DEAREST? MOST DARLING? AND TO THINK WE NEVER SAID GOODBYE... im in paris ... i walked the streets after work today, despising the stare of the PARISIAN men.. their stares like a raid, moist, groping, more than a little hostile. AND HIS STARES are the ones of an artist. their stares are the ones of a theif. i remember Him the night i left... sitting in that dark room, licking his wounds like a cat lapping milk. the little bird with the broken wing. i understand it was the surrender he wanted. to stop fighting the storm and that enveloping neverending night of his, to lay down in whiteness and sleep; i understand; i had a dream that lonely night i was skin diving down a coral wall and euphoria sets in as the nitrogen builds up in my bloodstream, and the only direction is down into darkness and forgetting and i woke up. and i understood.... and i see him, walking in alleyways, sitting in vacant rooms crowded with vacant people, crowded with weeds, queen annes lace dotted with rain. sometimes u think u cannot bear life, baby blue..... but remember, theres only one virtue. the romans were right. one can bear anything. the pain we cannot endure will kill us outright. and its raining. the crows caw outside, dissonant and querolous, a perfect imitation of the damned. and this is my love letter and this is my voice like slipper satin across your chest. and here i am in paris, not letting anyone touch me because i never do you know. and one day we'll walk right through the wall. jackrabbit
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