And being a parent is HARD! Honestly. It's harder than I thought it would be. I assumed my kids would sleep through the night, that I'd always we patient, that my interactions with them would be consistently correct, that my husband and I would agree on how best to deal with issues. You get it.
These are my kids. They're real kids. Snotty, funny, adorable, temper-tantrumed, opinionated, real kids.
My 5-year-old 'knows' as well as a kid her age can, about DE. Most days I forget. My husband forgot long ago. We used DE for one child and DEmbie for the other. He can't remember which one, either.
The child you get is the one you know you were meant to have, I think.