I suppose you could check into some kind of surgery. You could also try using plenty of water-based lube, or you could just get another boyfriend with a smaller dick.
The Big V
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After 31 years together, 30 married, my wife and I finally figured out that I was indeed to big for her, we had always assumed I was average. We spent many years trying to find a cause for the pain she experienced during intercourse: vaginitis, UTI, psychological, etc. We avoided intercourse because she doesn't enjoy pain and I don't want to cause her pain.
If it was't for oral sex, there wouldn't have been any sex over the years. We would attempt intercourse once or twice a year without success, we were very frustrated. Last year my wife had to have a hysterectomy, during her recovery we talked about what sex meant to us and we tried to take a positive approach but when we were able to try intercourse again she experienced pain, and tearfully she said "Maybe you are just to big for me." Well I looked into it and I had to apologize to her, I have a larger girth than most men.
We ordered some glass dildos to help her stretch her vaginal walls, and they have helped her become a little more capable of taking me in; we did find that there are hardly any dildos that approach the size needed, one we ordered got close, so we have had to order a custom one that is being made to order, it should be shipping soon. Glass (actually Pyrex) dildo's are very smooth, can hold heat and are easy to clean. We highly recommend them. PassionGlass.com is a good source.
Her vagina is still overly snug but it is definitely not as tight as before, and I don't get as sore either.
Last week I got the surprise of my life, she told me that she had been practicing using her dildo's in her ass and we could try anal intercourse! She lubed up her dildo's starting with the smaller diameter's first and soon she was guiding me into her! I have got to say that was some of the most thrilling strokes I have ever made in her. Her ass was much looser than her vagina has ever been.
If you have the desire and are willing to play regularly with increasing diameter lubed dildo's you too will be able to accommodate a larger penis. My wife does her stretches in the mornings and evenings whenever possible. She says that sometimes it is just exercise and sometimes it's playing. Good for her!
We are looking forward to lots more pleasure in the future.
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You know, I actually have many many women email me with this problem. It seems that just like men can have all shapes and sizes of penises, vaginas can come in all different shapes and sizes as well.
But outside of surgery and good lube, there really isn't much you can about this. I really did mean it when I said that for some women the solution is to find a different boyfriend, because the alternative (which is stop having intercourse with him) probably isn't going to go over to well.
But if you're really in love and he can go slow, make sure you're properly lubricated and all that, then maybe you have a chance. But continuing to have painful sex is not going to be the answer for you. So depending on the strength of your relationship, and your finances, perhaps surgery is an option. I don't like to recommend it for cosmetic reasons because men seem to find all vaginas way more attractive than women do, but it might ease your pain.
The Big V
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My vagina is also BIG and its making me really depressed as i am married and cannot get credit for surgery. my vag only feels alittle tighters when i put myself in a certain position. we had a chat he said it was ok but i am not convinced. i,v tried baby powder to make it drier but that soon wears off i have also tried doing it with a tampon in. I did also try super glue but the glue doesnt attach itself to me and just feel hard and falls away. Now i am getting very tempted to burn it and hope that the scar tissue will pull it together or cover over some of my entrance or cutting it and sewing it uo myself OH! PLEAS GIVE ME SOME HELPING ADVISE THIS PROBLEM IS REALLY GETTING TO ME
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I would agree that using a good water-based lube will help. Also plenty of foreplay and attention to your pussy prior to penetration will help you relax and penetration won't (shouldn't be) painful. My recent experience with a man who was remarkably larger then I'm used to proved that with sufficient lube I was able to take his rather large penis and it was incredible. I won't resort to surgery.
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My fiance and I are both virgins and have been trying to have sex for quite some time, but he can never get inside of my vaginal opening. At first we thought he wasn't aiming for the correct spot but I had him to examine my vaginal area to find the correct opening and he did. He just cant get inside. He tried his finger and he got in but it felt awkard and hurt when he pressed to hard to stretch it. He thinks my vaginal opening may be to tight or small and it probably is. I try to relax but I tend to tense up down there when I feel him making it even harder for him to get inside. I thought that I was wet enough because he always is thinking that I have already cum so maybe I'm not as lubricated as I think. I wanted to know what we can do to loosen up and stretch my vagina so he can get inside.
Also does any males have any tips on how to get the penis fully erected and keep it because my fiance penis does have an erection when we are trying to penetrate but it is not rock solid and I think it would better help him to get inside if his penis was rock hard. Through the process of trying to get in, he starts to go soft and its hard to get him back up again. So any help and tips would be greatly appreciated. We are getting married in six months and I dont want to have these same problems on our wedding night which is why we are trying go ahead and do it now so we wont spend that night trying to get him inside of me.
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let him in, the first time is always painful but you have to bear, susequent encounters aare always smooth and lovely. Please, please let him in and the whole thinh wont be a bother any more.
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After reading your post I felt compelled to reply, because I think I really understand what is going on.
Sex is very important. To a man and a woman about to get married - it can be one of the most important subjects. You have been trying and trying, each time feeling more frustration than pleasure.
Even the fact that you know you should be feeling pleasure makes you frustrated.
That has to be terrible, but luckily, the two of you will be able to work it out. Based on the way you feel (from what you said in your post), and the question you had about your partner's hardness - you are in luck. Both of you have the same problem, and luckily it is something you can change.
Someone may have told you that you only need to relax. This is absolutely true, but it can be incredibly difficult for both women and men to relax. Sex is important, problems with it cause stress. Stress makes for bad sex. Which makes for more stress.
I believe the way for you, the two of you, to enjoy this experience will be a simple exercise:
Get naked
Get close
Feel a penis
Feel a vagina
Don't have sex. Let it happen, if it will. You have been caught up worrying about your vagina, which makes you too small. He has been worrying about his penis, which makes it too soft.
If the two of you really talk about this, and you let him know you enjoy what he has - regardless of whether it's hard or huge or even inside of you - he'll have a good time. Have the same talk with yourself - whatever your body wants to do is okay. However the two of you happen to fit together is okay. Practice just asking yourself the question - what is my body feeling right this moment?
I think a lot of people get together, take their clothes off, try to stick it in, and assume they are actually having a good time. After all, that's what sex is, right? Man sticking it inside woman?
The good time doesn't happen unless you are really focused on what's going on - not what is going to happen next.
If sex was just about a hard thing sticking in a soft thing, we could just build machines to do it. Sex is about people, and appreciating the sensations we are having. The more you think about what "should" be happening, the less you are really enjoying the sensations your body and the other person's body are feeling.
Nature will take it's course, if we get out of it's way.
Enjoy
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You need not worry. One thing is clear you are newly initiated into sex. This will change as you have more and more sex. It is just growing up. I wish you are good sexlife.
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