Now, MP made me very aware of good and evil and how important it is- but my problem is- how do I know if what I think is the holy spirit is really the devil? I mean how can I know? This holy spirit thing has me so confused. I guess I must not have it at all. It seems to be most at work when I am on drugs because it gives me the words to say- just like the Bible says the holy spirit will do- but drugs are evil and so that must be my self(the evil part of me) and the good part of me is God but God is a different person from me and so I am pure evil except for my body because a body is just a body- but my nature is selfish which is evil so the only way for me to be good is to believe that I am God because if I believe in evil I will become evil- and I am what I believe in. I make alot of mistakes and I cannot find peace or happiness in reality becuase there is no reality. Reality is what I make it. I truly believe that all of my answers are found in God and therefore God is everything and everyone but there is a different God that is a person that the Bible is about but the Bible doesn't make any sense to me. It is supposed to be the face of Christ you can read like a book- but I can't read people like a book. I don't know anyone except God because Christianity doesn't make any sense. Mp made me think I could apply all of that doctrine and preaching to my life as it was without making a change but I couldn't change because all could think about was God and not about how i could change because MP made me believe decision making is not important. As everyone probably knows, I make no sense spiritually- i believe that the only way to be spiritually born is to want to be so badly that you make it happen- talking is a game to me and all the answers to life lie in communication which is the transfer of words for me- I have nothing to communicate and so I am not a spiritual being- I am only a body. There is nothing to communicate but ideas- feelings- But I don't believe in myself- I only believe in God .
Wait, I've got it- I believe in this computer and in this chair and in this table, and i believe in myself and in God separately. I believe in alot of things- I'm so happy.