and it opened a wave of thinking on my part. You know, I really do think it's possible that some children--even when genetically linked--are just not meant to be together. It was certainly that way in my family, between my oldest sister and mother. My mom used to say that it started in the womb. She had a difficult pregnancy, very difficult birth and the days/months/years that followed were anything but easy. My sister left home as soon as she turned 18 and we didn't hear from her for 10 years. It pained my parents terribly and since I was only 10 when she left, grew up without knowing her as a person, let alone a sister. She would call periodically, asking for money. My dad always gave it to her, he tried not to judge her life and yet she refused to release the anger she felt towards them.
When I was a child, my only memories of her were full of volatile outbursts, anger towards my parents (mostly mom), spewing hatred and animosity every chance she had. There were serious issues and I hated the loud screaming, the drama, the slamming of doors and hysterical sobbing as she blasted her music. To this day, I cringe if I witness similar behavior. I felt so bad for my parents, who were basically good people. We were rather poor and my parents had a rather dysfunctional relationship which is another whole story in itself...but I remember being a child, wondering why my sister was so different from the rest of us and wondered why she was born into our family. My mom especially really seemed to ignite something in my sister that was toxic. I have zero memories of a loving gesture or word between them, maybe in part due to my mom...I was too young at the time to understand and be able to accurately answer the questions for "why" it was the way it was.
Lots more I could write, but need to go. Boys having a party in their room and they should be sleeping. Grrr... just wanted you to know that yes, I think you're on to something, and in the case of my sister & mother, that sour relationship is 60 yrs old and counting.