Coming from a dysfunctional background and then having to have my children in such an "unnatural" way, I end up not knowing what's normal vs. what's a red flag, and then my insecurities get the better of me. I'm already afraid they will hate me because of DE/GS so when my inconsolable boy reaches away from me for his father to comfort him, my mind automatically goes to "oh, it's starting already!"
I had a therapist tell me once to challenge all my negative or scary thoughts, to argue with them. That's also the method espoused in a very popular book on fighting depression, but I can't remember the name of it now. So in that vein, I could think, well, I'm with them all day long, alone (usually) and I'm responsible for the majority of the discipline, so of course they are going to prefer DH The Fun Man to me. Plus, I have to combine playtime with chore time whereas when DH comes in, it is all just playtime. They do not EVER have to share him with his work, like they do with me and my housework and cooking. On those few occasions when I need to leave or do something and he takes over, I come home to hearing him yelling at them too! I must admit, I feel some gratification at that. Also they have no concept of DE/GS at this age so that can't be it. It's just my imagination.
But anyway it really helps to have someone outside the situation offer encouragement so thanks for that.