It's been fun on WW finding things everybody will eat that I can eat, too.
Tonight we had tostadas; I buy Sanissima low fat tostada shells (3 shells for 2 points!) and top with fat free refried beans, 2% cheddar cheese, salsa, cilantro, onions, low fat sour cream, taco sauce, etc. Big crunchy messy fun for few points. The low fat tostada shells are also good with Laughing Cow Lite cheese -- one wedge covers 3 shells and makes a great breakfast.
I'm having fun with it; it really helps to have the babysitter on board too.
So I hope you are able to have fun and not feel deprived.
Tigs
from IP address 162.119.64.118
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Aw, thanks so much, Josie! Determined to baby step to the gym tonite! (nt)
by (Login JustDoItDeb)
~My niece and I on her 5th birthday~
AND WE ARE SO WORTH IT!
from IP address 76.212.178.98
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hey, where is everybody?? Checkin please?
by maajida (Login Maajida2)from IP address 76.103.169.169
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trudging along.......
by (Premier Login awilson7)moderators
that's about it. The past few days have been more on track, grateful for that
Have a good back to school time, Maaj. How's dd doing with nursing school?
Angel RN
Tommy 13 in July, gasp
Ozzie 11yo sweet boy
coffeewilson at hotmail dot com
from IP address 72.86.125.8
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Oof! Fighting binge fantasies after a splurge dinner at a really nice restaurant for (m)
by Tiger Rats (Login TigerRats)Had utterly delicious roasted salmon over greens with roasted figs and goat cheese (I know this sounds disgusting but it was fabulous) and some kind of sauce that I can't describe at all, but it was yummy. DD tasted it and said there was wine in it. It also tasted as if it had broth in it. Oh yeah and some butter LOL.
I didn't eat the bread or potatoes, that's the good news, and somehow avoided dessert or even a latte, going for black coffee. But I am just CRAVING chocolate; if somebody put a box of Godiva in front of me now it would be all over LOL.
Oh boy that salmon was good!
I had a really nice time actually. I love my boyfriend (when did you ever think you'd hear me say THAT LOL?) and life is really pretty good.
And I'm way behind in my work, but right now I'm glad I didn't binge (just overate) and I'm going to BED.
Tigs
from IP address 76.175.7.201
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Working on motivation right now (m)
by Deb (Login JustDoItDeb)I know what part of the problem is; several of my meds make me hungry, as in, my stomach literally hurts I'm so hungry. It's hard to ignore hunger pains that intense. I am currently trying to eat more fiber, hopefully that will help my meals 'stick with me' longer. The bonus is that more fiber may also help the IBS. That and I'm still trying to make exercise a habit.
I WILL be in charge of my own body!
Deb
~My niece and I on her 5th birthday~
AND WE ARE SO WORTH IT!
from IP address 76.212.178.98
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I like your positive attitude, Deb! And you will lose even if you cut your calorie (m)
by Tiger Rats (Login TigerRats)I have struggled with motivation this week too, I don't know why exactly . . . but I need to get serious, I'm SO close to where I want to be that I think my motivation is dwindling.
Let's get motivated!
Tigs
from IP address 76.175.7.201
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Ups and Downs
by Adie (Login schoolraider)My body is not reacting well to the whole hospice death thing. I get sudden panic attacks out of nowhere. I'm feeling extremely detached. I could just lay in bed all day, but I can't.
I smell anything with the softener smell that my mom used on their clothing (Bounce/Tide frangrances) and that brings up vivid memories of my dad looking skeletal labored breathing dying. This week I realized I had one piece of clothing I didn't wash to get the fabric softener smell out (my mom had to wash all the clothes including mine right after my dad died...I wasn't thinking about the softener fragrance...we use fragrance free stuff here) and the smell got in my laundry room and out into the hall and I walked by and smelled it and then all the memories flooded in. UGH I must call those bounce, tide people and get instructions on washing that smell out. UGH.
I called the hospice grief counseling person and all this is "normal"? I don't have time for this. My family needs me to be a caring connected mom...not someone with PTSD.
I am EXTREMELY angry with the doctors and hospital. They ran all sorts of tests and to this day NO ONE will give us the results. The hospital admin says it is the primary care doctor. No word from him. All passing the buck and no one stepping up to the plate to hand over the test results of all the tests they pushed on my dad making him worse because they absolutely needed a diagnosis...grrr. Yeah they won't have any trouble charging him/medicare for all these completely unecessary tests that put him through so much pain before he went home to die.
My mom and sister (the one who was there at the hospital) are seeing the hospital admin people this week. My dad had end stage liver disease from hepatitus C that caused liver and kidney failure...that was terminal...but they had to run all these tests for cancer etc. when he was going to die anyway...
I'm getting completely stressed out with the grief process my mom is going through: her husband who died was not very good to her at all but he was amazingly nice to all the other people in his life. So now my mom has to listen to people comforting her with "oh your husband was so wonderful" and she never experienced that...just the opposite. Holding hands and looking the part in public and yelling at her in private. She can't reconcile this and is very traumatized by it. I have no idea what to say.
My whole life even from being a child on my mom has leaned on us for support when my father was taking things out on her..psychologically. My whole life was one long attempt to protect my mom from the affects of my dad. Now, even though he is dead, her memory of him still torments her. My dad faithfully supported us, made sure she/they were moved into a marvelous retirement place, she has plenty of money to live there the rest of her life...he made sure of that. Yet, he constantly belittled her, yelled at her, etc. There is no way to make sense of this.
I don't know how to deal with this. It's making me nuts. Tomorrow I am going food shopping and getting back to my diet after the week at my mom's and all the uproar of running back and forth and memorial etc. I need to stay alive and calm for my son. I just need this body to stop all these panic attacks, and reactions to smells etc. UGH!
Hospice is like...well..you need to talk to people...who is your support system as in people on earth. Well...uh...I'm my support system...autism wiped out all my friends I can talk to physically here in my area... networks. If it wasn't for the internet and my son and hubby and the Lord, I would be completely alone. Good thing there are angels...
Ugh...whine whine whine whine whine whine... By God's grace my husband has a job, we are ok so far in this awful economy. I have much to be thankful for...I just want this whole helpless hospice horrifying dying experience aftermath to go away...right now...ugh.
I am relieved that my dad is with the Lord and is forgiven and being redeemed by Him and away from my mom so I don't have to worry about what he is yeling at her about etc. I am very traumatized by my mom's continued suffering even though he is away from her...this is trauma on top of the usual trauma of hearing her pained voice as she suffers with advanced osteoporosis...tons of pain with no pain medication that works.
So that is where I am at.
from IP address 24.15.129.218
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Having experienced loss myself and having studied widowhood and loss (m)
by Tiger Rats (Login TigerRats)It is heartbreaking the pain and also how you don't really have time to grieve, you need to get back to being normal immediately -- isn't that so typical for us women, we do everything for everybody, we don't even have time to be less than 100%, even when we should be.
About your mom's situation; that is a complicated grief. We call it "ambivalent grief" as you are sad for your loss, for everyone's loss, yet there are other things . . . sometimes a sense of relief that the difficult behavior is over and then of course guilt for feeling relief; sometimes a terrible longing for what might have been. Sometimes when a marriage was less than perfect and the spouse dies, the surviving spouse begins to grieve for the marriage he or she should have had, that he or she dreamed of, deserved, still believed somehow would happen . . . but it never did and now never ever can. This in addition to having to hear everybody talk about how great the departed spouse was . . . .
I was just so sad for all of you guys, just reading your post. About all the tests, do be aware that there might have been treatable things they were looking for -- I hope there were treatable things they were looking for -- but if none were found, and it became apparent he would die, that involving hospsice and him being at home was appropriate. I am so sorry you have those memories of him dying.
That, in a way I was spared when my husband died, but not really as I had to watch him deteriorate from the depression. It was kinda similar, KWIM and I hate to remember him like that, the way he was at the end.
Anyway Adie, sending out big hugs tonight and I know you'll be okay, you're one strong lady, but you've just been through so much and I'm sending wishes for comfort and peace for you tonight.
Just for now, how about you lay down some of the extra burdens like the economy -- let somebody else worry about that, K?
(((((((((Adie))))))))))
Tigs
from IP address 162.119.64.118
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Hi Adie........
by JosannaJava (Login JosannaJava)My Dad was a functioning alcoholic, died in 1993 when I was 37ish. My Mom is still alive, and he was verbally abusive to ALL of us, myself and my 2 sisters and my Mom.
But now at 86.5 years old, Mom remembers Dad like he was a saint.
I have been in therapy for most of 7 years. 2 years ago I did indepth trauma therapy on Dad and childhood.
Some people bounce back and can "forget" the crap some parents did, but I was one of the ones that it was effecting ALL of my life and if I hadn't gone into therapy, I would probably not be alive or else be stoned on anything I could find to take.
I would give yourself a few months and if you aren't progressing with the "typical" grief process, consider some therapy. You can screen therapists and if you want a quick grief version or if you want to uncover all the crap like I did.
I hope you can share with your husband and he can help be your watch dog of how you are doing.
take care, Josie.
from IP address 24.210.130.148
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Sending you many hugs and prayers...(m)
by Deb (Login JustDoItDeb)I think the best thing is to focus on your son & husband, as well as your relationship with God. Appreciate that He is your heavenly Father and that He can give you what may have been lacking in your relationship with your dad. You can't be responsible for your mom's feelings and memories. All you can do is pray for her, maybe pray with her too. You have your own feelings, etc. to deal with; bring them to God as best as you can. Give yourself some time, maybe just an hour or so a day, to feel your feelings and talk to God. Believe me, God can handle it all, even your anger, if you have some. I know you're busy, but surely people can understand your taking a little time for you at this point. Or take short breaks throughout the day; when you just can't handle it, pop off to the bathroom or bedroom for a short decompression session.
You might find music healing right now, too. It can keep your mind from dwelling on the bad stuff too much. Don't be ashamed for feeling relieved, either. When family is sick, it takes a big toll on your whole life. To have it be over is a relief and that is no reflection on your feelings for the deceased. In spite of it all, I did love my mom deeply and had to think it through when I felt relieved following her death. It doesn't diminish love or hate, it's just a natural response to the fact that the worst is over.
I'm sure there are a lot of people praying for you; know that I am too. Let God touch you with the healing in His wings.
![[linked image]](http://i277.photobucket.com/albums/kk56/SkittleKittyPics/gifs%20and%20jpgs/Rose-Praying4U.jpg)
Many hugs,
Deb
~My niece and I on her 5th birthday~
AND WE ARE SO WORTH IT!
from IP address 76.212.178.98
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healthy day yesterday....
by (Premier Login awilson7)moderators
I dislike how my clothes fit currently and I would like to change that. I also ended up walking with walking buddy last night, 4 miles after working on my feet for 8 hrs. My dogs were barking, lol but the mental health benefits were so good!
Hope everyone is doing well. Off to work again
Angel RN
Tommy 13 in July, gasp
Ozzie 11yo sweet boy
coffeewilson at hotmail dot com
from IP address 72.86.125.8
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You're doing great!
by Maaj (Login Maajida2)from IP address 76.103.169.169
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When you string healthy days together, you create a healthy life. (m)
by Tiger Rats (Login TigerRats)Also I have this issue with ice cream.
Sometimes I wonder what percentage of my points are spent on ice cream . . . .
Tigs
from IP address 76.175.7.201
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It's not just what & how much I eat, but the time of meals is (m)
by Maajida (Login Maajida2)from IP address 76.103.169.169
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Yes oh yes! I have to have breakfast, AM snack, lunch, (m)
by (Login TigerRats)I am using a lot of WW recipes, WW frozen meals and low point/no point snacks.
Today I am planning a low calorie chicken dish for dinner, and one point soup (with lotsa veggies).
We make liberal use of soups.
I frequently snack on steamed veggie with buttery spray.
I also eeat spinach tomato salad with spray on dressing -- almost no calories.
Vitamuffin muffin tops come in a sugar free variety that is like having a huge chocolate cookie for 80 calories -- you have to order these online. The regular Vitamuffin tops have 100 cal and come in more flavors, they're great too.
I have both of the Hungry Girl books (she has a lot on her website, too -- Lisa Lillien, she's amazing!) and she has a whole book of foods under 200 cal.
I frequently will snack on a yogurt (Light and Lively has improved their yogurts and they have a summer only watermelon flavor that's surprisingly good!) or 60 calorie pudding. In the refrigerator case are little tubs of pudding in wonderful flavors like dark chocolate, dulce de leche, creme brulee and rice pudding for 60 to 70 cal. The 70 cal ones unfortunately are 2 points -- bummer!
Another great snack is berry parfaits -- I use fat free whipped cream and any combination of berries and put them in a festive stemmed glass -- yum!
La Tortilla Factory smart and delicious tortillas are also helpful for quesadills and wraps.
For quick pre-workout breakfast bites, WW makes 2 point bars that are 130 cal -- you have to buy them in the meetings, though -- they don't sell them in stores.
Hope this helps!
Tigs (who's also always hungry, gotta eat!)
from IP address 76.175.7.201
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Thanks for the helpful suggestions.....(m)
by Maaj (Login Maajida2)from IP address 76.103.169.169
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Hypo-thyroid? WT heck? Call from doc two days ago, OT a bit
by (Login laura_mom_atty)xoxo
Laura
from IP address 12.50.67.2
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Super common Laura. You may want to find out if your thyroid is (m)
by Tiger Rats (Login TigerRats)Some people have borderline low thyroid function that can simply be watched, but if you have symptoms, you will want to be treated -- you'll feel better!
Tigs
from IP address 162.119.232.109
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scale goes up......
by (Premier Login awilson7)moderators
I walked yesterday at the park. Oh my gosh, my legs burned when I got up this morning. I didn't even push it, it was probably 45 minutes of walking. This is not a good sign, lol. It's a wake up call though that things need to change.
Off to church and to enjoy my day off. HOpe everybody has a good day.
Angel RN
Tommy 13 in July, gasp
Ozzie 11yo sweet boy
coffeewilson at hotmail dot com
from IP address 72.86.125.8
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Hi Angel
by Maajida (Login Maajida2)from IP address 76.103.169.169
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A journey of 1000 miles begins with a single step. At least you are (m)
by Tiger Rats (Login TigerRats)I am thrilled for you that you are going on day shift. That should actually help your sleep patterns and make your life way better. Is that the new job or the old one? Now you can start strategizing for your new life!
You've got a lot going on and need to be kind to yourself, but fitness actually helps you feel powerful and in control, so I think it is worth your effort if you are able -- strong muscles make a strong woman, and body confidence is good for your spirits.
Keep us posted!
Tigs
from IP address 76.175.7.201
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day shift is old job and new job....
by (Premier Login awilson7)moderators
Angel RN
Tommy 13 in July, gasp
Ozzie 11yo sweet boy
coffeewilson at hotmail dot com
from IP address 72.86.125.8
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BOTH? Wait a minute . . . 2 jobs? (nt)
by Tiger Rats (Login TigerRats)from IP address 76.175.7.201
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I'm sticking with the old while i train at the new....
by (Premier Login awilson7)moderators
Angel RN
Tommy 13 in July, gasp
Ozzie 11yo sweet boy
coffeewilson at hotmail dot com
from IP address 72.86.125.8
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Smart thinking, Angel.....(m)
by Maajida (Login Maajida2)from IP address 76.103.169.169
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Smart plan. My friend who has had a lot of jobs and who has done (m)
by Tiger Rats (Login TigerRats)Sometimes a place is difficult because of a supervisor who's difficult, or management that's difficult or co-workers who are difficult and you may not realize that til you work there a bit, or (as you found out before) they may expect you to do something completely impossible and unreasonable.
I think your plan is very wise.
Tigs
from IP address 76.175.7.201
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checkin & wanting to ask how you all handle alone time.....
by Maajida (Login Maajida2)I am doing 'ok'...hanging in there, trying to act in a way that honors my quest for emotional and physical health. I am finding that time alone is a mixed blessing and would love to hear your thoughts on this. I truly treasure time alone and having a quiet and peaceful house, at the same time I am challenged to stay on an even keel by former behavior that saw me having trouble coping with alone time without the filter of binge behavior to deal with feeling that put me out of my comfort zone. I'd love some opinions, support, coping skills, or whatever you might have to offer on this subject.
hugs to you all...hope it's a good weekend coming up for everyone. Love, maaj
from IP address 76.103.169.169
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Alone time . . . what to do with self! Gosh! Know how many times the minute I (m)
by Tiger Rats (Login TigerRats)I think the best way I cope with alone time is to enjoy it away from home, run errands perhaps, but one of my favorite things is to go to a cafe and sit down over coffee with just me, myself and I . . . aah! Or go shopping for clothes! (Clothes binge, LOL!)
I like to go to a bookstore and browse also, or to a library.
It's nice to be alone but I don't do well if I fill my time with chores.
Being alone is truly a binge trigger, because binge eating occurs in "secret" so when you are alone it is probably going to pop into your mind.
I think it has as much to do with pairing the concepts of being alone and overeating as it may have to do with filling unstructured time, being lonely or having any type of feelings about being alone.
Tigs
from IP address 76.175.7.201
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Oh my gosh, this came up just after roomies left and here I am w/ alone time! (m)
by Deb (Login JustDoItDeb)I lived alone for many years and I look back and am amazed at what I ate without thinking it was really bad for me! I would say that this is the most self-aware I've ever been. My most recent downfall has been donettes, those little donuts, chocolate ones. My fault entirely; I've gone to a grocery store specifically to buy them. And, yes I do want to cut back on bread, but I've obviously hit a snag. I did grab some Fiber One at Fresh & Easy and the donettes are gone now.
Yet, I do feel I need a certain amount of alone time for my sanity. It's not as strong a need as it was when I first started living with roomies again, though.
I listen to music, work online or watch TV when I'm alone. Sometimes I read. I oversee the cats, feeding them, getting them in before dark. Often the roomies eat out and I make my own dinner here at home. Sometimes like today, I'll sleep. Hope this helps someone on here; maybe it will help me, too.
Hugs,
Deb
~My niece and I on her 5th birthday~
AND WE ARE SO WORTH IT!
from IP address 76.212.178.98
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As I suspected, being alone in and of itself is a binge trigger (m)
by Tiger Rats (Login TigerRats)We've paired the "eating things we really like" reward with "being alone" so we can "eat in secret" except as we know it's no secret when it shows up on our hips!
Anyway, this is a valuable discussion; this has been such a bugaboo for me.
Tigs
from IP address 76.175.7.201
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such good dialogue...it's really helping...and....(m)
by Maajida (Login Maajida2)from IP address 76.103.169.169
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struggling with alone time.....
by (Premier Login awilson7)moderators
As for accountability, binges are never a secret. They filter into your attitude, crush your spirit and pad the thighs. Planned treats often work for me. Not always, things still get out of hand. But I'm trying to change the mindset that no one really knows, because they do.
Angel RN
Tommy 13 in July, gasp
Ozzie 11yo sweet boy
coffeewilson at hotmail dot com
from IP address 72.86.125.8
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My dad passed away yesterday in the early a.m.
by Adie (Login schoolraider)My dad was sent home from the hospital last Saturday because there was nothing more they could do. I stayed at my parents house from that day until now. Hospice came in right away and I worked with a nursing assistant and stayed and helped my dad and was able to keep him comfortable with pain medicine and a sedative (anti anxiety med also) all week.
He deteriorated very quickly. It was horrifying to watch my dad go from being a lively person to someone who looked like they had been in a WWII concentration camp. Hospice was as helpful as anyone could be given this circumstance.
It was a terrible soul killing experience to be able to only keep my dad comfortable while he was dying in front of my eyes and I could do nothing to stop it. Thankfully, though, the pain medication and sedating medication worked so I was able to keep him calm and out of pain. I was able to be with him when he died at about 12:10 a.m. Wed. which thankfully was peaceful. It happened so fast I didn't even have time to get my mom who was sleeping in the next room. My mom is 83 and in poor health so I was glad that Gene (my husband) was able to call his work and work from home to take care of Chris so I could be here to help my mom and dad.
What made this even worse was that I stayed with my parents which meant that my son was staying at home an hour away. We gave him the choice and it was good he stayed home but was also very very hard on him.
A few hours before my dad died I had run uptairs to my room to call my son just to chat and he started crying and crying being so stressed that I wasn't with him and at that point I didn't know when my dad would die and told him I wasn't sure when I would be back home. My son was extremely brave for himself all week but that was too much for him to take. I told him that I would call him about 12:00 a.m. so then he calmed down.
I went back down and stayed with my dad and at the time I was supposed to call my son, my dad was more distressed breathing very rapidly and I had to call hospice an get instructions on the medication--my dad was breathing fast from oxygen deprivation. So about maybe a minute after we gave him his usual dose of pain/calming meds, his breathing suddenly slowed and then he just breathed kind of a relaxing sigh and died.
I ran to get my mom but he was definitely gone at that time. My mom just started crying and crying and crying. All week she was crying every time she saw my dad...he looked so frightening skeletal and his breathing was so terrible sounding you could just cry looking at him... and my mom was crying that she wished that God would take him home so he could rest. Then when he died she was not at all relieved but sobbed and sobbed and cried even more.
With our wonderful nursing assistent holding my mom...I called my son because that was the time I said I would call him, and I had to be calm and just let him know I had some things to do there (did not tell him my dad just died) and talked a little to calm him down and then said I would call in a couple of hours meanwhile my mom is crying so much in the other room. Then I had to call hospice to get the nurse to come out to make the pronouncement and all that. Sigh. Thank heavens we had a good nuring assistant to support my mom while I had to make all the calls and getting people at the door etc. When the hospice nurse and chaplain arrived they were able to help my mom and knew exactly what to say to her to comfort her. They took time to clean up my dad, shave him and dress him so that we could spend a few minutes with his body with him looking more normal and at peace. That helped my mom. Then the undertaker took the body out after we went into another room.
I was also inside pretty upset (I needed to stay absolutely calm for my mom) that like 1 minute after we gave the medicine to my dad, he died. So as I was telling the story of when we gave meds and how much (the nurse had to measure and account for all the meds--these were serious narcotics--we kept a log) the hospice nurse looked at me and said: "Listen to me...you did not kill your dad by giving him that last dose of medicine. It just relaxed him so then he could let go." She knew just what I was worried about and reassured me right away without me even asking.
To let you know the kind of person my dad was, when my dad got home and settled and wanted to talk to me before he might lose conciousness he grabbed my hand and looked at me and said "Be strong". I thought he meant like physically strong because we were moving him. And he said "Look at me. I mean mentally, Be very strong." He knew how difficult the week was going to be and those were his last real words to me: trying to give me strength.
I know my dad intentionally did not eat and drank only a little water from sponges because he was determined to shorten the process in order to minimize the suffering my mom would go through watching the horrendous process of him dying. I didn't like this because of the suffering this caused him, but he was determined.
He was extremely brave and my dad and I worked together to keep him and others from suffering during this terrible awful week. He never complained...like why me...etc. etc. He was all about no complaining his whole life so this was no different. He was incredibly brave throughout the whole week.
Throughout all his life I have always admired how my dad met adversity with strength and never gave up. He and my mom were married 63 years. He made sure my mom was in a fantastic place when they moved here about 2 years ago so she would be cared for if anything happened to him first.
His memorial is Monday...I've been running around with my mom and sister to get things in order make the plans etc.
Everyone at the retirement place my parents live at were in shock since they had just seen him looking so alive, dancing with some at a party. He was just in a little television spot on the news here about his art and years of teaching at a senior center and then suddenly his liver failed more which caused his kidneys to fail. They found an inoperable blood clot in the middle of his liver so there was not fixing anything.
I'm coming back home for a few days to be with Chris and Gene and then to the memorial. Fortunately my other sister is coming in this weekend to take over being with my mom so I can get home and get some things done.
I just wanted to let you know what was going on. It's been very hard on me but I'm my father's daughter so no whining here but still the sadness can be very overwhelming...not that my dad died because it was a blessing he was suffering so much and I know he is alive and whole in heaven, but seeing him suffer so much though not conscious most of the time was absolutely soul crushing.
Thanks for listening. I still feel like I just stood there and did nothing to help him stop dying...it felt like seeing a person burning to death but being trapped and not able to help them. I couldn't do anything but take away the pain and help keep him calm/sedated while he dehydrated, was slowly poisoned because his kidneys weren't working and the liver either.
The last three hours I just sat with my hand on his arm and prayed that God would take him home because he was suffering so much although not conscious. He had so many life threatening health things in the past that I prayed for him so he would live. I felt so horrible to have no other option but to pray for his death and release into Heaven. I feel like I failed my dad somehow even though I did everything he asked...kept him out of conscious pain and being scared/anxious...kept him sedated as he requested.
Well I can't think about this now. I need to just get through the next few days and help my mom with everything.
from IP address 66.244.186.26
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Dear Adie, I know words cannnot say...(m)
by Maajida (Login Maajida2)from IP address 76.103.169.169
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Adie darling even though it's late I just have to share some words of (m)
by Tiger Rats (Login TigerRats)"I still feel like I just stood there and did nothing to help him stop dying...it felt like seeing a person burning to death but being trapped and not able to help them. I couldn't do anything but take away the pain and help keep him calm/sedated while he dehydrated, was slowly poisoned because his kidneys weren't working and the liver either."
What I hear in what you said was the feeling of powerlessness, so hopeless and anxiety-producing, like a bad dream, being out of control, uncontrollable things happening and you can't stop them or fix them or make them go away.
That's how death is. When it's your time, it's your time, and your dad knew that, he was a strong and noble person who wanted to leave this world as peacefully and quietly as he could, who didn't want everyone else to suffer . . . which of course they always do. How can you possibly lose a loved one without suffering?
Your words are vivid and it is easy to see how the whole process felt to you. But I would encourage you to see what you were able to do -- you were able to take away the pain, with medications, and keep him calm and sedated, with medications. And you were there.
When you ask people what they fear about dying, usually they don't want to die with important things undone -- unforgiven, or not having forgiven someone else, not at peace with God, not having made provisions for those who depend on them; they don't want to die in pain, and they don't want to die alone. And that's the main list.
Actually, dying from dehydration, and kidney and liver failure is not the worst death, as it makes you sleepy and so can be kind of like gently going to sleep. It sounds as if your father's breathing may have been labored, he may have seemed in distress, and that's what pain medication and sedatives are for and I do hope you don't feel guilty about having used them. Most people want to be comfortable. You have to use enough medication to keep them comfortable.
Taking off my professional and intellectual hat, I just want to tell you that of course as you know I am no stranger to loss, and grief, and guilt . . . and you were so there for me when I lost my husband, and I will bend over backward to be there for you.
Please tell us how we can help.
I'm so glad your husband was able to be there for your son, and the nursing assistant was able to be there for you, and you were able to balance his needs with your mom's and dad's and your needs and everything. I swear I don't know how you do it. I know you need to help and support your mom now, but please remember you too have needs and your needs are important because if nobody cares for you, how can you care for all those who depend on you?
So . . . please tell us how you can help and know that you did a good job . . . the best job you possibly could . . . you could not control whether your dad died, but you did your best in very difficult circumstances to hold it together for everybody concerned . . . now's the time to care for you.
Love and hugs going out tonight, and the prayers of the folks on the other board, 'cause I just let them know.
God grant you peace.
Tigs
from IP address 76.175.7.201
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Adie, I'm sure your dad is very proud of and grateful for you. Your presence allowed (m)
by Deb (Login JustDoItDeb)Wishing you peace of mind and heart,
Deb
from IP address 76.212.178.98
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My prayers are with you.................
by hollie (Login holliedu)Everyone on this board will be supporting you with thoughts and prayers. Let God carry you, he understands.
((((((((((hugs)))))))))))
Hollie
from IP address 76.125.155.138
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I am so sorry for your loss
by Laura (Login laura_mom_atty)Laura
from IP address 12.50.67.2
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