I check the boards often, but so much has been happening lately that I just feel embarrased or ashamed so I haven't posted. My twins turned two years old yesterday and sadly I wasn't with them. DH and I are divorcing and it was all initiated by me. I'm not sure how I feel from day to day because my life has just changed so much. I'm in the process of trying to find a job, but because I have 3 young children and have been out of the work force for so long it's not been easy. I've been seeing a counselor now for the last 4-5 months now because this
all started when I was suffering with deep depression. As I stated before this was all done because of me, so as unsure as I feel, there was a reason. I just really felt inclined to write because I haven't done it in a long while. I know some won't agree that I'm doing the right thing, so I accept any negative comments I receive. I miss my family everyday because I see how it affects everyone, but being so unhappy for so long is the only reason that makes me continue on this difficult road I am currently on. So my friends, I'm not expecting much response, but I just thought I'd post since it's been such a long time since I have. Life is beautiful because of my children that I was blessed with. Also, we donated our remaining embryos from our last cycle that resulted in our twins. Sadly the couple became pregnant, but nothing came of it. That was pretty devastating for me because I just had so much hope for these embryos and I felt so guilty that they had to experience the excitement of a BFP, but nothing to result from it. Seriously, so very devastating! I'm so grateful for what came of that cycle or me because I obviously was blessed with two amazing little people. I miss my kids so much when I'm not with them. Our oldest DD just turned 5 y/o and it just amazes me how she has become such a unique individual. She has been very challenging lately, but she is very much like her father. It's just sort of surreal how my life has changed in just a matter of years. I went from thinking I'd never be a mom to having three kids and then being where I am currently. So I just wanted to post letting those who do know me about what's going on in my life.