So, recently after having sex with a friend, I was at a party and heard giggling from a group of guys, feeling uneasy I just left. Later I recieve a text saying "show me you deer foot". This group of guys were friends with the guy I slept with, apparently he told them about our encounter in deatail. I immediately felt sefl conscious and concerned. The guys said that my vagina looked like a deer foot with a sock on. Is that bad?!!! If mine isn't normal what the hell is it suppose to look like? Does their comment mean that my lips are abnormally large? I feel like I can never have sex again.... -Anxiety
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Fucking assholes. I really hate it when men (or should I say boys) do this kind of thing. It's one thing to share stories with your buddies, it's quite something else to do it in front of the girl. What a bunch of pathetic losers. First of all, confront the asshole of a "friend" that you slept with and bitch slap him for me. Second, ask him why he felt the need to do something so disrespectful to you. Third, take him out of the "friend" catagory. You don't need "friends" like that.
Now, as for your vagina. I'm sure that you are perfectly normal. Vaginas, or vulvas, more correctly, come in all shapes and sizes, and if you can't tell from this site, most men love large protruding labias. They find it incredibly sexy. If you want to see a doctor to just to be sure there is nothing wrong with you, that wouldn't be a bad idea. But my feeling is that you are just fine and probably really sexy down there. You can send me a private photo, that I will not post and I can give you my opinion on how your vulva looks. But my feeling is that you're just fine.
Next time you're around this group of guys, let them know that your "friend" has a pencil dick.
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#1: DUMP THE ASS AND SCRATCH OUT HIS PHONE NUMBER!
As a healthy male I find "camel toe" or "deer foot" very sexy. (Please note I do not usually refer to a woman's sex with such poor wording.) But unlike the dipshit "friend" of yours I would never make jokes about your shape or size.
I have heard (most) women talk to each other about men they've had sex with (good idea), but never so carelessly or with such disrespect unless the man is a true ass. Men do the same, comparing women to other women with their friends. Men like to compare women's reactions (did she scream,lose control,spasm?), how tight or lose the woman feels, how long it lasted, different positions used, and how extensive the Man's orgasm is. Usually the more unusual the position or risky the place, the better he's "scored." It's not a tally or deliberate competition with real men, but does communicate ideas and level of excitement. In younger men it's unavoidable.
Males (that is a male of the species that has not evolved beyond neaderthal and usually with a matching IQ) will spread crude observations and joke about things they find less attractive. But always these comments are seeded in their own insecurities and always always exagerated. Sometimes males (not real men) will even make up details just to win a competition with his friends.
Now hearing your "friend" spread such observations at a party with his friends AND his dork friends sent such an uncouth message to you suggests he's a true loser with Major insecurities (and so are his loser friends!) Feel free to let your girl friends know how he treated you. Dredge up every detail you don't like about him and let all your friends know the extent of his excuse-for-a-life. You can exagerate, but I don't recommend out-right lies. That way he has no recorse if he hears about it.
Calling him names, claiming a fake orgasm, or asserting he called for his mother during sex will certainly embarass his sorry ass to no end, but be careful not to push too hard lest he feels cornered and tries to strike back.
I wish you luck on finding a real man. They do exist, they just usually are hidden behind the "males." (Because males puff up and speak loud.)
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Don't let him tear you down. I have a friend who went through the same kind of anxiety you are going through. My best friend and another friend of mine had sex. Afterwards, he went around making fun of her bc of her pubic hair. He said it was blonde and straight and for some reason it was disgusting to him. I think that he felt like he had to belittle her bc he was insecure. He may have done something embarrassing that he thought she was going to tell others about. His reaction: beat her to the embarassment by making her the joke. I think your guy friend may feel the same way. He may think that he was bad in bed and you're going to tell. Whatever you do, don't let this one experience make you feel insecure about yourself. I know that something like this can be very traumatizing, but odds are that it will never happen again. Keep your head up and don't let him see how much he hurt you.
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