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Yes, a friend of mine & an acquaintance

April 11 2012 at 6:44 PM
Ariadne  (Login ariadne2)


Response to What are your thoughts on "incompatible" parent-child pairs?

 

I have no advice, but I know of 2 people IRL who report this experience.

My fairly close friend has 3 adult children (no fertility treatment) & she has said that from a young age, her youngest, a boy, evidenced a great dislike for her.

I think these things are complicated. My friend loves her children & I believe she made that abundantly clear. There are big boundary issues present, though. She puts up with being treated very poorly by her children. I feel confident in stating that she is not cold or unloving, but beyond that, I'm not sure what the dynamic in the house was. I do know of the boundary issues b/c they still occur & she talks to me about them. I also think that there was a lack of a united front between the parents. That son is 20 now & things are still very rocky. My friend believes her son has BPD, FWIW. Not diagnosed but she has more than average knowledge on the issue through her profession, although she's not a mental health professional.

It's hard for me to venture a guess as to how things might've been with clearer boundaries & less tolerance for being walked on. It's pretty bad, so I'm not talking about garden variety choosing your battles based on your kid's personality thing. And there is a family history of some mental health problems.

But yes, she has reported that from a young age, her son disliked her. Like age 2 or so.

I have an acquaintance who has said the same thing. Her child is still relatively young, though, so who knows how things will go.

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  1. There are a lot of factors to consider - BBG on Apr 11, 8:25 PM
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