Hello and welcome to the pink AND congratulations
After a failures its hard to get excited that things are really happening. Feeling emotional and kind of all at sea is normal when you are first pg. Things settle down mentally. I"m a moody so and so when not pg but when pg I was content and generally just fine. So hang in there.
Its a hard journey we go on. Its no wonder we haven't got the instant burst of 'OMG I am pg'.
Just go about your business each day and let time tick by. As your tummy gets bigger it slowlly dawns on you 'yep I"m pg no denying it now'.
Enjoy your moments of contemplation. I know you are lonely and I can't blame you. We are all here either going through it or having gone through it.
We are here for you.
For me, I found the middle of my pregnancy quite ok. the hormones settle down and you sort of coast along for many weeks. That time is coming up for you soon - look out for it and enjoy, best to you and again - congratulations