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Need potty training how-to's and how gross would this be?

August 16 2012 at 10:23 AM
Maggie in VA  (Login maggie1961)

Yesterday, the day care left coupons for pull-ups in the kids' bins. I knew that they were putting them on the potty, and I knew that the diaper pile wasn't going down very fast, but every time I tried to talk about it with the boys (27 mos) at home, I got massive resistance. "We're going to start learning to use the potty!" "No." "Don't you want to wear pull-ups or underwear like the big boys?" "No." "Big boys make pee-pee and poo-poo in the potty!" "No." I didn't want to set us up for failure, but when I chatted up their teacher, she said they were using the potty. As usual, they've been playing me.

At around 18 mos., we started with the potty seat, but it became mostly a ploy to get into the Forbidden Bathroom, and I started being stricter about behavior and their interest waned, along with my patience. I have been slogging our way out of a number of regressive behaviors in the wake of a period of illnesses, one of DH's parents is terminally ill and the other needs assisted living, and I had planned to put potty training after getting rid of bottles. But if day care is forging on, I definitely want to be working with them, not against them.

So, this morning I bought our first pull-ups and took some to the day care. It is going to be a major PIA to interrupt fixing dinner to put them on the potty, but about 45 min-hour after coming home is usually when they make a poo.

Soooo, at bedtime, though, I should put them in regular diapers? This morning I put them on the potty, but they didn't make their poos; probably too early. Trying to intercept Bob's poo is going to be tricky; sometimes he already has a poo when I come to his crib, other times it's 30-45 min. Fred is more consistently about 45 min-hr. I'll accept any and all advice.

As for the question about gross, I bought two First Years (I think) combo step-stools and potties second-hand. The outsides were fairly clean, but let's just say I would have cleaned up the insides more to Freecycle something, never mind sell. I'm thinking of putting them in the dishwasher. But is that too disgusting? I mean, everything should get sterilized.

Maggie (in VA)

 
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Clea
(Login Clea12)

I'll jump right to the end

August 16 2012, 11:27 AM 

Do not put them in the dishwasher. It is gross!!!!
Fill the tub with warm water and bleach (5% bleach by volume) and let them soak. That should take care of sterilizing. Scrub if neccessary.

I would never eat from a dishwasher where the potty has been in. Sorry!

As far as the training goes, I tried to go the way you're doing and wasn't very successful. Then i used the 3 day boot camp method with DD when she was 28 months. It worked very well. GL

C

 
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Maggie in VA
(Login maggie1961)

*Sigh*, gearing up for boot camp difficult with current pressures.

August 16 2012, 12:01 PM 

And I'm not sure they're ready for it. Going to listen to what people have to say. Maggie (in VA)

 
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Clea
(Login Clea12)

I hear you

August 16 2012, 1:56 PM 

I actually found it more stressful and a lot of time consuming before i did the boot camp. I used to have her in front of TV or reading a book in the potty and wait for a long time for her to go. I lost my patience. The good thing I found about the boot camp is that since she was butt naked, she was still paying around and then when she had to go she would just use the portable potty. She had no interest in staying there for long period of times. The bad thing is you have to dedicate 2-3 days, but for me it was all worth it. 2 months after i switched her to the real potty.

Hope things work out for you. Potty training is stressful in itself. If your life is alredy full, it becomes a headache.

C.


 
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(Login Raindrops1)

Yup, pretty gross.

August 16 2012, 11:33 AM 

I can't remember a darn thing about potty training my DD a million years ago. So I jumped to the end of your question to find out what would be so gross. I wouldn't put them in the dishwasher. I think it is just the thought of it that bugs me. In reality it would probably be just fine, but I still wouldn't do it. But I would wash them all by themselves in my bathtub with really hot water and dishwashing soap.

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Maggie in VA
(Login maggie1961)

Yeah, the reason I even ask about the gross question . . .

August 16 2012, 11:41 AM 

Is I've been trying for a week to get around to washing out those things in the tub, and that's after 6 weeks or so of just putting it on the back burner with the derecho, my debilitated inlaws, and the twins' illnesses. I guess it's just crazy talk kickin' in. Maggie (in VA)


    
This message has been edited by maggie1961 on Aug 16, 2012 11:42 AM


 
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Aufrecht
(Login Aufrecht)

No good advice but sympathy

August 16 2012, 12:44 PM 

It is tough. With 2 of them and everything else going on it really is up to you. It seems they are "ready" evidenced by their daycare behavior but you(?) may not be totally ready just because of all the stress involved?Does it matter if it happens this month or next month? Maybe cut yourself some slack on this one.

I am also a big fan of the bleach bath for all items freecycled.


My 34 month old is now totally trained except for nights. ( I can't hold it for 12 hours so I don't really expect her to. Plus right now I don't want her wandering to get up and go potty) We had some regressions, mostly associated with her getting twin baby brothers when she was 30 months and now it is ok. It was just a long process but slowly but surely she got there. She still sometimes doesn't want to go if she is involved in playing but I just tell her, yes, it is time to sit on the potty.

Good Luck and let us know how it goes.

 
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BlessedThistle
(Login Blessed_Thistle)

You know we just started less than 2 weeks ago?

August 16 2012, 2:26 PM 

I really think there is something to be said for waiting. It's been pretty stress-free. An accident here and there but they are doing so well overall. I know it's not the only answer but for us, it has been a good one.

[linked image]

[linked image]


 
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(Login FLGal)

I agree

August 16 2012, 4:01 PM 

Wait until they're ready. F was a breeze b/c he dictated when we did it. How old are the boys again? F was about 24 months. I still have him in pullups at night. You've gotta cut yourself some slack where you can. My friend did boot camp & it about killed her - and she only has 1. And her boy wasn't really any faster than mine.

 
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Veesha
(Login Veesha)

We put our little guy in regular diapers for a while...

August 16 2012, 6:06 PM 

and he did go in them at night, but once he was dry 1 or 2 mornings, we decided to put him in underpants and to use the mattress protector that we got at the hospital when we had him (nothing gets through those).

But when we went to underwear, one of us got up religiously and took him to the bathroom 1 time in the middle of the night. It was typically 4 hours after ds went to bed and usually right before we went to bed, but not always. We did not awaken him but rather carried him, put him on the big toilet let him go, then picked him up and carried him back to bed.

After about a month or 2 of that, we decided to see what would happen if we didn't take him to the potty in the middle of the night. What we found was that he actually had developed a very strong bladder, or had conditioned himself not to go unless we took him.

I also must say that we have never been in favor of restricting his liquids close to bedtime, although many do. It's just like his body adjusted to not going to the potty mid-sleep.

On the very rare occasion that he has had to go to the bathroom in the middle of the night, he has awakened himself if he had to go (of course he didn't want to go alone so someone had to accompany him, but that was okay...he wasn't having accidents in bed). The method has seemed to teach him to be aware of the sensation of him needing to go to the bathroom, instead of relying on us.

Now all of that said, it took us a good bit of time to potty train in the 1st place because my dh wanted to start WAAAAAYYYY before ds was ready. So it was quite frustrating for the little guy and me. But, when he was ready, it worked quite well with rewards and such. By 2-and-a-half he was doing both urine and bms in the potty.

As for the diaper we used for night training, I found a diaper that was labeled nighttime (pull ups were not absorbent enough for nights) and got the largest size, which was for a child much larger than he was. It was great because of the size they were super absorbent.

All the best to you. It seems to take forever until one day you child starts getting through without accidents and it's hard to remember when they didn't happy.gif





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MW
(Login miserablewife)

A few ideas for you

August 17 2012, 1:36 AM 

1. Dont rush them. If they dont have an interest, I just wouldnt push it. I waited for my kids to tell me they wanted no more diapers, and it was no trouble to potty train either of them.
2. If they are ready, then forget about the pullups and put them in training underwear (4 layers thick). Pullups only make the process take longer, and I think theyre confusing to a child because they feel just like diapers. And an investment in training underwear is a whole lot cheaper than months and months of pullups. Save pullups for car and plane travel. I highly recommend the training undies at Hanna Andersson (a little pricey, but worth it)
3. Rewards, rewards, rewards. Here is what got my little guy going #2 on the potty (he enjoys using the potty, but was having alot of accidents only for #2)

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B005F8CFNC/ref=asc_df_B005F8CFNC2141447?smid=A38LPEX1R76E9P&tag=shopzilla_mp_1420-20&linkCode=asn&creative=395105&creativeASIN=B005F8CFNC

My son absolutely adores dinosaurs, and anything that glows in the dark. The price at Amazon is ridiculous (go to Toys R Us, theyre under $20) The nice thing is that they are a set of 10, so you can let the child choose one for each successful visit to the potty. I told him if he earns all the dinosaurs, Ill buy him the train set to go with the dinosaurs.

You gotta be creative with kids....you know (or will figure out) what will motivate your two.

Good luck. It will happen, I promise.....on their time!

MW

 
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Maggie in VA
(Login maggie1961)

Thanks, I guess my concern is mixed messages . . .

August 17 2012, 9:53 AM 

If the day care is moving on with potty training and feels they're ready for it. I don't think the day care would be telling me this if the twins weren't cooperating there, and I am soooooo happy to have them at a day care that is proactive, because I've read several times that indifferent day care is one reason why so many kids are in diapers at older ages. And their prompting coincides with a deepening sense of diaper fatigue on my part.

The twins have some Hanna Andersson clothes that my brother's partner gave me, and I love them -- most of my kids' clothes are hand-me-downs, thrift store, or Walmart -- and reading Pinkduck's thread, I like her approach, but I worry a little that pull-ups over undies might be too warm, at least till the weather cools down here (She's in Oz, right? It's winter there, I guess.) Still, I wonder whether they're worth the extra moolah.

Thanks everyone, and keep it coming.

Maggie (in VA)

 
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(Login Blessed_Thistle)

My kids' old day care pretty much forced this on us

August 17 2012, 1:28 PM 

I knew my kids were not ready and asked repeatedly for them to lay off the potty. So glad we switched to one willing to follow my kids' lead. I think Jonathan would have been ready sooner but Sarah literally till a few weeks ago had never, ever, ever peed on the potty and this despite giving it an earnest effort when she sat on it (we were pretty informal and whatever-will-be-will-be and they both were sitting on it at times, with Jonathan performing once a day or so but poor Sarah just did not connect the dots till very recently. Now she is a pro! One accident all day yesterday and she wore her big girl panties! Woo woo!)

[linked image]

[linked image]


 
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Pinkduck
(Login duckfamily)

Hey there

August 17 2012, 4:33 PM 

I am in VA too - rural south of DC and OMG - yes it has been hot. I only do the pullups and undies for trips away from home. Training Undies at home. I got cheap training undies from Amazon: Oh gosh - check out these cute ones for girls: http://www.amazon.com/Carters-Girls-Rainbow-Training-Multi/dp/B004YJCTI4/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1345246296&sr=8-1&keywords=training+underwear


 
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Ariadne
(Login ariadne2)

We did boot camp, BUT

August 17 2012, 6:56 AM 

1. He was 3 yrs. 1.5 months old & was showing zero interest in getting there himself. And I mean zero interest.

2. We didn't follow the exact method to the T. We stayed in the house with him in underwear, though, the entire time.

3. It took 4 FULL days. I have friends who did it in 2-3 days, but it took us 4 full days, so I would strongly encourage you to do it when you are off of work & have a stretch of time. We chose Dec. 27th to start, b/c we are off (daycare closed!) between Christmas & New Year's Day. Everyone left the 26th & we started the next day. In the end, to get him to sit on the potty, we had to put it in the livingroom & play a DVD on the lap top or TV. Otherwise, it was impossible to keep him sitting long enough for nature to take its course.

4. Know your children. It did not become a huge power struggle for him. For some kids, it is & then things can get ugly. In hindsight, I know he simply wasn't connecting the dots. Once he did, on day 4 in the evening, we were there & we've never looked back.

5. 27 months is young still & you have twins, so cut yourself some slack. If you try the boot camp method, wait until you're fully committed (you have to be b/c it's MISERABLE) & you truly feel they are ready.



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jkl
(Login JKL41903)

having the same problem

August 21 2012, 9:14 AM 


I'm lurking from the playgroup board but just wanted to say that I am having the exact same experience with my 2 yr old. I Pick her up from daycare and they glowingly report that she has stayed dry all day, which is a shocker for me because she doesn't want to go on the potty at home. She is younger, 24 mo, but she started going on the potty about 6 months ago and i thought this might all be easy. But no, she seems to have lost all interest in the potty at home. So I'm in a quandary about what to do, not sure I'm up for bootcamp and feeling a bit like she may be too young for it (or maybe I'm just being lazy?). I am not in a big hurry for potty training but because of the daycare situation she seems to be doing 2 different things, potty at daycare and then just go in her diapers at home!! Anyway, I will continue to lurk and see how your situation turns out! GL!

jkl

 
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