well this web site has been really eye opening for me. i never really knew how people felt after they left. some have struggled with issues that i have and some i think are lazy and don/t want to own there mistakes. i have been struggling with my faith since the day i got there. i wanted what everyone talked about. salvation, forgiveness, a new life through christ.but i never really felt like i understood it. of course like most of us, i went through the motions of everyday life there at mp. i always questioned my salvation. and to be quite honest i think most of the "leaders" did too. jen zank, amy patnaude,erin shanahan, to name a few. and if they didn't, i do hold them some what resposible for me not growing or learning as a christian because the made you feel that if you questioned anything that you would be stoned to death or something. i really don't worry about them anymore. they're probably all knocked up on they're 7th kid anyway. okay maybe a little bitter.:) anyway. i am 22 now, no kids, no drugs,but i am a dancer at a gentlemens club. i know that i am not living the life mp had taught me to live, bit i am happy. i still stuggle spiritually. everyday. but the one thing that i took from mp was that god loves me no matter what. and he did save me. now thats no excuse to do things that are wrong but the life that mp created for us is not reality. we each have to find our place in the world and play the cards we were delt. i have met some of the most amazing people since i left and some/most don't believe what i believe. But i would never take back a second of being with those people. the only thing i can do is never back down from what i believe, but let them know you don't have to be perfect to be a christian. or to have a relationship with god. im not by far and i still have one.