Not so opposed to spanking, but . . .February 6 2012 at 7:56 AM
|Maggie in VA (Login maggie1961)|
Response to Well, I'm going to be in the minority here
It doesn't seem to actually work for us. There is no level of physical force that you can in good conscience inflict on a toddler, at least my toddlers, that has any deterrent effect. But I've tried to stop doing it entirely, because the main behavior I want to curtail is hitting, and I've seen the confusion on their faces when I hit them to tell them it's wrong to hit, and it's too easy to do it out of frustration at their behavior. So, we've actually gone from a place where we were willing to spank to one where we try to avoid it as much as possible.
BBG, the point of avoiding battles of the will -- and I do have something of a problem with the "permissive parenting" label; the point isn't permissiveness, it's "effectiveness" -- is to avoid escalating conflict and wasting energy on unwinnable battles. Yes, you do eventually have to face off, but it's not something you want to do often or over mundane misbehavior when redirection (and, trust me, I'm the world's worst at that) and distraction will prevent it.
Maggie (in VA)
ETA: My boys were fascinated by the brooms and dustpans at the hairdressers, so we got them toy broom and dustpan sets for Christmas. If they scatter their Cheerios on purpose or throw food, I tell them to get their brooms or grab them and hand them to them, if they're nearby, and tell them they have to help me clean up. Now, the "help" is usually the opposite of helpful, but it makes me feel better that we're sending the message that they're going to be responsible for their messes.
|This message has been edited by maggie1961 on Feb 6, 2012 8:01 AM|