I use to post on these boards a last year, but not very often. However, I read all the boards daily. I am really in a bad state. I have been trying for #2 for 3 long years. I am getting sick of the whole thing. I have been trying to get DH to go the donor route for over a year now and he still will not do it. I am truly blessed to have an amazing 5 year old DS, who is a pure joy to me. But, with having him naturally, before I knew what FSH was...I didn't think that there would be an issue with having another. Who would have thought, that I would develop an autoimmune thyroid disease and my husband would have male factor issues. Secondary IF really sucks!!!
In the 3 years that we have been trying for another, my sister had her second in 2005 and is now expecting again. While, I am happy for her, it is painful for me. I just can't seem to catch a break. All I want is for my DS to have a sibling...but I guess that is too much to ask.
I am sorry to go on and on...but I have been terribly depressed since my sister told me a few days ago. It just really stings.....
I hope that I have not offended anyone..I just needed to get this off my chest.
Thanks,
Kelly
ME: 38
DH: 41
DS: 5 (3/2003)
TTC 2: 3 years
DX: Hashimoto's w/super-sized FSH
Wanting to move on to DE....DH not so sure:(
I'm visiting from the playgroup and just had to respond.
My heart goes out to you. IF truly does sucks. Took me three years to finally get my second miracle, 4 years for my first. IF sucks and the waiting is torture. Agony.
You know what? I found it much harder to deal with pg in my immediate family. Really hard.
When friends got pg or my cyber friends, I was over the moon for them but my SILs? Very hard. Never could figure out why.
Have you tried TCM? If not, consider doing it for 6mos, 3mos minimum.
sending you big hugs and good fert vibes
julie
Thanks for responding to my post. Yes, I have been doing TCM on and off for 2 years, which did help me, as I stopped getting AF all together. With my sister expecting #3 now, this is just bad timing, as I have been on BCP's for 2 months for a medicated IUI or IVF (if I get a good reponse to the drugs, G*d willing). Ugh...this just plain sucks!! I agree with you that it is easier to deal with when it is friends or co-worker, but with my sister, I can't get away from it. I hope in a few days I can get pass this.
Thanks again for responding Julie, you are always so helpful and kind toward others!!
Take care,
Kelly
ME: 38
DH: 41
DS: 5 (3/2003)
TTC 2: 3 years
DX: Hashimoto's w/super-sized FSH
Wanting to move on to DE....DH not so sure:(
I'm so sorry for what you are going through. I too am trying for #2. I have 2 yr old DS. I'm 33 and tried 2 yrs to get my #1 and have been trying exactly one year for #2 with nothing. This is a very difficult road. I feel like all of my happiness is wrapped up in DS and feel numb outside of him. Most of my friends are pg with #2 with some even talking about #3. The sadness can be overwhelming. By the way, this bd moves slow but we are out here so write when you need. Thinking of you, Kendall.
Thank you for your kind words. Yes, my happiness as well is wrapped up in DS and feel numb to everything else. I am glad that I discovered these boards 2 years ago, so there are other women going through the same thing as me. When I use to post, the board was a bit more active and moved a lot quicker.
I wish for you and for all of us, that we achieve our dream of providing a sibiling for our dear little ones!!
Thanks again,
Kelly
ME: 38
DH: 41
DS: 5 (3/2003)
TTC 2: 3 years
DX: Hashimoto's w/super-sized FSH
Wanting to move on to DE....DH not so sure:(
this is really really hard. I'm right there with you. sisters are the hardest (oh, and best friends and exes' new wives!!!)
hang in there.
Me 39, HIghest FSH 79 June 08
DH 44 SA great
Grade 1V endo since puberty, many laps and bowel surgeries, hashimotos
DD born 2000 after 8 years of ttc
new DH
herbs, diet, acup, yoga bring endo symptoms into line
ttc#2 3years no bfps
FSH went high aug 06, labile.
Three failed ivfs, two converted to IUI, 2 chems. several no-starts due to high fsh.
May IVF cancelled due to high CD2 FSH. Getting lipiodol tx in Auckland and hope to do a antagonist cycle, home or away, June.
Freaky hormones after bcps...fsh 79!
Looking at DE and adoption.
Thanks so much for the kind words. I was hoping that this would not bother me, but this time it does. It is nice that there are others here that understand.
Take care,
Kelly
ME: 38
DH: 41
DS: 5 (3/2003)
TTC 2: 3 years
DX: Hashimoto's w/super-sized FSH
Wanting to move on to DE....DH not so sure:(
I'm glad you could find some comfort in this board. You are not alone... I am 38, have a 3 y.o. DS (the light of my life!!!), have been ttc #2 for 2+ years, DH is not on board with DE, and my sister is Fertile Myrtle. Like, she chooses what month to get pg, can feel herself ovulate, and she's pg 2 weeks later. (Times 3.) It's hard to understand why it's so hard for some and so dang easy for others! It's NOT fair.
I hope you can find some peace, and I wish you all the luck in the world!
Thank you for the lovely message. You have a "Fertile Myrtle" sister as well. Yes, this so hard. I just want to catch a break. Thanks for the support. I wish you luck in your TTC #2 as well.
Take care,
Kelly
ME: 38
DH: 41
DS: 5 (3/2003)
TTC 2: 3 years
DX: Hashimoto's w/super-sized FSH
Wanting to move on to DE....DH not so sure:(
We had primary IF and it took 6 years to get ds#1. We had three m/c befor egetting him. During the time we were trying my sister got pg. Her and her dh were both umeployed at the time and they had said they never wanted another baby. She didn't even tell me until she was almost 6 months along and her shower was on the due date of the pg we lost before Tanner. I don't think I have ever had so many mixed emotions. Of course I was happy for her since she changed her mind and wanted another baby but they couldn't afford it, etc. Fortunately I ended up pg with Tanner before she had my niece or I am sure that would have been even harder. We have had one m/c and one more ds since then. We are now crazy and going for a third. I guess we will see what happens. I have high fsh and dh has severe male factor and we are getting older so I guess onlt time will tell. Anyway, I just wanted you to know that you are certainly not alone and it is okay to feel the way you do. Good luck!
Yes, secondary IF sucks, and I know just what you mean about how much it STINGS to hear about someone else's pregnancy. Like you, I've been trying for over 3 years after a natural, easy conception (also before I'd ever heard of FSH). Which I had words of wisdom, but just thought I'd offer a cyber-hug. I know your pain.
Thank you for the kind words. It is really nice to find other women going through the same thing I am and who can understand the pain. Yes, secondary IF does suck. I wish you good luck in your TTC #2.
Take care,
Kelly
ME: 38
DH: 41
DS: 5 (3/2003)
TTC 2: 3 years
DX: Hashimoto's w/super FSH & male factor
Wanting to move on to DE..DH not so sure
