I only work 1 1/2 days a week and on my full day I usually (not always but usually) am so knackered that DD vegetates with a video when we get home. I just hope on those days she's been particularly active at her childminder's. (She was today, thank heavens, because now she's on video number 2. She doesn't know TV can be for kids. The videos are at least usually somewhat educational and age-appropriate, though she did watch Grease and loved it and demanded it for a while.)
Today I picked her up, went to the grocery store, got dinner started, and collapsed on the couch beside her. And I don't anticipate much activity in the near future, though I am going to TRY to convince her and DH to go for a walk / balence bike ride around the block after we eat.
I go to sleep with her every night now, usually at 9 or 9:30, and sleep through, so I'm getting enough sleep.
Seriously, do you manage to play in the evenings or is that mostly just on weekends?
This is how things have been going since the days have gotten warm. I pick up the kids at day care. We get home and I phone DH from the car. DH helps me get the kids out and I put up my bags. He plays with them outside while I try to get dinner ready for all of us, if possible, or just the kids if I don't have something I can fix pretty quickly for us all.
I bring them water bottles and snacks, if they need them. Otherwise, the boys are likely to come inside demanding snacks (and, worse, milk bottles, but that's another post, oy!) every 5 min. setting dinner further and further back.
DH has a few ploys for keeping them entertained. He has a bunch of old tires from the recumbent tricycles (hear that, kiwis?) he builds and rides (I have one, too, but haven't ridden since pg), and he rolls them down the ramp of the shed where we keep the lawn equipment and bikes. The twins find this tremendously entertaining.
His other strategy is to take them up to the garage, where he lets them push around the dolly he outfitted with padding to hold the bonnet of his Austin Healey Sprite when he needs to detach it. And he also has this rolling shop stool that they like to push around. He also lets them get in the car and futz around with the buttons and levers in a supervised kind of way.
When supper is ready, we gather them inside and pray they haven't snacked so much they won't eat. Or at least that they are interested enough in eating that we might get a few minutes peace before they start preventing us from eating.
After supper they can watch TV, usually the Wiggles or Backyardigans or Sesame Street. If desperate, we sometimes let them watch TV before dinner, but I avoid it as it's hard to get them to the dinner table.
My job is very sedentary and lately the work has been very slow, which is why I am not totally destroyed. But I still sometimes just collapse and fall asleep after they're in bed.
That's the evening working optimally. Sometimes they are so ravenous they pester me for snacks and have dirty diapers and whatnot so that I almost can't get dinner finished. Have considered giving snacks in the car (we're five minutes from the day care) as Aufrecht does. If it's raining, then having them inside almost guarantees more disruption for me.
And, yeah, as Aufrecht says, little "cooking" going on. Have been too tired to cook ahead much; we're subsisting on defrostables from Costco and Trader Joe's mainly. I got a lot of good input from my local MoMs' list when I posted about my difficulty getting dinner ready for all of us. I just don't try to every night, but then I'm doing two rounds of cooking and clean-up, and you know I don't get anything else done those nights.
I had to move to a half-hour lunch to accommodate nanny's working hours and then day care, and was just dying not being able to do anything. A shopping center with a grocery store, branch of my bank, and chain drugstore opened closer to my office and now I can run out for a few items, especially as it's slow and no one's watching the clock.
It just all sounded like clockwork.
I can certainly see that cooking isn't possible on workdays if you want to have any time to talk to your kids. I usually don't cook anything time-consuming on the days I work but did today, because I wanted DD to get a bit of fiber, as she's having some digestion problems lately. That's probably what pushed me over the edge this evening.
I pick the kid up at 5 and she eats a snack in the car because she is starving. (Usually half a banana and a graham cracker or dried seaweed and apples slices)We talk and sing in the car, I hear the news of the day. Yesterday there was a firealarm and her friend Ava cried because it was too loud.
So then we are at home. We take off our shoes, the kid goes potty and I by that time have a baby on one arm or on the breast and am heating up dinner for her. I don't cook much during the week- I reheat. So she eats leftovers or yogurt with fruit or turkey slices and pickles. Lately she likes dipping cooked cold vegetables in salad dressing and eating them. Then it is bathtime and then 20 minutes of Dora the explorer(TV show)while I lotion her up, comb her hair, clip her nails, etc...then at 7 pm it is bedtime. I put down the babies now- this is times just for me and the kid. We read 2 stories, sing 2 songs, talk about what happened today, what will happen tomorrow and by 7:15-7:20 she is done. Sometimes she goes to sleep right away, sometimes she sings to her dollies and talks to them for a half hour or 45 minutes. There is no time for "playing" but there is silliness and cuddling and giggling all on the way.
Then I eat, feed a baby, change diapers/babyclothes, talk to my parents, put away clothes, set out what the kid needs for the next day, set out my clothes, shower, watch TV, look at internet until 10 when the boys and I go to bed. We get up at 6, the kid around 6:30 and then I get the kid dressed, pottied, combed and she gets her vitamins and then we go to daycare by 7:45. Busy busy weekdays.
Weekends we play, go to the parks, she rides her bike, blows bubbles, goes to the children's museum, plays with playdoh at home, colors, and read books and sing songs.So we have full but pretty fun week ends too. Usually about half the weekend is play and half is grocery shopping, cooking, putting away, cleaning, visiting with friends, etc...
During the week I have a Mother's Helper who does vacuuming, mopping, laundry, dusting and cleaning as well as looking after the twins 6 hours a day. She is amazing. I could not do it without her. My parents also help enormously with babysitting, shopping and being another set of arms.
During my lunch hour I go to the bank, pick up some groceries, get my haircut, go to the post office, etc..
It is a crazy busy life.
So your mileage may vary but my observation is that women who have 1 kid or 4 kids are all busy and it doesn't matter what kid of mom you are (Stay at home or Work parttime/fulltime or work at home or single or married, etc...)people are all busy and pressed for time and feel overwhelmed. Everybody feels they have to leave certain activities out of their daily life because there is just no time. But they still have time for what is important to them (Church, Gym, family dinners, etc...)
This is what I think of as a very busy schedule! No way am I busy like that! I do always have SOMETHING in the morning and something in the afternoon, but I certainly don't have to get a haircut on my lunchbreak! I am, as always, in awe of you, Aufrecht.
We didn't manage our bike ride / walk because it was sprinkling when we went out. DH said, oh, this would be great time to put the sprinklers on and get the yard good and soaked after such a hot day. DD was VERY interested and ended up going to check out the sprinkler,to our great mirth.
Ended up with her naked and running around and around the sprinkler. She convinced DH to run around with her. I sat on the porch holding towels and laughing. And it was great. (She TRIED to tell him he wouldn't be so cold if he got naked but he wouldn't listen to reason.)
When she starts Kindergarten in the fall, I'll know she's getting a lot of that socialization and physical activity that I try to make a part of every morning and afternoon. And I think the timing is good. She'll be well settled there when the baby arrives.
great question -- curious about other responses, for me....
June 20 2012, 11:31 AM
I probably work 50-80 hours a week. Of late I have not had to work weekends any more (except at home). My hope is that once one of my contract assignments ends (in 2 months) we can spend all sorts of quality time together as I will cut back to 20-30 hours p/w through the end of the year. For now it's mostly weekends to spend with LO.
First DH is SAH which is a BLESSING. I never thought in a zillion years when his company shut down (when I was 5 m pregnant) that it would turn out to be a "good" thing! He does some work from home (I don't know how and I probably don't want to know -- I'm sure dvds are involved, albeit baby babble and other such "educational" tapes). He usually only works 2-4 days a week for about 2-4 hours per day and much of that in the evening when I'm home.
My schedule is flexible in that although I have a lot of work I don't HAVE to always be anywhere at specific times. Because of that I can take a morning and work til midnight or go in early and leave mid afternoon or even do things from home (although I've found I don't have the discipline for that with LO around -- one little smile or giggle from him and mama leaves what she's doing to read or play ).
After a long day, I'll be frank, I collapse. Not so much from the work but from the drive. Usually 1 to 1.5 hours each way. However, once I rest for a bit and get some dinner I'm ready to play and read, etc. But, some days, it's just straight to bed. After much controversy and arguing, DH and I have settled that during the week, my "job" as to LO is to read and have fun, NOT to completely take over all care and house duties. It was a hard-fought battle. DH has TRULY stepped up to the plate with cleaning, laundry, dishes, shopping...there literally is not much to do when I get home so I can have a couple hours of quality time w/ LO. For meals, I usually spend about 3 hours on the weekend preparing different meals to eat throughout the week for all 3 of us. DH just is never going to be able to cook anything approaching a healthy, balanced meal.
We rely on weekends for family time-- usually on Sunday as Saturday is my time (sans DH) with LO. DH gets a break and I get to have fun.
So...there you have it....no structure whatsoever. I've tried to fit what we do into a "routine" but other than specific meal, snack, grooming, reading, bed times for LO we take it day-by-day. We have 42 acres that is overgrown and horses with knotted tails but...frankly, I've learned to pick my battles on all that. As long as all are healthy & happy I'm content to let our property revert to the wild until we have time to work on it together as a family (hopefully later this year). And, for the first time in my life, I DON'T worry what others think about how overgrown/run-down it looks -- really doesn't faze me any longer.
So, I'm sure my "routine" will be the least helpful of all!
This message has been edited by sangelas on Jun 21, 2012 1:14 PM This message has been edited by sangelas on Jun 21, 2012 1:11 PM
I LOVE the fact that your DH, as the SAHP, takes care of business so you can have the fun and giggles part in the evenings after working hard all day. That probably does wonders for you and kiddo both. I'm afraid my DH is by far the neater, more disciplined one of us. When he gets home, he goes through the mail, cuts the grass, etc. (And often does the dishes left from lunch, I'm ashamed to admit.)
Your post is very motivating to me. I'm going to try and get a bit more organized during the day. I think part of the problem is that DD and I have our organized activities that, when I combine them with the occasional doctor's appointment or grocery shopping tour, fill up the morning. Then we have a long nap (yep, me too) and then I want her outside before it gets too close to time to cook dinner, so we're off. Often when we come home, DH is already here, tidying the kitchen.
We just have 7 more weeks of this sort of life. In southern Germany, August is holiday time, so there's no more kid gymnastics or Musikgarten, etc. And Kindergarten and a whole new life starts in September.
OMG. Well, if DH is giving you enough support to cook on the weekends, that's a huge help. If I could do that, we'd be eating much better. But it's not as though DH isn't helping w/the kids on the weekends. Anyway, my life feels like an army of metaphorical knotted horses' tails these days, but I think once the twins play more together instead of trying to kill each other, life should get somewhat better. Take care, Maggie (in VA)
If DH is home, he will try to entertain them in the backyard while I fix dinner (or vice versa). Dinner around 5:30, then baths, then a little play time--puzzles, books, tv, etc--then 7:00 bedtime for the twins. DD #1 gets to stay up a little later. that is our one on one with her. We read books, play games, etc. 8:00 is winding down time for her.
When DH is not home (every 3rd night), I am solo and things are just hectic until I collapse at bedtime. We get home around 4:30; they get snacks and the TV goes on hoping they get distracted by it (they never do); i attempt to clean the mess left from the morning, unpack lunches, and start preparing dinner. I never cook when I am home alone with them. It is fast, easy things on those nights. After dinner I keep to the same schedule above except it is me doing it all so I literally never stop until DD#1 goes to bed. It is on these days that I totally admire single mothers.
I would say most of our "fun" play time is on the weekends.
I wonder if, as they get a bit older, they'll entertain each other more
June 20 2012, 11:34 PM
I assume (and desperately hope for my own future) that this will happen. I think when they're as young as yours or an only chold like mine, the parents have to spend a lot more time being play-mates.
Thanks for the response.
Being prego makes you tired anyway. So remember that. As You know I work FT the typical USA hours of 8hr a day 5x a week. I dream of a 6hr 3x a week lifestyle - hello govt and bosses of the world! haha
Caveates...DH gets home at 3pm and is already home with the kids when the nanny leaves at that time 3x a week. Kids are at daycare until 6pm 2x a week. I get home by 4:30 daily....so here goes
Home at 4:30 kids either playing with DH or at daycare
Unwind, maybe change clothes, maybe start a load of laundry
5pm get dinner going so it is ready around 5:45/6pm.
6pm dinner for everyone!
DH does the dishes and I get solo time with the kids playing outside/inside etc
6:30/6:45 or so during the summer we go for a walk / play with neighbor kids etc
7:30 bath / jammies then a cartoon for the kids
7:50 brush teeth and B goes to bed, twins get a personal story from DH in bed, I then sing with them for a few minutes and they get books in bed. We have a 30min dimmer timer on their light so it gets gradual dark so after the 10 min or so with DH and I tehy can read books and be quiet
8:30 DH and I have alone time for about 2 hours, sometimes I get dinner ready for the crock pot the next day or finish that laundry or read or watch tv etc.
random other things
once a week we go to a park and play and have a picnic! Something fun midweek, means no cooking for me, no dishes for DH and the kitchen stays clean!
I do most of my grocery shopping Sat morning at like 8am. So by 10am I am done with errands and we can have fun or whatever. I hit the farmers markets on Wed or Sun depending what time of year. We do have a housekeeper once every 3 weeks, between that DH does a lot of the spot cleaning on the 2x a week he is home at 3pm but kids at daycare until he gets them at 5:30! He also mows lawn/gardens those 2 days. On Sundays I cut up all sorts of veg/fruit for most of the week...grapes, melon, berries, cucumber slices, bell pepper, carrot sticks, celery sticks, etc
preplanning my meals/shopping etc using pepperplate.com or the app REALLY helps. I do a crock dinner once a week, picnic/sandwiches once a week, leftovers once a week, so really only 4 nights a week do I really cook which is usually 2 nights during the work week and the weekends. Example...M I made curry, carrots and rice, T we had pork chops in the crock, corn and fruit salad, Tonight is crock pot chix marsala, caprese salad and beans, Thur is park/sandwiches, Fri is leftovers, Sat bbq with friends and Sun will be teriyaki chix and asian coleslaw. My kids eat anythign like your sweet Babyboat so I am thankful for that! I make lots of extras for lunches and for that fun leftover night (sometimes DH just has cereal as he isnt a fan of leftover meats)
Ang, I just woke up after sleeping from 9:30 to 8 o'clock!!!
June 20 2012, 11:39 PM
I'm sure the pregnancy has a lot to do with it, but I have realized how BEHIND I am on so many non-urgent projects. DD's babybook ends the week before her 1st birthday because I've TAKEN many pics since then, but not printed them, and now I'm too intimidated to start! Maybe when she starts Kindergarten?
By the way, I would LOVE to be able to eat at your house. Lucky kids! Hey, DD has been constipated these last 4 weeks, since we stopped nursing, so I'm trying to find high-fiber foods. Last night I made split pea soup and she LOVED it. Yaay! Win!
My house is a disaster, the meals I cook are not so healthy, I have been too disorganized to pay some of the bills on time recently. So, no Martha Stewart here. I pick the girls up from daycare, get them home and feed them-sometimes peanut butter and jelly for the toddler and infant cereal for the baby. They either have about 45 minutes to an hour to play or have a bath or both. DH is home some nights but often works late. At about 7 pm the bedtime routine begins with books and teethbrushing etc. Toddler is in bed by about 7:30 (although lately she gets up multiple times to tell me things or to ask for her doll etc). Baby nurses and nurses and plays. She goes to bed around 9/9:30 if I am lucky. We are not on a good schedule with her at all yet. I go to bed as soon as I can afterward. I get up early to pump and then make bottles and food for baby for daycare. Then get baby up while DH gets toddler up and gets her ready. It is really tiring.
Everything is at sixes and sevens in the house most of the time, and while I have long been trying to implement Aufrecht's "one chore a night" principle, all it takes is an illness, an unexpected event, or sheer exhaustion to cut that back to not even getting that one thing done. I am wearing clothes that need mending and hoping no one notices the holes, b/c that gets put off so much. I have another mile-high mountain of mail to sort through. I've come to the realization that I should just stop all hard copy magazine subscriptions. And what's scary is I have so much more help than many moms here. Everything feels as though it's being done half-a**ed. Maggie (in VA)
We do have a cleaning person that comes every other week which is a big help but, yeah, I really feeling like I am half assing alot of things these days. I usually do laundry for myself and the girls on the weekend and grocery shop when DH is at home with the girls. And, sometimes DH does the grocery shopping and sometimes he will wash their clothes along with his clothes. I recently cancelled our newspaper subscription because I was never EVER reading it and it ended up just being something else I had to do (taking it out to the recycling).
They are clean and fed-just not fed the most nutritious of foods all the time. So, I am doing the job, but not doing it quite as well as I had hoped. And by the way, I am impressed that you are in the second trimester and still have pants that fit. I currently have only one or two pairs of pants that fit and I am not even pregnant!
I can only imagine how hard it is doing most everything. My hat is off to single parents & those with a spouse or partner who isn't in there 50/50.
If I had to feed our family, oh boy. Dh likes to cook. I do not. It would be so difficult. So the fact you are putting one foot in front of the other every single day & getting it all done? You're doing just fine, Pandora.
And it will get easier in many ways once the baby is older.
You are right. I don't want to wish the time away, but our baby is much more demanding then her sister was and I get pretty much no down time now. I had down time with DD1 so got pretty spoiled. I will almost be glad when we are done nursing and she is a little bit more independent and I am never pumping again.
It's tough! I get up for work at 4:30 am, get the twins up at 5:25 am, drop them off at daycare at 5:55 am. I work 6:30 to 2:30 pm......then the fun starts. lol I get off work, pick them up from daycare, go workout (they can come play while I workout), get home about 5:30 - 6 pm, eat dinner, play, bath time (depending on day), play some more then time to wind down starting about 7:40 or so and bedtime by 9 pm. Oh yea, and I'm back in school (for Law Enforcement), so now I have school work/papers on top of it.
My bedtime is about 11 pm.....way too late.
Me: 34 y/o Him: 43 - He had affairs, now divorced and he's 9 hrs away.
TTC'd 4 yrs - POF'er at 22 y/o, with 1st DE cycle in April '08. TWINS! Embies frozen on day 6: 4 grade two & 2 grade three blasts. Now what am going to do with them?!
Healthy BOY and GIRL were born in Nov 2008! 100% custody since they were 14 months old.
I am so, so impressed by you moms who are working full-time & going to school. Good for you, MW! I don't know how you keep going, but I think it's great that you're pursuing a new chosen career. I hope all goes well!
Dh is the cook in our family (thank heavens!) & he has the more flexible schedule. He is usually home around 5:30 with the boys. I get home between 5:30 & 6:00, usually closer to 6:00.
At the ideal end of the spectrum, during the hot summer months, which have begun here, dh will start cooking when he gets home. The boys are watching a DVD. (Yes, a necessary evil, although the selection is very limited. Curious George, Thomas the Train, etc.) We eat dinner at the table with no TV. Then we go in the backyard & the boys swim & play. Dh & I swim with them or watch them play. Then we start our bedtime routine, which can take 30 to 45 minutes. (Big sigh there.)
But that's an ideal summer evening & I'd be embarrassed to hazard a guess as to how often we achieve the ideal.
At the worst end of the spectrum, we might find ourselves all collapsed in the livingroom eating fast food with the boys watching a DVD. The usual reasons for that would be just an evening of extreme exhaustion or an evening disrupted by soccer or t-ball or swimming. Thankfully those activities have been short lived for us so far. Soccer was 6 wks. in the fall, t-ball was March-May & we're done with swimming lessons during the week.
And then there are the evenings in between. Maybe dinner is in the livingroom with a DVD on instead of at the table, but once dinner is over, the TV goes off & we go swimming. Or maybe dinner is a fresh you-bake pizza from Whole Foods. Or dh may take the boys out front to ride bikes while I do the dishes.
I'm trying to mentally gear up for what it will be like when they're older, as there will be school work & activities, although we intend to limit the activities so as not to go nuts. Still, any activity after work has proven to be hard on us. Neither of us like evening obligations, but that's what most activities seem to entail. Bleh.
We do try to eat home cooked meals most of the time, so that is a key focus for our family & it does take some planning. We try not to eat fast food & usually don't, but we can't claim 100% success. Dh cooks, but I help find easy recipes we like. One project that has gone unfinished is a recipe binder filled with meals that take 30 min. or less. Have the binder & have a whole pile of recipes we've had over the years, but that's as far as we've gotten.
Toward the ideal end of the spectrum, dh will make a casserole or something else with plenty of leftovers on Sunday, so we have lunches & some protection against a horrible evening with no time to cook. He really tries to do that, but it doesn't always get done.
Lunches for the boys, which they have to take from home, are boring, but luckily they don't seem to mind. Yogurt, apple sauce, cheese sticks, & almond butter wheat bread sandwiches are staples. Lunches get made in the morning, though.
Things that seem to come up a lot to throw us off are extended family in town, evening activities (soccer, for example, entailed 1 practice & 1 game during the week), or a case of the blahs, which happens.
Evenings are about survival here, but at least we're together & we have dinner together. Frankly, in this day & age, that counts for a lot, I think.
Constants for us to survive are that I do the laundry, pay the bills, pick up the house, etc. on the weekend. I don't attempt chores during the week, unless it's something that has to be done, like dishes. We also try to get all major errands, including food shopping & menu planning, done on the weekend. If the weekend passes without food shopping, the whole week goes downhill fast. (And yes, it does happen sometimes.)
We don't operate with military precision here, so some weeks are great & others are off-kilter. Our main goals are home cooked meals with some time to play between dinner & bedtime. So when we have an off week, we just try to get back on track for the next. And we one of us is having an extra bad day in terms of exhaustion, dh will bake a pizza or something & we just let go, hoping the next day will be better. And it usually is. I just have to repeat how much I'm dreading homework & more regular activities in the future. We're both tired after working all day & feel like we're barely surviving now. Knowing it will get worse in terms of obligations is very sobering!
To me it sounds like you have things under control
June 21 2012, 8:25 AM
and your kids know what to expect and what you expect of them. And it sounds like you are having family time and activiities together regularly.
Those projects that never get done, like your recipes? I suspect that's 99% of families. Think about it. The evening swim together is more important.
Thanks for this!
I think we do OK overall & considering that family time together is more important than some other stuff, like a house that's spotless, I think we're mostly succeeding in that we are together most of the time in the evenings & weekends.
But things feel out of control & on the brink on disaster most of the time. To keep from losing it, I just try to be better at throwing up my hands, giving in, & going with the flow. I do wish one of us could work part-time at least so we could do a few more things with the kids, but it is what it is.
I think you're doing great & as someone else pointed out (Ang?), you are pg. That alone is hugely exhausted. You will find your rhythm.
on dreading when homework and other activities start kicking in. I was just thinking the other day about where/how we will find time to do homework. I think we have 1 more year until it really kicks into high gear.
My kids are almost done with 1st and 3rd grade. I yet to see something resembling rigorous homework. The 1st-grader still doesn't have one; the 3rd-grader has math homework given out on Monday (a page or 2 of relatively easy stuff) that has to be returned on Friday. Occasionally, they have some song words to memorize. That's it.
Life will gradually change when you get to the homework stage. You won't have the bedtime routine in the toddler sense; they will know the time on the clock, they will pick their own books to read, they will play video games without needing you. They will be able to chop-chop some veggies and make sandwiches for snacks. They will have to fold their laundry and maybe wash dishes in turns.
Unless they are in a private school with more homework, the early school years will be easy and gentle.
We have bought an extra year b/c the law has changed here & ds cannot go to kindergarten until next year. But we have to decide soon where to apply & it scares the poop out of me.
I have that feeling where I'm looking over my shoulders & going, "Wait, I'm in charge here? Where's an adult? I have to decide this?" I feel like a kid when it come to this stuff. I'm clueless & yet it's around the corner. But I do feel like the real grown-up needs to stand up. And yes, I'm in my 40s. In general I feel competent, but when it comes to schooling? Not so much! I'm merely impersonating a grown-up.
After you have worked and picked up your child you do not go to the grocery store with your child. I go to the grocery store on the weekends when DH is home, I go alone. If something is missing or needed during the week, he will go before or after work. Several 24hr stores around like Walmart. For the most part we try to do without if I forgot something until the following weekend.
I cook every other day for the next day. I never cook dinner the same night we have to eat it. Example on Sunday we usually eat out or bring food in. I cook Sunday for Monday and Tuesday. On Tuesday while the kids are eating leftovers from Monday I cook for Wednesday and Thursday. Friday we have pizza or chinses. Saturday I will cook a light meal like fish or spagetti, something quick. Sunday we eat out or bring food in and I cook Sunday night for Monday and Tuesday. No pressure at all during the week to get a meal on the table.
My husband works 2nd shift he has to be at work at 4pm and may not get home til 2am. So when we leave in the morning none of see him again until the next morning when he gets up to help get the kids ready.
So I leave at 7:30am drop 6yr old at school, twins to daycare. I am at my desk at 9am. I leave work at 5pm. By the time I pick up 6yr old and twins we walk in the door between 6-6:30pm. We wash hands and face (using baby wipes and hand soap I keep in the kitchen), they go straight to the table and sit while I dish out their plates and heat in the microwave. While they eat I will slice fruit for desert or cook dinner if its Tuesday or Thursday. By 7:30pm I have dinner on the stove or in the oven and we head upstairs no playing, they can watch tv educational tv while they eat. By 7:30pm-7:45pm we are heading upstairs. I give them a quick wash off in the tub and I mean quick they stand in the tub I soap them up, rinse them off and dry them off. I can get a kid washed and ready for bed in 10-15mins. By 8:30pm everyone is in bed, clothes are laid out for the next day and lights OUT. So bottom line when we walk in the door we are aiming for bed. In 2hrs when I walk in the door everyone eats and in bed and ready for the next day. Mind you its just me DH is not at home. We see him 30 minutes everyday during the week.
This message has been edited by Dee.S on Jun 20, 2012 6:04 PM
Wow! That's not a lot of time for you and your DH, is it?
June 21 2012, 8:30 AM
Great tip about cooking ahead. As far as shopping goes, the European norm is to pick up food for today and tomorrow. The fridges here are tiny. Think college dorm size. We do have a deep freeze in the storage room, though. And no 24 hr shopping here. The law says they have to close at 8 pm, but it's still A LOT better than when I first came here and everything closed at 6 pm and noon on Saturdays!!
Precision clockwork, Dee. You've got it under control! My hat is off to you.
That is the goal to find him a position where he works during the day, he works for a Major Soft Drink manufacturer and he has been with them 6yrs. When you are hired you go to 2nd or 3rd shift. You have to wait for a day position to open up and rotate in my seniority, the people on day shift aren't going anywhere. We hate to leave that job though cause it has a pension and we need that money when we retire to go along with meager savings and social security I am sure. We are on a mission now that I am finished with school to get him on days so that we both all are home together as a family at night.
In the 90's, and she was always under pressure to get her shopping done. That was when the stores closed at 6PM and noon on Saturdays and opened not at all on Sundays. She did have a full-sized refrigerator, though, thank heaven.
Yes, Dee, I have tried so hard to get a system like yours going, but it always gets subverted somehow, usually by the kids being sick. Hate the dependence on convenience foods -- I'm forgetting how to cook properly! -- but I'm hoping this is just where we are now.
Our marriage is on strings because we rarely have quality time these past few years with me in school and stressed with 3 kids alone 5 days a week. Since school has been out I am determined to pull things back together and make quality time for us, if not just he and I we will start going out more as a family. Last weekend all of us had dinner at Bass Pro shop and then we all went to see Men in Black. It was really nice and we all gave DH a kiss and my goodness he kissed me like he was hungry. Guess it showed how deprived he has been, I felt horribly guilty. But I am gonna work on it and he is going to try and look for shift changes so he and I are on the same schedule. We need it as a family cause its not only I who don't have time with him, its the kids also. They see less of him then I do during the week. At-least if I wake up when he comes in I can talk to him for a few before I fall back to sleep. So I need prayers on pulling my marriage back together.
I hadn't read this when I posted above. You've got them! You are doing so much as it is. I hope you are able to strengthen your marriage & your dh is able to focus on the future. It can be so hard. I do understand. I feel like my marriage is solid BUT I'm keenly aware that although we're together as a family a lot, dh & I don't have much time together without the kids. (This is b/c the kids don't go to bed super early & I have to go to bed at a reasonable hour. Most of the time, I go to sleep when ds #1 does, which equals no adult time at all.) I think the end is in sight, but I worry more some times than others, as I do know how little quality time we have with just the 2 of us.
I work FT 50-60 hrs/week from home. Daycare days are T/W/Th. Get up about 610. Get ready, then go downstairs, wake up F and get him Pottied and dressed and out the door by 640. Arrive daycare 7am and return home by 720. Workout for 1/2 hour, then get quick breakfast, feed dogs, then take them out while working on iPhone. Go to office and work straight to 430 when I leave to pick F up at daycare. I usually grill couple times over weekend so can reheat and add veggie and salad during week. Get home by 530 unless we have to go to a store, eat, give F bath, feed dogs and take out, watch TV and read together with F for 20-30 minutes, then bed by 730 or so. I usually relax for an hour or so in the blessed quiet, sometimes go back to work. On school nights I try to go to bed by 10. Mondays and Fridays are spent with F, running errands, going out to breakfast, etc. I work doggedly during his nap. In between all I manage the beach house, and work to get my deceased Dad's house ready to rent seasonally. Since Phil died I've been overwhelmed with 3 houses, 3 cars, 2 boats, work, and managing the business. But there's no family here and few friends. On weekends, F usually gets a swim lesson, during which I clean the house. I usually do the mopping during his nap. F got a light case of the flu recently, after which I got a BAD one. Honestly, I had to keep going, and the only other thing I could fo was nap during his naps on the weekend. It's exhausting. All I do is work. BUT, I don't have any trouble sleeping! And I'm it, so it works... Whatever you set your mind to will work out fine...
I do think you're always there for your child,, and that's definitely the most important thing for both of you, especially at this stage in life, but you don't get a lot of time for yourself, do you? Will your schedule get easier, do you think, in future? Are you going to keep all of the houses, etc?
I am very impressed that you get F up early and to daycare so that you can work out! That's amazing discipline! We tend to lounge in bed far too late in the mornings. Changing that for Kindergarten isn't going to be easy.
For 8 months, when Frankie was little and Phil was alive, he was sick but here, so we stayed up late and slept in! When I first put him in daycare, I did afternoons!! I honestly couldn't get up that early!! Once I got on the T/W/Th full days, it's easier to get up early when we don't have to the other 4 days! EXCEPT, even when he stays ip late, he gets up early... So can't usually sleep in, sigh. But listen, don't feel bad - I would if I could!!
I'll probably lose 2 of the houses. That may take a year or two, which hopefully would give me enough time to downsize to a pretty small house!
Best wishes for your July cycle! I hope it brings you your precious baby to join your family. I can't imagine how hard it must be to put one foot in front of the other after losing your beloved partner. I truly hope brighter days are ahead for you & F.
I have always been in awe of working moms, but whenever I read posts like these I just feel dizzy. I feel like I can never get it all done, my house is almost never tidy (twice per years perhaps LOL?), laundry not folded, dog hair dust bunnies flying across the floor at warp speed, tripping over everyone's shoes, toys and whatever else they've left in my path, and I bail on dinner at least once a week - scrambled eggs and raw veggies etc - when DH won't be home for dinner. Did I mention I feel totally insane half the time with the demands of just the kids and DH? So I have NO IDEA how you hold it all together mentally AND physically get it all done in just 24/7. Seriously my hat's off to you. Working moms, single moms, wow. Please pat yourselves on the back for getting through today and every day. Hope someone told all of you today how very much you are getting done and what a great job you ARE DOING,
You know, some of the issues differ, but the reality is that it's hard to get much done when you're home with the kids. Between dh & I, someone has been home the past 3 days with the kids. I managed to do the dishes & wipe down the kitchen yesterday & dh managed to get both kids out of the house & to Taco Bell today. Yes, we rock. Dh thought he was going to work from home today & he got nothing done. Ds #2 was an utter nightmare. Total crankster. Let's face it. Small children are wonderful but they suck you dry.
I will forward you the photo dh took today of the boys. LOL!
Sometimes I take her grocery shopping when I pick her up at daycare at 4:30, or to the museum or park to play. Usually we go straight home. We're very laid back once we get home. I'm not much of a cook; I just try to throw something together and we eat in front of the TV. She goes to bed at 8:30.