I think it will be wonderful for the kids. I'm not a big enough person to put aside my own feelings (many and varied) and have another "mom" be a "part of our family." I would love it if our egg donors could meet up with us occasionally through the kids' lives, but I would not be including them in birthdays, graduations, etc, and there's NO way I'd call them the "egg mums [moms]." No way do they get "mom" designation of any kind, in my mind. I'd love it if the kids could know the "aunties" that made them possible, though. I think it would be SO good for them, to be able to ask someone they felt they knew, questions they might have as they grow up about genetic family, and to see where their features came from, etc - just things kids are naturally curious about. I am sure I would have feelings of insecurity from time to time over it, but I think it would be best for the kids, so I'd "fake it until I make it." But since this isn't an option, I guess I don't have to worry about it!! I am 90% sure our second donor would be open to contact (as nurse said she's in touch with other families to whom she donated), and could initiate that through our clinic to inquire, but it makes me sad to offer one child something the others wouldn't have. Plus DD2 is just too young, so why bother yet. When they're older, we'll see. It's all about what they want and need, so DH and I (and he's far more hesitant to acknowledge/discuss donors than I am) need to remember to let the kids' expressed needs and desires guide us. Thanks for sharing this thought-provoking article. Good for them for being so open, I think it will serve their children well. Best,
Kenny
