One of the worst things someone with secondary IF can hear is that we should feel very lucky. No one who says this certainly means to hurt us, but it hurts. I wouldn't tell someone with no children that she should feel very lucky about anything, even if she has lots of blessings. I can't put myself in her place, but I offer sympathy and as much empathy as I can. I only ask the same in return.
http://www.network54.com/Forum/209394/message/1301586770/Let+me+try+to+explain...