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A really compelling thread for me (dark thoughts ment'd)

April 12 2012 at 10:54 AM
Maggie in VA  (Login maggie1961)


Response to What are your thoughts on "incompatible" parent-child pairs?

 

Maya, I would add that our family problems were compounded by the fact that I think, especially to the extent I was like my mother, that my sister and I were similarly incompatible. So, it was a really toxic triad, and I remember once coming to the conclusion as a young teenager that if I would just not get involved in my mother and sister's conflict, my life would be much better. And for about six weeks I did, and I was right, but I couldn't resist getting sucked back in.

What haunts me is the thought that Bob's remoteness to me might in some way be related to his donor conception. Does he at some deep, pre-ideation level understand that I am not his genetic mother? But I don't think Fred experiences the same thing; he just wants that annoying Bob thing to go away so that he doesn't have to share my lap.

The educator sent to work with Bob referred me to the book "The Out-of-Sync Child," and I'm presuming she thinks he's got some degree of SPD. But SPD sure seems to be the diagnosis du jour. On the other hand, he does exhibit some of the behaviors and characteristics the book describes. It seems stupid to have asked the county to evaluate them because you suspected something was wrong, then get upset when they confirm your suspicions. The nanny seems to really like the educator, though, and she used to work with Down Syndrome kids, so she knows something about developmental disabilities.

Take care,

Maggie (in VA)

 
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  1. Maggie, I have the same thoughts (see note to Kenny above) - BBG on Apr 12, 2012, 12:06 PM
    1. LOL! - Maggie in VA on Apr 12, 2012, 12:17 PM
    2. This may sound a bit flaky but I often wonder where my kid's spirits were for 13.4 yrs - BlessedThistle on Apr 12, 2012, 12:24 PM
     
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