First of all, I think that the physical and hormonal response to miscarriage add a lot to the emotional response. Depression is pretty normal. I can certainly relate to getting so wrapped up in the infertility and loss that it was hard to see the light, or even to go through life normally.
I was diagnosed with high fsh (17.5) two years ago. I had two miscarriages within a year, both at 9.5 weeks, the first one after seeing the heartbeat. My 40th birthday had come and gone, and I thought that was it for me. We kept trying the natural way, but I was nudging my partner in the direction of adoption, since I had given up hope. I was wrong. I conceived again 8 months after the miscarriage, and was terrified all the way through the first trimester. It was only after 12 weeks that I started to believe I might actually have a baby. This week was my big ultrasound, 21 weeks, and everything looks perfect.
High FSH does mean that many of the eggs that are left are not great quality, but there ARE good ones in there. Try to reclaim the good in your life that is separate from TTC, but don't give up on your hope for a baby. You could very well conceive this cycle.
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