From what you say, it does sound like having another baby would be difficult now. That doesn't mean you have to give up on it forever, though. You have fosties and the beauty of DE is that your biological clock is not as much of a concern! Concentrte on coping with your present situation now, and maybe in a year's time you will be able to go for another baby.
I am in a similar situation to you - 41 with FSH of about 70 the last time I had it measured. I started HRT four weeks ago (my son is now 15 months) and I feel SO much better you wouldn't believe it. Could you not go on HRT? It wouldn't solve your problems, but it ight help you to cope with them.
Big hugs xxx