The local church in Georgia whom I did not know until I placed a call to them from Virginia and explained my father had never found a church in Georgia took great care of us. It was so important for me to have a Catholic service for his funeral I was beyond grief thinking it would not happen. The priest I met over the phone went to the Hospice Hospital and gave my father his last rites the morning before he died. There love and caring will never be forgotten the Catholic Church has this sense of Charity that becomes so evident when there is no one else to call. They go beyond the needs of the people that need them.
What you describe for your mom is beautiful, I love the fact your friends gather with you to have a memorial on Saturday with you. Friends are invaluable.
Regarding DH you know who he is now, and for what ever reason this is the man you have to deal with now. I pray you can mentally distance yourself and take your time and grief as you can with your friends and any family you may have that can support you. When you gain your strength deal with him appropriately so that you don't have to go through this heart ache and longing any longer. Either you accept the man he is now or let him know you cant and take it from there. I don't mean to be harsh, but you hurt so bad and many of us woman so understand needing a man by our side in times like this. Please take the time to embrace your memories of your parents. I know you did alot by yourself to make sure they had a proper resting place. I know it was hard but by the Grace of God you were able to do it and for that I am grateful.