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Just starting my DE journey and looking for support

July 18 2015 at 7:24 PM
Anon  (Login AS8265)

Hi ladies,

We recently found out that our last IVF cycle with my eggs (IVF cycle #10) ended in a chemical pregnancy. We're now planning on moving forward with donor egg but I'm feeling pretty anxious, upset, traumatized, etc. etc. I was wondering if there are any women out there that would be willing to be my "donor egg pen pal" happy.gif. I'm just looking for some women who have successfully been through this process who would be willing to email with me and help me as I figure out how all this works. I know there are women out there who have successfully done this-you are all a testament to that, and I'm just looking to connect with you from time to time. I live in Massachusetts. Please feel free to leave me your email or email me at kfrancis154@gmail.com. Thank you so much!

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(Login LSinMI)

Hello and welcome

July 18 2015, 9:21 PM 

Hello AS8265,

Firstly, I'm sorry for your losses and welcome to the forum. You aren't alone. We've all been at the same cross roads where you stand today.

You've got an entire group here who are willing to help in anyway they can. You can post questions here and you'll get answers pretty quickly.

I'd give you my email but my schedule is a bit hit or miss these days since the birth of my twins 4 months ago.

Wishing you the very best!

This message has been edited by LSinMI on Jul 18, 2015 9:25 PM

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(Login green.elephant)


July 18 2015, 11:19 PM 

Hi there! Welcome - I have a 2 year old via DE. I found the Parents Via Egg Donation (PVED) incredibly helpful and supportive - as well as the book, "The Insider's Guide to Egg Donation" - in your shoes I'd start with those resources. 10 cycles! Wow - that's really tough. It's hard to not get too excited after so many roadblocks, but DE statistically has a great chance of working and we're lucky to have the option. Good luck!

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(Login finch9)

Success Here

July 20 2015, 8:12 AM 

Hi, and so sorry about what you've been through. That definitely is trauma and takes some healing. Be kind to yourself.

I have a two-year-old daughter conceived with a donated egg. She was six years in the making, and I only within the past year feel healed from all I went through with infertility. She is a joy beyond joys to my husband and me. I'll never forget all those years of tears and endless disappointment, but they seem like a dream to me now; my reality is so different now.

You're in a different ball game now, in terms of odds. Just take it one step at a time, as you learn how it all works and make decisions. It can feel very overwhelming and unfamiliar, but it's actually fairly straightforward if you take it one decision at a time. The women on this board are AMAZING! Both in terms of their knowledge and their big, supportive hearts.

I went through Shady Grove Fertility Clinic and had a great experience there. Other women here were very happy with other clinics. Pretty much anything you could ask, someone will have experience with it.

Big hug, and welcome to the donor egg community!

p.s. you can email me at finchnine at gmail dot com.

This message has been edited by finch9 on Jul 20, 2015 8:16 AM

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(Login De22)


July 20 2015, 1:38 PM 

if you happen to live in Texas (or are willing to travel), I can recommend some very good clinics for you.

Good luck.

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Mrs. M
(Login CAR67)

MA DE Mom here

July 20 2015, 4:56 PM 

Welcome to this board. As others have said lots of great women here with lots of knowledge and great hearts. I have a 2 1/2 year old DE daughter and am currently 33 weeks pregnant with my second DE baby. The journey to get here was not easy but the the amazing joy and love I have found over the last two and a half years has helped my heart to heal from the heartache of the years of struggle. Like finch from the previous post, I found success at Shady Grove Clinic. Prior to cycling at SG, I cycle with OE and did DE cycle at large MA clinic but did not find success. If you are self pay the guarantee program at SG helps to relieve some of the stress about spending a small fortune and coming home empty handed. The clinic makes out of town cycling very easy.

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(Login Gotlucky2014)

Dear Anon

July 20 2015, 8:18 PM 

I too spent so much time and $$ in own egg. And my main reason was that I was fairly young. Then trusting different doctor each time. I also had few failed DE cycles but with a bad clinic, meaning a clinic that has low success rate. i even gravelled internationally. Finally I got success with SG a FET cycle. It is amazing how fresh didn't work and frozen one worked. What I liked about the time I was with SG is the peace of mind I had. Success or my $$ back. You came the right place, honestly. This board has saved my life and still I came here for help.
I wish you good luck.


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(Login AS8265)

Thank you for making me feel so welcome in this journey!

July 23 2015, 5:37 PM 

Thank you SO very much to all you wonderful mamas out there who responded to my post. Sometimes this whole thing just seems like such as crazy science experiment and I wonder if I am crazy to embark on it. Knowing that all of you are out there and are happy and have had success means all the difference to me. I sometimes wonder if I will ever feel whole again. I wonder if I will ever be happy and not be obsessed with fertility...always wondering when the next shoe is going to drop and the next loss will happen. I 'm hoping that this will be our answer and I will come out the other side. My doc says that I am an ideal donor egg candidate so well will see. I'm sure that I will have many, many questions as I embark on this journey and really appreciate you ladies taking the time and willingness to help me. Thank you thank you thank you!!

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AC in Boston
(Login GeminiWW)

welcome and best of luck

August 3 2015, 1:05 PM 

It sounds like you've been through a grueling time. 10 cycles... I'm sorry you've had such a tough time. Your tenacity will be rewarded through DE. I hung in there with my own eggs longer than I should have but I just wasn't ready. I'm so thankful I finally accepted this option. I was successful with my second DE transfer. My twins are 7 months now. My infertility battle scars are slowly fading. But not so quickly that I don't look in on my babes every night and remark on how lucky I am. I nearly gave up.

I'm in MA and I did a solo DE cycle at a large clinic. Thank God for the insurance in MA! It was nice to stay local and have plenty of embryos to work with. At that point I really needed some pressure off. I'm happy to connect via email if you're looking for local support. Take good care and best of luck with this leg of your journey.

This message has been edited by GeminiWW on Aug 3, 2015 1:05 PM

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(Login loochieuk)

Hi! I see that you have had a lot of IVF cycles (m/c ment)

August 1 2015, 1:18 AM 

using OE and just wondered whether you and DH have had any testing to make sure that there are not any other issues which may affect your success with donor eggs?

Sadly, DE will only work if the issues is egg related and not any other issues which will affect OE and DE equally.

I know this as sadly I had 3 OE miscarriages and 3 donor egg miscarriages before being diagnosed with issues that were treated before my successful cycle (twins who are now 9 years old!).

Just let me know if you would like a list of potential tests.


Daisy xxx

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