In my current situation (and, I think, yours), I would prefer to be closer to more amenities like a park, rec center, and schools. I also prefer living near public transportation. It would totally suck to have to take public transportation to my job every day, but it's a major relief to know I can do it if I have to. And if there's any chance my kids can take the bus (we don't expect to be in the DC area when they're older) to any of their activities when they're old enough, I am not playing chauffeur when they can.
I truly hear you. I would like more space for a vegetable garden; I haven't had time to try eke out a few tomatoes on the one patch of fungus-ridden ground in our yard that gets barely enough sun to support them since I was pg. I wish my boys were going to be somewhere where they might find frog eggs in a creek or crawfish in a pond or see a toad hop up the sidewalk. The creeks around here are mostly lined with concrete to prevent flooding and I guess all the lawn chemicals people here use have destroyed the amphibian life. I would like my kids to be able to ride their bikes around town safely, which I'm not sure is really possible here.
But being stuck out by yourself with your kid in the country -- watched my older sister do this -- is pretty isolating, even if the country is nice. And having the shorter commute for DH would be worth a lot; my supposedly "reverse" commute has been mysteriously stretching out to an hour, and it's a huge stressor.
Maggie (in VA)