And the preschool I hope to get them into soon (when crazy McBoy is potty trained) doesn't let you opt out either. I talked to a lot of places and parents and no one has an opt out option for kids under 5 / kindergarten.
They do say Quiet time on their cot so they can have books but they have to be on their cot and yes that usually promotes a good nap. My kids nap 1hr max when home with us or nanny and its 2hrs at school. 2 HOURS! So on those days bedtime isn't 8:15 but 8;30 and they yap and talk and mess around until 9pm. On the weekends we do so much with them by 8pm they are often tired even with an hour nap.
I have however starting this week gotten the twins up 15min earlier before daycare days. I will do it another 15min earlier next week for 30 min earlier to see if this helps. I sadly get up earlier too but find they also like the "veg" with cartoon for 10 min before immediately going from bed - potty - to dressed - to wash face - to car etc. They battled me way less the last two days and I find I am less stressed without all their crying and begging to not get up. DH said they went to bed easy last night (I was away) and I will see how it goes tonight.
I am in the same boat, transitions are hard on them and us!