I have precious, near perfect twin girls....I've loved being their mom for the past 9 years. Their father had an affair & left when they were 3 1/2. I have no reason for his bitterness, other than somewhere deep inside he feels guilty for the way he treated our family & his children. He sees the girls about 20% of his allowed time. He moved 1500 miles away. I have recently decided to move back to my hometown so I filed with the court to allow the move (he wasn't supposed to leave without the court allowing a modification of our agreement but he did it anyway). He has recently filed suit for custody - he is remarried, has 2 stepkids & a new baby. He has gone months with no contact, rarely calls, takes the girls to his home to visit 2x a year. He has functionally abandoned the girls - he doesn't answer their phone calls, ignores their emails, never writes, etc. He doesn't have a chance for custody - I suspect he is only filing it as a retaliatory strike...he doesn't want me to move out of a state with a cap on child support (he makes $30k a month & only pays $1800 CS).
Which leads me to my point. I received an email this morning saying "Remind your attorney & notify your fiance that you are NOT the girls biological mother & everyone, including the girls, will find that out in court." He made a vague threat way back when he first left that I was not the girls' mother & he would prevail if it went to court -I know that is a horrible lie....but I did start laying the groundwork with the girls...I've told them I needed a doctor's help & the donation of a very special college girl to get pregnant with them...but the whole DNA, biological, where babies come from speech is a little too soon for them.
I will have to tell the girls - I can't risk them being told in an ugly way that is seeking to upset their bond with their mom.
I feel like telling him "you contributed a microscopic piece of DNA & then turned out to be a neglectful, uncaring, narcissistic, poor excuse for a father. I didn't have the privilege of contributing the DNA but I gave my body to care for them, to nurse them for years, 100% of my heart & soul & 95% of my time to love, nurture, teach & care for them. I'm much, much more their parent than you ever have been." I won't say these things....but they are what I thought when he sent me the ugly email. He should be ashamed that he would place the girls in the middle to feed his ego & need to control.