One week ago, at 6 wks, 2 days, I saw a beautiful beating heart in one of my little embies (we even heard it fluttering away at 144 bpm!). The other gestational sac was too difficult to see clearly, since it was being obstructed from view by the first one, which is lower in my uterus, so we're going back tomorrow to see if the second one has grown, and is therefore viable.
As much as I'm now longing for them both, I am absolutely terrified of going in tomorrow and finding out neither of them has made it. If we lose one, I will be ok, but I can't stand the thought of losing them both. Like so many of you, I lost my last pregnancy at about 7.5 weeks, and there is some very dark place in my subconscious that is convinced my body is not fit to carry anything past that point. It doesn't matter that everything is different this time - the eggs, the additional hormonal support, the aspirin, the acupuncture, etc.. - I'm still terrified.
I'm doing everything I can to stay positive, but today, that fear has a solid grip on me. Mantras aren't helping, logic isn't helping, and my wonderful DH is out of town, so he's not even helping. I know there's no way to know for sure if everything will be ok tomorrow, but I could really use some words of encouragement! Any success stories would be immensely appreciated..
early on to feel from day to day that things are progressing. I was right there with you when pg with dd 4 years ago. I was shocked that every u/s was normal, and scared to death on the days in between. My words of wisdom would be to try not to worry when there is no real reason to worry. And your last u/s should be reassuring with one measuring normal and one difficult to see. So if there was no good reason to worry when you walked out of your last appt. then try and believe that things have not changed.
I hope that you have a great (and happy) u/s! Congrats. on your pg.
Rather than tell you not to be afraid, I'm going to say that it's OK to have the fear, NOT because there's likely to be anything wrong, but because the fear is there. Sometimes making friends with our feelings is easier than fighting them, you know?
I have a beautiful 5-month-old son now through DE. I had lost a previous pg that turned out to be ectopic. Last year at precisely the time when we had discovered the ectopic, I had a bleeding scare and went for an u/s sure that I was miscarrying, but instead we had a heartbeat. Two weeks later, before the next u/s, I was absolutely panicked in the waiting room for no particular reason. I think I was just so used to getting bad news at the clinic. Everything was fine, though, and we then graduated to a regular OB. I continued to be nervous before each visit, but less as time went on.
I don't know if this helps, but I do understand where you are. Please hang in there and keep us posted!
helped me get through the first few weeks, after so many losses.
I trused that all would be well..it was the first time that I somehow had the belief that nothing could go wrong and I convinced myself that it wouldn't.
will be thinking of you.
I don't blame you for being apprehensive. Try to keep it out of your mind somehow by anymeans. Go in tomorrow, see that things are fine and then be determined to enjoy your pregnancy from now on.
best to you, THK
I'm feeling a bit better today, but when the appointment rolls around this afternoon, I know I'm going to be a nervous wreck. I think, though, that after today, after I see that everything is ok, I'm going to enjoy this pregnancy. That is my promise to myself.