It's really sad that in these times, it's almost expected...m
by Karen (no login)
for a mother to return to work by the time the kids are all off to school.
I often wish we lived in the 60's where mom's stayed home and took care of the house/kids and it only took one income to pay the bills.
I'm not planing on returning to work for a while. This is why:
1) If I go back to work, I'll be doing 2 full time jobs(keeping up with the house/kids) & working outside of the house and I refuse to kill myself just so we can have more "stuff".
2) We plan to remodel the entire house after dd goes back to school(one room at a time). If I went back to work, dh and I would not have the extra time to do this ourselves so we'd have to hire someone to do much of it so, I'd be working to pay someone else to so something I enjoy doing.
3) I want to be a big part of DD's education-->volunteer at the school a couple days a week. I couldn't do that if I worked.
4) I worked for a year when the boys were younger and we were NO better off financially. Instead of shopping for and cooking nutritious meals, I was constantly picking up fast food or frozen meals to save time. I had no time to bargain shop nor did I care what anything cost. I blew a lot of money trying to buy time.
5) Fortunately my dh's income does pay the bills, we have everything we "need." Sure it would be nice to have more(toys) but there will always be more "stuff" we want...that's life. The more you make, the more you spend and stuff doesn't make us happy...being unstressed and happy with ourselves/our families does.
6) I want my kids to be active in sports & after school activities and I want dh AND I to be able to be there for all of that but if I worked, they would have to limit in what they did and honestly, dh and I could NOT attend everything.
7) Family time is very important to me. During the summer we go to the lake and we take the kids camping a LOT but the year I worked...we didn't go once. I just didn't have the time or energy to put it together.
8) I refuse to let society make me feel guilty or lazy for choosing to stay home. I am simply putting family first...over material items.
9) Having teens, I know how much MORE they need you at home at the end of the day than even small children do. It's hard to keep track of what your teen is into/doing/who they are hanging around with as it is. If I worked, I'd be clueless. Teens REALLY need a LOT, of guidance, attention and monitoring and an empty house(even for an hour after school is just asking for trouble...too much temptation). My firends dd just had an abortions(age 17) and her mom doesn't even know she's even having sex yet! Isn't that so sad? Her mom works has NO idea what her dd is doing when she's not around.
You'll will understand this more when your kids are a bit older. Teens(even the best of them) can get into trouble so quickly when they have too much time on their hands and not enough adult supervision.
Good luck Liz, with what ever you decide. Some women are happier working but when I went back...there was just a lot of stress and resentment. It nearly distroyed our family/marriage.
After I quit, I never once asked my dh to help with housework again(I realized it was wrong of me to do that). Now he does his part(going to work) and I do mine(house work) and we both share/enjoy the kids/family activities and we are both VERY happy in our rolls. Maybe old fashion but it make for a happy home.