Ingrid, I wish I knew the right words to say to you...February 20 2007 at 7:34 AM
|Faith (no login)|
Response to Why do I even bother? Does anyone else feel like this?....
This is just so hard. I feel the way you do too and it is just a loop that plays in my head over and over and over. Right now I am trying to figure out how to leap past this and get on with my life, but I can't figure out how. And DH and I are definitely not in the same place about this. He flat out says that he cannot understand why I would want to be pregnant again and what is the big deal with having a baby anyway?!! He would like another child so our DD has a sibling, but thinks adoption is clearly the way to go. As far as he is concerned we are done trying -- even naturally. We can't even talk about it without it turning into a screaming match about all the what ifs. And meanwhile my sweet DD's life passes by with Mommy and Daddy so completely consumed with something else.
I guess I'm not making you feel better just venting myself. But you can see you are not alone. I have been thinking of finding a counselor to help me work through these feelings. But that in itself is hard because I just don't want to have one more commitment that is connected to IF.
I guess my best advice to you right now is to enjoy the wonderful vacation with your family. You really do have a family in every sense of the word, even if it is not exactly as you had planned.