One day at a time.May 3 2012 at 9:42 AM
|Maggie in VA (Login maggie1961)|
Response to How to give up on my dream of one more....
I'm sorry I'm so bad at keeping track of people's details, but to me it sounds as though right now you can't move forward with more kids. And the earthquake and its aftermath and the fear of more quakes are obviously a huge disruptive factor in your life right now, as are finances. But the fat lady isn't necessarily singing just because things look inauspicious right now. And you sound very sleep deprived.
You're at such a low point now in terms of pressures on you, in terms of living conditions, the very ground under your feet isn't even standing still, I can't begin to understand how despondent you might be feeling. But, as Jesus said, "Sufficient unto the day is the evil thereof." There are lots of possibilities in the future. Right now, perhaps you need to focus on getting your LO sleeping better so you can sleep better (I know you've been at that.).
There was a time when I wanted to go back for my frozens, even though I hadn't really considered having more than two kids even when fertile. And since then it has just been a tsunami of opposition, including the Czech legislature, the failure of the peripheral neuropathy I developed in pregnancy to resolve as all the doctors assured me it would, and how laughably overwhelmed I am with two boy toddlers. And I never even got to the point of bringing it up with the husband who nearly divorced me over having kids. I know, I know, it's different when you at least have a sibling, but I do comprehend that vetoed by fate feeling.
Anyway, try to put aside the "how do I stop without regretting it for the rest of my life?" question and just focus on stabilizing your situation. Your sweet LO needs you, and you can only fight on so many fronts at once.
Maggie (in VA)
- Vetoed by fate... - Lauranz on May 4, 2012, 3:34 PM