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Hmmm

April 13 2012 at 8:24 PM
Ariadne  (Login ariadne2)


Response to hello friends, how do I get DS to stop ignoring me?

 
Well, some of this is normal. We're dealing with it, too, & it makes dh nuts in no time flat. The dilly dallying & lolly gagging, etc.

To the extent you feel it's treading into the territory of defiance or setting a pattern for disregarding you, which I get the feeling you are, I would talk less & act more. happy.gif

Having the TV on is a biggie. We have it on in the a.m. while they eat breakfast & we are getting ready for work, as I imagine you may, too, but I will & do turn it off if ds #1 fails to follow whatever direction we've given him. At that point in the a.m., it's usually a direction to come to the bathroom or his bedroom after he's eaten & it's time to get dressed, brush teeth, & comb hair.

For other issues, which are less directly related to distraction like the TV, we just don't let him get away with it. Like your ds, mine will sometimes ignore questions about his day or what he did. (His teacher & others say this is normal - bummer it starts do darn young.) We stay on him, though. Dh or I, since we're usually together, will say, "Mom (or I) asked you a question." We just don't let him off the hook & if he persists, he can go to his room until he can be pleasant.

I think I would suggest just staying on him. Don't give up b/c that is teaching him he can ignore you. Set your limit. For us, we are OK with repeating ourselves or persisting 2 or 3 times, but then that's it. Do you do time out with him or will he sit in his room? Ds #1 will, although he usually goes sobbing. Sigh. Then we will go in & talk to him briefly.

I do think it's somewhat normal, but since you don't want him to learn or internalize that you can be ignored & disregarded, you can't just let it go b/c that is what he'll learn. Just ignore her & she'll go away eventually. LOL! You are deserving of his respect & attention, so don't be afraid to demand it. happy.gif

Depending on the situation, make the decision for him, too. If you're trying to ask him what he wants to eat & he ignores you, pick for him. Same with pjs, books, whatever. And then just be like, "You had a chance to make a choice & you ignored me, so this is what you're eating/wearing/reading." Calm, direct, no apologies.

So pick your battles. Choose for him when that fits, but also call him on it/don't let it slide when that fits.

JMHO.

B/c ds #1 is sensitive in nature, he's easy to discipline in general, but believe me, we're dealing with not listening & also some sassiness/tone issues, too. Repeatedly. The easy part with him is that he's sensitive to getting in trouble, but that doesn't stop the testing. He does that a lot. I do call him on it right way, though. "Excuse me?" with the evil eye works well for him. As does telling him not to speak to me that way & asking if I treat him that way. When the answer is no, I say that he may not treat me that way. I get that that might not work for every kid, but pick what does & act on it swiftly.

You fought hard for him, friend, & it's A-OK to demand he listen. That said, again, we're dealing with the same at times, so some of it is boys & 4 yr. old boys.

And #2's favorite phrase of the moment is, "No, mom," so this should be fun. wink.gif He's definitely more stubborn than #1 but since he's only 2, I'm forced to cut him some slack. LOL!

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  1. This is how we handle it - Kenny on Apr 14, 10:17 AM
    1. "toy jail" -- Love it! - sas on Apr 14, 12:30 PM
     
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