We tried off & on for about 10 years to have another, and at many times, I thought I was ok with not having any more. When I started to get in my late 30's, we finally decided to adopt. We were going to adopt a little girl from China, and had completed (and paid) for everything and were just waiting for our match. I woke up one day and decided I'd like to try DE even though I had not even considered the possibility before because I thought it was too weird. Surprisingly, DH agreed and we jumped into DE fairly quickly, thinking we'd continue with the adoption if/when it didn't work. It did work on the first try, and then I flipped out.
I flipped out even more when I found out it was twins. I thought surely it would ruin all of our lives, especially my son's. I was certain that there was no way I would love these babies as much as my DS. Part of me also felt very selfish for dropping the adoption of an orphan, and going this route instead. An extremely difficult, high risk pregnancy didn't help anything either. It was really one of the darkest times of my life.
Fast forward to now.... My girls are almost two, and are the lights of ALL of our lives! They couldn't be more mine, and I often get tears in my eyes just looking at how amazing they are. My DS loves them to pieces even though he swore he wouldn't, and they love him just the same. He's the first person they ask for when they wake up in the morning! I don't ever forget that we did DE, I just don't care, if that makes sense. I now know these girls were meant to be part of our family all along, even though it was a long and winding road to get them here!
Good luck to you. Considering my experience and the experience of others on this board, I'm sure you wouldn't regret moving to DE.
Suzi
