I can feel how raw you are right now-- it's absolutely awful to get that far and have it taken away. You are NOT a loser. You know that-- I think it's just hard to find another way to express the anger at your body for failing at something that others seem to do so easily. I have felt this too, and I have said similar things to myself many times, and frankly, still do pretty regularly. It's hard to separate these things, but you are not your uterus, immune system. or whatever may be causing these losses. Some of us hit the biological / genetic jackpot with reproduction, and some just don't. It sucks to be on the losing end of that bargain-- so badly that I don't think anyone who hasn't been there in one way or another really understands.
Please post again and whenever you feel the need. You need some time to process. I hear you on the financial limitations. It hurts to have money as the functional stopping point. You have some time to think about options / what you are comfortable with. Please know that I will be thinking of you and sending many hugs to you and your family. If you have already told the kids, I know that will be extra rough. Please be good to yourself and remember that you are not a failure.
|This message has been edited by sophie6 on Nov 1, 2014 10:25 AM|