Just keep it up Pete, soon be done, you won't regret it.
Jo
x
Just keep it up Pete, soon be done, you won't regret it.
Jo
x
dearest peter,
i know its probably been harder for you than we can ever dream in a million dreams, but i know your strong spirit will show through. you've turned over a new page in the proverbial book of life, don't turn it back.
much support from the north!
jaclyn xxxxxxx
cliche i know but you do mean so much to me - libs with you are the most endearing, exciting and beautiful band but without (as in yesteryear's travesty) are merely exciting - no offence to carlos as he's a wonderful chap (bought me two pints in the country) but it is for the good and glory of the world that you get better. Hope to see you at Finsbury, love Fionn
ps go to theusual.tk if you need somehow to while the hours
Hello again. Dal here again.

If you are well enough.
Come to the arts cafe E1 on 29th May.
We play, they play, we all play there.

PS I got a great song that you have to sing with us, if you want to that is.

xx
Pecker up old boy

Hello this is the boy from JUNKBOX. Dal. What does one say to another one. Get well sounds shit, but, get well. I was fucked up once in a while, pretty bad really, I had to make the big choice. I could have fucked it all up, said goodbye and who knows what. But I had to find the balance, you know the balance, well, it never spreads it self very fair and even. Anyway, you are the one that can sort out this shit.
You have plenty to give and plenty people are all too willing to try and take some of it, be careful.

Lets meet soon, yes?

DAL x

dearest peter,
i have no clever verse to express how much i believe in you, or how you are always in my thoughts. i hope you understand that i'll always be here for you. i am proud to call you my friend.
get well soon
jai



Hi Peter, heard you are in rehab, you have my thoughts and prayers, its not easy but the rewards are too great not to try and sometimes try again, keep your faith and all will be fine, steady as she goes, Good luck and God bless you, Gerry O' Boyle


Hello Peter, just wanted to send my love and wish you all the best, be happy, and happier. Take care, see you round
Lewis xxx
I am sorry if its rude of me to write.
I just wanted to say, keep strong and you will come out the otherside. You are a great example for me and for many others. I don't claim to know what you are feeling right now, but it wasn't long ago that i was on the edge, and i came through it. I just hope the same for you.
We all wish you peace and love and all the best.
Jon

100 years and nothing has changed 100 years and the killing continues, 100 years the flags still wave the anthems spit the borders divide 100 years and man is against man - 2 men 1 place under the same sky - 1 must get home 1 must remain - wilfred owen to donald rumsfeld - will we ever learn?

i do hope something positive shall ooze from the past week or so.
>like the handful of main players we get in every generation, you've
>so much to give, so many hearts and souls to affect, so many smiles
>yet to paint. each and every member of the family of liberty is
>thinking of you.
>
>dominic and i are looking to sort out some dates towards the end of
>the summer. perhaps a date in birmingham, cheltenham and somewhere
>else maybe. through tickets sales we shall be able to fund your
>appearance fee, which i believe to be £1000.
>
>fancy testing the water, when all is dandy and fine.
>
>dominic wants me to sort a summer date in birmingham and asked me to
>get in touch with you. let me know your thoughts, you up for a
>show? solo or shambles up....whatever.
>
>a response would warm my heart
>
>peace and love
>
>gram parsons xxx
Keep it real mate, hope your recoverey is a short one
and that they are tretin you well in there

Craig


Always the last to know....just found out where you are.
Why did you carry on down that path when you had managed to stay clean for a couple of months? Is that why i never heard from you, who wanted to be friends, cause you were always out of it? You didnt even really try to stay clean!! And whats all this about your laptop being the only friend who stood by you? Im sure that isnt true, you had me but you threw me away remember!!!!!!!!!!
Went to street celebtrations in Shepherds Bush and Hammersmith on Wed for QPR being promoted to the 1st div, they played all the QPR anthems, plus a song by the Libertines......thought youd like to know!
Take care..............Emma xxx
To 'cure the soul by means of the senses'. It didn't work for Dorian. Gobble the jelly beans like Gretal and the witch wont get you. I hope you come through it. Good luck.
A fan called Lauren x
Dear Peter,
I have no idea whether you will even receive this email, let alone get chance to read it.
I just thought I would write you a note to try and give you an idea of how much your music means to me.
I'm sure you hear these ramblings all the time from fans and the like, and that this note is one of many similar ones, but I've been wanting to try and contact you for a while now, and I figured why not give it a go. It can cause no harm surely?
Your music, through both The Libertines and Babyshambles, has changed the way I think about things. It makes me feel things like no other music can. I hear "The Good Old Days" and it really means something to me, you know what I mean?
I've only ever seen you play live once, and that was on the 18th of December this year, at The Forum. I can safely say that it was the best gig I have ever been to and one of the best nights of my life. I would have loved to have been one of the many who joined you on the stage, but we were standing quite near the back at the time (my friend had fainted so we had to go to the bar to get her a drink...) and we didn't make it there in time. Even though we didn't make it up there, like I've said, it was still an amazing night and thank you, as well as Carl, John, and Gary, for making it so.
Anyway, I guess I am just chattering on; this was only meant to be a quick passing note!
I realise you don't know who I am but I thought I would let you know that my thoughts are with you.
Stay strong and get well soon
Sarah xxx
esteemed mr. pete doherty,
greeting from the far west coast in america. i felt compelled to write to you and at least express my feelings of admiration and utter gratitude towards yourself, carl and your libertine brethren. having the rock n roll spirit pump through these veins and this body for all of my 26 years, lately something has become stagnant with my spirit. has my 'rock' spirit been broken, or at least a little cracked? possibly a little bit. your band (and you specifically) has reenergized me and my heart beats to the tunes and spirit of albion. the way you play music, write songs (poetry really) and generally live to the fullest is inspiring mr. doherty. i simply wanted to thank you for rekindling the fires burning inside of me and reminding me why i love music, writing, creativity, and LIVING life so damn much. i wish your recovery quite soon and know that you always have a friend and a fellow libertine in seattle. thank you for making the music that you do and being the person you are. xo
christopher jones
I bought you a card that I was going to send, but it seemed cliched and pretensious. It was all stamped and ready to send, with my message scrawled under the greeting "by the time you get this card I hope you're already feeling better!" (who knew Hallmark even has cards for love notes sent across the seas...very appropriate - no?) Anyway, I dont think it's going to be sent. But I thought I'd write you an email saying the same things and it'd get to you loads quicker. I'm so proud and you've made me respect and love you even more with what you're trying to do. Good luck, Bilo and feel better quickly. Reading all your posts on babyshambles has been inspiring and uplifting, and do you know how great it feels to finally be hearing good news? Well, it's beyond great. You're a brave, strong boy and everyone's supporting you. Hope to see you back on your feet soon.

All my love,
Lex


You have to do whatever takes you closer.

I was a lost cause once. So I thought. Many years spent back and forth to hospital and taking pills for this and pills for that and being told that it just wasn't normal. Now, everything's going fine and I am a fully contrubuting member of society (job, taxes, etc) and guess what? It's shit. They want you to do this life-thing in the way dictated to by the norm, but it chains you and each day it deadens you, until you wake up one morning and you realise that every day for the past six years has been exactly the same. It's like that salmon advert where the salmon dies after spending its whole life swimming upstream. That's a fairly obvious analogy, I know, but it is true. And it has led me to conclude that there is freedom in madness. Or at some level anyway (I saw some nasty things in hospital - mainly the pictures of princess Di pinned up on every wall staring down at the shivering wrecks who worshipped her), but for me, personally, there was freedom in madness.

Anyway, I was compelled to write because I've been thinking a lot about this stuff and how you mustn't lose your faith in love or music. I remember sitting on the harbour walls watching the moon bleed into the sky on a pitch black night and forcing myself to observe everything about it - the sound of the sea lapping against the boats and the ice in the wind pressing against my spine. It was the last night that I felt anything at all. If you gave me the choice between a dead life or a free one, I know which one I would pick. It's a shame that our society rejects this.

There's not a lot in life we are allowed to control anymore. Your body is one. Your choices are another. If you want to fight for anything - you should fight for freedom.

>To: peterlibertine@hotmail.com
>Subject: Jock Scot, Poppy and Tara, sending their regards xxxx
>Date: Fri, 21 May 2004 17:19:54 +0000
>
>HI Peter,
>Jock Scot's daughter here, Poppy. Dad sends his regards, and his two
>wee lassies wish you well.
>
>Under the heavens, under the stars,
>Over the limit, driving a car.
>Under the influence, under the bed,
>How did it get there shaking its head
>Under the covers, under the weather,
>There lies the underdog with his collar of leather.
>
>Under sedation, face pale and tired,
>Under observation, monitered and wired.
>Now under lock and key, blinded by visions.
>Serving his sentence with no remission.
>Over the rainbow, under the ground
>Your pot of gold waits for you without a sound.
>
>Under the Baton, under the cosh,
>Under the water with a deep sense of loss.
>Under the moon where space isn't wasted,
>The champagne and caviar he never tasted.
>Still under fifty consumed with rage,
>What the hell's eating him?
>Looking his age.
>
>Watching and waiting without a sound.
>No-one can hear him, no-one can see
>What does he look like?
>He looks just like.....you.
>
>wonder if we still watch you from you mantle piece? lots of love and
>support from everyone xxx
>
well, good evening or whatever the time may be if you are ever actually reading this. sorry about the subject, that was a bit silly really but i never know what to write in the box.... i know that i don't know you and you don't know me but somewhere in this head of mine it makes sense so i'll carry on anyway and hope you get it too. i just thought i'd say, for what it's worth, that i'm wishing you well because i expect you need a lot of wishing wellness around now. it can't be nice to have people decanting blood out of you for any reason.... my friend said i shouldn't do this because i'd make a pig's ear of it and i daresay she's right but i felt compelled to do it. i hope you're well soon because even i know that feeling terrible is fucking awful.... don't ask me why but i thought you might like this seeing as you're reading regeneration- maybe i just like emailing poetry to strangers:

Anthem for doomed youth by wilfred owen

What passing bells for these who die as cattle?
Only the monstrous anger of the guns.
Only the stuttering rifles' rapid rattle
Can patter out their hasty orisons.
No mockeries for them; no prayers nor bells,
Nor any voice of mourning save the choirs,-
The shrill, demented choirs of wailing shells;
And bugles calling for them from sad shires.
What candles may be held to speed them all?
Not in the hands of boys, but in their eyes
Shall shine the holy glimmers of goodbyes.
The pallor of girls' brows shall be their pall;
Their flowers the tenderness of patient minds,
And each slow dusk a drawing-down of blinds.

How to die by seigfried sassoon

Dark clouds are smouldering into red
While the craters morning burns.
The dying soldier shifts his head
To watch the glory that returns;
He lifts his fingers toward the skies
Where holy brightness breaks in flame;
Radience reflected in his eyes,
And on his lips a whispered name.

You'd think, to hear some people talk,
That lads go West with sobs and curses,
And sullen faces white as chalk,
Hankering for wreaths and tombsand hearses.
But they've been taught the way to do it
Like Christian soldiers; not with haste
And shuddering groans; but passing through it
With due regard for decent taste.

regeneration is so sad and beautiful. it made me cry while i wasn't writing an essay on pride and prejudice. one little question- have you read goodbye to all that by robert graves? if you haven't, you should, that's amazing too.
so there it is, as i said, wishing you well, sending you love
meera xx

listen to the swell maps..we gamble on the plastic horses..my sister shared your experience, twists and turns same place..over the edge..needles and pins needless today..soundtracks of wanda jackson, cupid car club and skull control..fade out.. shot reverse shot sing it like anna karina in 'une femme est une femme' someone collected moths in small frames.. i imagine a toy shop at the end of the world i send you wishes i send you charms and alarms i know you appreciate spells i'll whisper one for you x
Pete if this is really is you please say so, i need your help, i need to send you something. i appreciate it if you're too busy right now but whenever you get a few spare minutes, i'll be as grateful as the libertine existence on this planet. at the moment my life is as fragile as delicately spun glass and i feel it breaking when touched. but as senile as this sounds, when i'm immersed in your presence, thoughts or words life takes a different toll but the frailty remains. in short pete, i feel like im breaking from the inside, cracking from the smallest inconsistancies. i don't want a saviour i just want to borrow some of your time.
if thats ok.
if this is you.
please.

shiri x
In darkness you are the path we follow to take us home
In light you are the shade we seek
In silence the glittering melodies slide from between your lips and fingers and soul
In winter we warm to you
In summer you incarcerate and hospitalize
The weak and wounded we flock around our broken libertine
Our words come from our love and our love, does it chase him away?
Cover our bodies with scars for you, the words of our hero forever visible
We want to be branded with the ideals of an arcady
Show the world our love for the libertine way
come back strong and well young captain of our ship, we wait for you

awkward words but sent with all the love my heart can muster
Ladyshambles

as i sit here pondering, wondering
my mind is drawn to you
fair of face with dewy grace
so lyrical, satyrical
flailing, falling
captured, ruptured
aching, waking
down, down
over, under
round, round
tasteless beauty will once more become real
stay strong, you, the most beautiful creature

all my love


petey boy?


I was thinking of you today. I was lying on my bed and thinking about doing a photo project of smoke alarms, there are 8 in our house, since my room went on fire when I was 11, I started it but no one knows that. I was looking at the smoke alarm in my room while lying on my bed and my eyes went to the green sign on my door that says “You’re in a safe environment”. I stole it from a classroom of Dublin City University and kept it in my sketchbook on a day I needed a hug.

If you consider that for every single communication someone sends you, telling you how you have inspired them and how they love you, at least 10/15 more don’t want to bother you with the same sentiment, you’ve bared your soul to us, thank you.

We will be there, friends and I, in the pit at Oxegen in July, cant wait to see you.

Good luck, and safe home.
Niall.

Know you dont know me and u probs have better emails to be reading but im a massive fan of yours.i live in middlesbrough and failed to get to your gig at the arena ,as im 2 young (16),anyway hope u do a gig down here sometime.Any chance i could have a signed photo of you?
Hope to Hear From You Soon
Jonny C
Dearest Peter
Tonight I meditated and asked the angel Raphael to send you his golden ball of healing energy. I have not performed this ritual before but I feel that the love and light are with you my friend.
I have a bottle of healing energies I would like to send to you its from the Aura Soma range please check out the website for further details. If you would like this bottle please can you let me know where I could possibly send it so that you would receive it?
And to think that a blind woman created such beautiful colours!
Well I will send you warmest wishes this cool evening.
Love and light
Cxx
dear dear dear peter, a song for you (bright eyes): if you walk away, i'll walk away first tell me which road you will take i don't want to risk our paths crossing someday so you walk that way, i'll walk this way the future hangs over our heads and it moves with each current event until it falls all around like a cold steady rain just stay in when it's looking this way and the moon's laying low in the sky forcing everything metal to shine and the sidewalk holds diamonds like a jewelry store case they argue: "walk this way" "no, walk this way" laura's asleep in my bed as i'm leaving she wakes up and says, "i dreamed you were carried away on the crest of a wave, baby don't go away (come here)" there's kids playing guns in the street and one's pointing his tree branch at me so i put my hands up, i say "enough is enough, if you walk away, i'll walk away" (and he shot me dead) i found a liquid cure for my landlocked blues it will pass away, like a slow parade it's leaving, but i don't know how soon this world's got me dizzy again you'd think after 22 years i'd be used to the spin but it only feels worse when i stay in one place so i'm always pacing around or walking away and i'm drinking the ink from my pen and i'm balancing history books up on my head but it all boils down to one quotable phrase: if you love something, give it away a good woman will pick you apart a box full of suggestions for a possible heart and you may be offended, you may be afraid but don't walk away, don't walk away we made love on the living room floor with the noise in the background from a televised war and in that deafening pleasure, i thought i heard someone say, "if we walk away, they'll walk away" but greed is a bottomless pit our freedom's a joke, we're just taking a piss and the whole world must watch the sad comic display if you're still free, start running away ('cause we're coming for ya) i've grown tired of holding this pose i feel more like a stranger each time i come home so i'm making a deal with the devils of fame saying, "let me walk away (please)" you'll be free child once you have died from the shackles of language, immeasurable time then we can trade places, play musical grace tell them, "walk away, walk away, walk away..." so i'm up at dawn, putting on my shoes i just want to make a clean mistake i'm leaving but i don't know where to i know i'm leaving but i don't know where to peter dear, you wrote once that the task at hand was to strip away our false selves, constructed by external influences, people, systems, and i completely dug it. that is the daily struggle. i hope you still believe that. how are doing with it? i wish you strength and safety. your music has always been a promise of better, insane, chaotic realities and playing the game on your own terms. throw off this oppressive false self. i believe in you as ever, and you still play the truths that i want to believe in. all goodness and hope, helen
Just another note to say how much we are missing you. You have no idea how much you mean to me and so many other people.
Just think of when you're old and wrinkly, all shacked up in a big boat on the Thames, watching the grandchildren fight over who can play "don't look back into the sun" better on their grandad's old guitar...you can look back on these days and have a chuckle to yourself.

What do you prefer..breathing in or breathing out?

lots of love, Hi Peter,

Saw your messages and it brought back so many memories from my first days in the Priory. I’m 6 months out now (clean and sober), and although I have to admit it, I owe my survival to that ominous white castle which I love and hate in equal measures.

I guess the one thing that blew me away was not so much the solution, as I was too scared and destructive to believe my life was worth a fuck, but I came away with the smallest glimmer of hope that I could imagine life clean. That glimmer has grown, sometimes it’s the end of the match I’ve just lit, sometimes it is a 2000 watt searchlight. But it is never extinguished. And that fills me with so much joy that the tears are running down my face as I type this.

I’m not in a position to offer advice, I’m at the bottom of a steep learning curve on this one, but listen to the counsellors and your key worker. They are arrogant as fuck, but they have a lot to teach you. My body looked like a tapestry (I’m familiar with the 121 observation), and the scars fade slower than the thoughts of using.

I believe you can do this peter, if I can do it (and believe me, many thought i was a lost cause), you can too.

Stick with the programme, try not to get too sceptical (I know it is hard – fucking 10 o’clock club would send most sane people over the edge.) But there is a reason for it all. And on a lighter note, wait till Derek the drill instructor tries to teach a load of detoxing addicts Tai Bo. That, my friend, is fucking hilarious.

Best wishes, and take care yourself in there.

H

There, on the pendent boughs her coronet weeds
Clambering to hang, an envioussilver broke;
When down herweedy trophies and herself
Fell in the weeping brook.
Her clothes spread wide,
And mermaid-like, awhile they bore her up;
Which time she chanted snatches of old tunes,
As one incapable of her own distress,
Or like a creature native and indued
Unto that element; but long it could not be
Till that her garments, heavy with their drink,
Pull'd the poor wretch from her melodious lay
To muddy death
Have stolen this time to write this to you, my thieving hands burning as I punch each letter into the keyboard realising, with every second that ticks by, what a cunt I am for leaving the taps running in the bathroom...



Stephanie
x
To Raise a glass to the most galant of men,
whos emotions so raw its for all to see,
now in the lonesome dark may i give my emotions back to thee
from someone you not of

abigail

Hi pete
Glad to see your ramblings on babyshambles.com are back and lively (is Thrively a word?)
hope your feeling much better about yourself and your happy which is the most important thing
anyway hope to see you in Rhtyhm factory again soon (my fav place to hear ya)
i was thinking about speaking to mark hammerton down there and putting a message on .org
for all bands that post on there to have a gig at R.F
what you think
Libertines/Babyshambles
The unstrung
The oThers/853
The lams
Home wreckers
paddingtons
special needs
The mardous
well i would like to see it
see ya soon maybe filthys on friday
cc xx
Hi pete
Glad to see your ramblings on babyshambles.com are back and lively (is Thrively a word?)
hope your feeling much better about yourself and your happy which is the most important thing
anyway hope to see you in Rhtyhm factory again soon (my fav place to hear ya)
i was thinking about speaking to mark hammerton down there and putting a message on .org
for all bands that post on there to have a gig at R.F
what you think
Libertines/Babyshambles
The unstrung
The oThers/853
The lams
Home wreckers
paddingtons
special needs
The mardous
well i would like to see it
see ya soon maybe filthys on friday
cc xx
Hi pete
Glad to see your ramblings on babyshambles.com are back and lively (is Thrively a word?)
hope your feeling much better about yourself and your happy which is the most important thing
anyway hope to see you in Rhtyhm factory again soon (my fav place to hear ya)
i was thinking about speaking to mark hammerton down there and putting a message on .org
for all bands that post on there to have a gig at R.F
what you think
Libertines/Babyshambles
The unstrung
The oThers/853
The lams
Home wreckers
paddingtons
special needs
The mardous
well i would like to see it
see ya soon maybe filthys on friday
cc xx
Hi pete
Glad to see your ramblings on babyshambles.com are back and lively (is Thrively a word?)
hope your feeling much better about yourself and your happy which is the most important thing
anyway hope to see you in Rhtyhm factory again soon (my fav place to hear ya)
i was thinking about speaking to mark hammerton down there and putting a message on .org
for all bands that post on there to have a gig at R.F
what you think
Libertines/Babyshambles
The unstrung
The oThers/853
The lams
Home wreckers
paddingtons
special needs
The mardous
well i would like to see it
see ya soon maybe filthys on friday
cc xx
ive heard your doing time in the sleepy house. i know that you're surrounded by souless bloodsuckers.
their time is up. if you lets us in we'll break you out and help to make things better. we mean this in the purest sense.

no cult. no fan. just two other human beings who give a shit.

c'mon man, let us in.

peter,
loop the loop
whoop de doop
BANG
um...
smile 'cause your beautiful when you do. i'm glad your sticking to the old no pipeys and no foils 'cause um...it scared me. good luck, you're far too talented and creative to just let it all slip with that horrible stuff. be strong pete, cos everyone who has ever heard you sing is thinking about you right now. my mum sends her love, 'oh he sounded lovely on the phone, poor boy. send him my love as well rebecca. poor lad...'
see you on the other side
bek
x
I wanna be better than oxygen
So you can breath when you're drowning and weak in the knees
I wanna speak louder than Ritalin for all the children who think
they've got a disease
I wanna be cooler than TV for all the kids that are wondering what
they're going to be
We can be stronger than bombs if you're singing along and you know
that you really believe
We can be richer than industry as long as we know there's things we
don't really need
We can speak louder than ignorance coz we speak in silence every
time our eyes meet

On and on and on it goes
The world it just keeps spinning
Until I'm dizzy
Time to breathe
So close my eyes and start again anew

I wanna see through all the lies of society, to the reality,
happiness is at stake
I wanna hold up my head with dignity, proud of a life where to give
means more than to take
I wanna live beyond the modern mentality where paper is all that
you're really taught to create
Do you remember the forgotten America? Justice, equality, freedom to
every race
Just need to get past all the lies and hypocrisy, make up and hair,
to the truth beyond every face
Then look around to all the people you see
How many of them are happy and free?
I know it sounds like a dream but it's the only thing that can get
me to sleep at night
I know it's hard to believe but it's easy to see something here
isn't right
I know the future looks dark but it's there that the kids of today
must carry the light

On and on and on it goes
The world it just keeps spinning
Until I'm dizzy
Time to breathe
So close my eyes and start again anew

If I'm afraid to catch a dream
I weave you baskets and
I float them down the river stream
Each one I weave with words I speak
To carry love to your relief

I wanna be better than oxygen
So you can breath when you're drowning and weak in the knees
I wanna speak louder than Ritalin for all the children who think
they've got a disease
I wanna be cooler than TV for all the kids that are wondering what
they're going to be
We can be stronger than bombs if you're singing along and you know
that you really believe
We can be richer than industry as long as we know there's things we
don't really need
We can speak louder than ignorance coz we speak in silence every
time our eyes meet

On and on and on it goes
The world it just keeps spinning
Until I'm dizzy
Time to breathe
So close my eyes and start again anew

Oxygen, Willy Mason


Beautiful n'est pas?
Keep strong Peter,
you have so many people thinking of you x

hello Peter,
I just wanted to send you a message of hope. good luck with sticking with it - there's so much more for you to do - so many songs to emerge and so much verse to be wheedled out.
it must be inconceivable to have unknown people caring about you - a confusing concept probably, but a good thing nonetheless. in the end though, it's nothing to do with us - it's all just to do with you.
the libertines have given me so much, happiness for a start. I wouldn't want it to end now. I'm doing an MA in creative writing - an odd thing to do perhaps, but i'm half way through now so i can't stop - and i work in an indie club as well. I've had some very happy times seeing you and yes, things weren't always this good. i think i am perhaps less concerned about living in a conscientious way now. I hope you will continue to inspire people...
Lizzyxx
"I thought that life was going to be a brilliant comedy and you were to be one of many graceful figures in it." wilde


I don't believe in first or best or worst. I'm into liberty and verse.
Pete,

Hope it's going well- you're a legend already and we don't want to lose you!!

Tim

Hey Pete,
I am a new user of babyshambles.com basically because you are the only music star I have ever really cared about, and i say that with no type of disregard to the word 'care.' I cant imagine what kind of hell you are going through and nor do I really want to imagine. But nows not the time for me to send you a depressing mail which you probably dont care for.
I thought I would tell you how Time For Heroes soundtracked a big water fight we had last night, after consumpting vast amounts of Liqour, and how that song makes me so happy and carefree. Pete, stick in there, when u performed Sonnet in Leeds last week it bought a tear to my eye, its one of my favourite tunefuls ever.
Love is a strong word but I send you it in the most meaningful sense. Cant wait to see you back with a bang.
Paul (MisterPab)
hope this reaches you because there is so much i want to say to you but i don't know where to start.
If you ever feel lonely just think about us because we are always going to be there for you. When it feels like the whole world i against you, it's not because there will be a small portion of that world where we live and every day is a little brighter because we know you're there.
Don't ever stop making your beautiful music and i am so proud of you for battling through this as i can't even begin to imagine how hard it is.
You are truely an individual and an inspiration.
Don't laugh at this because i let my fingers do the talking when i don't know what to say...
love and luck always
Hannah WhitmoreXXX
peter,
loop the loop
whoop de doop
BANG
um...
smile 'cause your beautiful when you do. i'm glad your sticking to the old no pipeys and no foils 'cause um...it scared me. good luck, you're far too talented and creative to just let it all slip with that horrible stuff. be strong pete, cos everyone who has ever heard you sing is thinking about you right now. my mum sends her love, 'oh he sounded lovely on the phone, poor boy. send him my love as well rebecca. poor lad...'
see you on the other side
bek
x


Hey Pete,
I don't know how much of a chance you get to read your emails, but I just wanted to say get well soon man. You can do it. Just think it'll all be over in a few weeks and you'll be back gigging again, surrounded by your friends. I've never seen you/Libertines live as I can't recall many gigs you've done near me (Cardiff Barfly maybe?), but when you get back to normality I'm going to travel wherever you may play (London by any chance?!), and finally get to see the genius that is, Pete Doherty!
Stick with it
Alex

Hey Peter,

If they ask you if you want Jelly again, tell them strawberry, its easily the nicest! Sorry to hear about the vampires with needles jabbing you, they like to suck young blood! At least your getting there my friend, the real peter doherty (as you put it) is on his way, but if you dont like him at first, dont fret! just take down your mirrors and you wont have to see him till your comfortable! Take care peter and email me back if fingers will allow it!

Kraig Fallows
if you get this message good, you dont know me
but i just want to say your doing good matey in the true english way, whatever that may be
what do you think about dot cotton ?
if this is not you, then you are deluded for impersonationg another person,
weird person mailing someone i dont know sorry for the harrassment
anyway
mail back mail is fun, we need fun
If you want to email please don't do it to my work address send to -
gemkenyon@hotmail.com. Just using this so it looks like I am doing some work. In
rags with the tags cut out, dressed down for the kill, only to bow out at the
end, making tea and biscuits for everyone with the sounds of Rusholme Ruffians
filtering through the windows. Half baked ideas of escaping through the post
shoot. sigh roll on 4pm. gembeline xxxxxxxxx


Hello darling,
In this cloudy day I hope you are feeling a little bit better, I am glad you like Babushka, I brought her from Lithuania, was in Poland and in Lithuania for few days to visit my grandmother who lives there.
I wanted to visit you today, bring you more flowers, but I think they are restricting the visit orders. I haven't been working for the last six weeks as I left my job and found another one. I am starting on Monday and I am a bit nervous as I think I got a bit lazy staying at home.
The reason I am writing this is to tell you how proud I am with what you are doing. I am thinking of you all the time and wishing you all the strength in the world to get better. I know you will as you are a fighter and you have all my support and love in this difficult time like that. I came to see you when you were asleep. Stroked you head and held your hand. I wish I could hold you now and give you massive hugs and kisses. I have painted some pictures for you which I wanted to bring you, but I am not sure when I see you now. The nurse told me that she will let you know that I rung.
I can't imagine how poorly you must be coming off drugs, but please Peter, don't give up, keep going, even in those darkest hours when you might think that you have had enough, think that you are getting better and do not rush to come out of there. I am 100% behind you on that one and I love you. If you need anything let me know, I am only 10 min on the bus from my home to the Priory
Take care, be strong.
Honorata
xxxxxxxx
you are the best my best friend and me love you
Get well soon
D + N xxxx
Peter,

Many letters of support and adoration to you, I am sure. No change here. The world and myself wishes you happiness and peace of mind. One hopes to find you in good cheer, and dreaming of Arcadian pastures of liberty. The Libertines soundtrack my very existence with Wildean wit and romantic imagery. It just goes to show that Love's Labour is never Lost. Muchos appreciation and support Skipper. In the words of the immortal Morrissey, "We have been through hell and high tide"... But worry not, it's just a little sea sickness. Arcadia is yonder and the Albion is on its way...

Thanks for your time,

Tim

Gimme a mail mate if you get a moment...
Adam
peter piper, piper indeed

it's been a while since we wondered round lewisham some. and i don't think i ever really did say what you mean to me. i'm not like the others who talk and pander and love out loud - my heart remains firmly inside it's chest cavity, unless ripped, still beating, from its hiding place. you are my favourite and i suspect that pretty much whatever you do, you'll remain so. your slightly ajar mouth, your funny walk and the ever-so delicate moles on your back. can you visit again soon, i want to hear that story you told me one more time. i'll resist all the "you can do it pete" and "i'm so proud of you"s cause i never really was into all that. you know that we know that you know. and that's all that matters. you make me feel what noone else can and thus
i love you


jenny




ps. thailand's nice this time of year. all rolling beaches, dawn parties and more potent thai whiskey than one of those skinny thai boxers could shake a stick at

Peter, I hope this message manages to get through the barrage of other get well soon messages. I saw you at the Cockpit last week, what a sickly sweet, majestically twisted affair that was, eh? I still haven't decided if I was entertained or horrified. One thing I do know is that I want to see you at the Carling festival this year, whether you like it or not! And this time, show me the real Peter. You know who I mean. Get well soon love. It'd be a sin to lose a true genius of this generation. I'll be thinking or you while I'm trawling through English Literature revision... XXxx
Morning Pete Hope you are feeling ok. We have never met But i wanted to send you a mail to let you know that im thinking about you and hoping and praying that you get through your time at the priory You are one of my favourite musicians you are so talented and your music and lyrics have got me through some of my most difficult times been there through my good times I adore quotes- thought you might like to read some The meeting of two personalities is like the contact of two chemical substances: if there is any reaction, both are transformed. Carl Jung </quotes/Carl_Jung/> (1875 - 1961) In prosperity our friends know us; in adversity we know our friends. John Churton Collins Never refuse any advance of friendship, for if nine out of ten bring you nothing, one alone may repay you. Madame de Tencin The whole problem with the world is that fools and fanatics are always so certain of themselves, but wiser people so full of doubts. Bertrand Russell </quotes/Bertrand_Russell/> (1872 - 1970) Doubt whom you will, but never yourself. Christine Bovee Stick with it Pete, im goin into town tomorrow, and will be sending you a little gift. The world would not be the same without you and your beautiful music, it has the power to drive me to tears. Take care chick xxxxxxxx
hi, peter. i have got back to Tokyo from London and i wanna say thanks for your brilliant gigs. I enjoyed staying in london so much. I went to Babyshambles, 4th and Filthy, 6th. Both were amazing! ( you may not remember, but you came to kiss me in Rhythm Factory. you are always sweet to your fans...) I won't forget about you and london.
i hope that you feel better and give me a smile at fujirock. I guess rehab is really hard, but please be strong. you can do it!
lots of love xxx

Chia

Pete, by the way if you want me to send some more poems can do or post them as
I hate how they look on electronic mail. I have a little paris iron-on badge
that was picked up somehow (?) in your flat and feel bad that I have it, because
it was out of your pretty box. My collection hopefully to be published is called
'Glorious Salad Days' ,from my great-uncle, Harry Pollitt the British Communist
leader.... I am standing under the elbows of giants and tis a scary thing!! Take
care my love. Here are two poems one is about a member of my family but thought
it might make sense. Email me if you bored because I am very bored at work. Oh
and Indian Brandy can cure anything says my nanna. Better to have an empty house
than a bad tenant. Gembelina xxxx


Repossession

She went back to that house he used to live in. She couldn't remember the time,
the
urge or blight, now it was crumbling away. She halted, awkwardly side stepping
the
concrete dereliction, pushing away the plastic cross. How the welcoming pockets
of
aroma filled her, when she opened the door.

Now it was dustsheets.


Did they ever lie on the floorboards, wondering if the cork ceiling would save
them
from war? His writings half etched under the radiator, seemed to mark the ways
he
could escape. The wind carried her charlatan away. She likes to think he is
still pirouetting from town to town. She would like to tell you the stories
about love, but that time is gone. Now the cold air seeps through the newspaper
winnows, piercing her cheeks, spreading the news of a world in arms across the
daisy wallpaper. When it happened she wasn't ready for it - the letter left
behind in a shoebox, the bronze crib board still with burnt matches. She tried
to learn the game, her heart just wasn't in it.




Slight Requiem


Inhaling the remnants in a tremble of light
head to stomach, knees to chest,
she curled a leg around him
predicting his offer of caress,
shingles of amber filtering in.

A generation sparse to the bone
stripped of calcium diets,
lost the urges to condemn
to kick the cramps, cause riots,
a yawn to lily livered henchmen.

The playful punch of time
came way too soon for his liking,
whipped his sorry face to the alley,
a dull sigh of teeth cracking
against hard concrete paves.

And whatever he wrote she burned to cinders,
blotched paper floated to the sky,
the stretch for comfort finally understood
when debt was passed to the next in line
creeping quietly through her back door.

The shoe box trinkets for all it means,
an open welt of tin foil dreams.




Dear Peter,
I will probably appear to be yet another obsessive fan in this message but.. well that's probably true anyway. I can't begin to imagine how difficult and utterly weird things are for you right now, so I'm wishing you all the best, this is really going to be good for you and I look forward to seeing a happy fresh faced peter at Reading festival in August.

I also owe you a huge thank you for bringing me and my boyfriend together. If it wasn't for you we both wouldn't have bought the For Lovers single, wouldn't have met on the train through finding we had something hugely in common and we wouldn't be so happy and smitten with eachother right now! So, we both love you for that now aswell, and For Lovers is 'our song'. We'll both be as close to the stage as possible while you're playing Reading, skanking aimlessly like a couple of loonies as usual.

Sorry, I'm really wittering now. And I have to leave for my business studies exam in looks at watch 1 hour. So err, wish me luck! Really should revise the boring stuff now. Sorry again for the length of this.
Love Jenny xxx

Enid Starkie writes in ‘Arthur Rimbaud’: “...dirt and depravity were considered the hallmark of genius and many a respectable ‘fils de famille’ ceased to wash and adopted dissolute habits in order to simulate the genius which he [Rimbaud] did notpossess. The other poets, with their eyes turned towards the past where the considered the source of real beauty sprang, could not accept his [Baudelaire’s] new conception of beauty, with its urban types, city men and women instead of gods and goddesses, narrow, slummy streets instead of fresh green glades, apartment houses instead of classic palaces. One and all they [the other poets] solidly rejected him [Rimbaud] on account of what they called the chaos of his theories and his errors in grammar and syntax...Verlaine alone still had confidence in his friend’s powers. ...Verlaine never asked for more than a mere momentary satisfaction of his senses and he did not question the why or the wherefore. Rimbaud, however, who had much of the puritan in his composition, considered debauch a necessary aesthetic and spiritual discipline, and for him it was no self-indulgence. It became, on the contrary, in his inverted asceticism, a form of self-maceration, a form of self-flagellation… his life of debauch was for him one long martyrdom, but a martyrdom giving him all the ecstatic joys of a religious martyrdom, and to reach this sublime condition he was willing to sacrificedignity,health and purity. ‘All the evil of the world passed through his being’ said Rivière, ‘but only as a purge.’ Debauch was for him a doctrine, a religious aim, and it was as stony a path to travel as that of virtue. Whatever may have been the nature of the relationship, it brought the at first great joy and a sense of fulfilment, as well as literary stimulation, but it was eventually to prove for both of them the source of deep suffering, bitterness and all the devouring jealousy that such a relationship seems fated to produce. Only two members of the same sex have the power to wound on another so deeply, when things go wrong between them, and to wound one another where hurt is most intolerable. At first Rimbaud had hoped great things for the relationship with Verlaine. There was to have been between them complete harmony and understanding, perfect unity. His love for Verlaine and Verlaine’s for him were to be the full explanation of everything. By slow degrees the rapture faded, disillusionment came to Rimbaud and finally disgust, leaving nothing but a taste of ashes in his mouth. His consciousness of the failure of his relationship with Verlaine, his consciousness of the vanity of that experience was part of his spiritual failure and his ultimatedebacle. Sometimes when he was in a wild and savage mood, he used to fight with Verlaine and do him bodily harm...sometimes he would regret his hardness andthere would then be a reconciliation as passionate as the quarrel. There seems to be in Rimbaud’s behaviour towards Verlaine all the uncertainty of temper, the intermittent sadism, that such a relationship seems fated to rouse, alternating changes from kindness to cruelty... ...in London…with the exiles from the Commune- politicians, journalists, writers and agitators- there was more true bohemianism in Soho than there was, at that time, in the literary world in Paris. In London Verlaine and Rimbaud made no attempt to disguise the nature of their friendship and it is saidthat openlyboasted of it... ...he [Rimbaud] began to compose ‘Illuminations’ such as 'Villes’, a new form of prose poem. In these he made concrete, with uncanny skill, the horror of the modern industrial capital, with its drearystreets, straggling on in sordid never-ending lines towards the horizon; the suburbs with each mean little house entrenched behind its mean little garden. Over all this hangs, like a dark pall, the London fog and smoke, through which flit sinister figures,theFuriesof the modern world. It is said that Verlaine and Rimbaud visited the Chinese dens in the east-end by the docks, and learned to smoke opium. This might explain the distortion of Rimbaud’s vision of reality which we find in the ‘Illuminations’ dealing with the town. His version of the material world replacing the spiritual world is symptomatic of a radical change in Rimbaud. Now he began to realise that all the things on which he had based his life and art were false. False had been his belief in the dynamic value of debauch; from debauch he had reaped nothing but bitterness, disgust and adeeper loneliness. Baudelaire has said: ‘Après une débauche on se sent toujours plus seul, plus abandonné’. This too had been Rimbaud’s experience: ‘La débauche est bête, le vice est bête’ he says in ‘Une Saison en Enfer, ‘Il faut jeter les pourritures à l’écart’. False too had been his theory of art, and false especially his conviction that he had become the equal of God…but now he discovered that, like ‘L’Homme-Dieu’ of Baudelaire, it was only the distorting fumes of opium which had madehim magnify his own image. ...to prove that he [Rimbaud] was still strong, and to ease the tension of his nerves- his health was still far from good- he was driven into acts of cruelty which he afterwards bitterly regretted...He describes himself as preparing his friend for their ultimate separation. ...he [Rimbaud] believed that no man could ever escape from the thrall of opium...his indeed had been a false conversion for he had succumbed again and it was verily a night of Hell, his experience in England. What he [Rimbaud] minded most of all, was the harm he was doing to others as well as to himself, to Verlaine whom, in all sincerity, he had hoped to bring back to his first state of ‘fils du soleil’...in the meantime the quarrelling and bickering between thetwo‘compagnons d’enfer’ continued. ...Verlaine wrote Rimbaud, saying, ‘I damn well couldn’t stand any longer the violent life we have been leading lately, full of scenes and quarrels, with no other cause than your warped temper…I love yougreatly.’ ...Rimbaud then informed him that he was leaving that afternoon for Paris. Verlaine, blind with fury, locked the door of their room and sat on a chair against it. ‘Now try to go,’ he cried, ‘and you’ll see what will happen!’ he whipped the revolver out of his pocket and fired three times at his friend. He was only three yards away from him and the first shot hit him in the wrist, while the second and third went wide and embedded themselves in the wall. Then Verlaine, suddenly realising what he had done, broke down...Suddenly he [Rimbaud] was brought face to face with himself and saw himself with new clarity. He was only eighteen and far from being self-assured andconfirmed in his ways.” sound oddly familiar?? you better get well soon...you're seriously distracting me from my revision rachael xx

would be nice to talk again sometime.
a poem for peter...
We can all find ourselves, in places that ‘don’t fit’ at certain times in our lives
-sometimes several
We use this time to reflect & catch up on our thoughts & movements of times passed
that have made us who we are,
Without this time we cant change or adapt our future
In this time, we challenge space
& grow from within to be the beautiful people of the world
Our inner soul remains unchanged, we thankfully create an outer shell
stay strong, sending lots of love
x corinne knows x
a.k.a the girl with the pierced gum

Rock on mate
Ello princess!! tried to email you poems since Bristol to Whitechapel adventure.
Think you lost your phone, and last time I phoned you I was drunk... I think. My
metro has never been the same since you know!! Salford Girls Club adventures
tonight...roll on roll... will have a drink for you and raise a glass for us
blithe and sweet. Grimsalford Gembelina xxxxx

The Wrong Boy - Willy Russell
Dear Morrissey,
I'm still dying of embarrassment. I couldn't get out of that service station
fast enough. These carpet fitters are headed for Halifax and they said they'd
drop me there. I don't even know if Halifax is on the way but I would have
accepted a lift to anywhere just to get out of that service station.
I'm glad that at least it happened in such a transient sort of environment and
so hopefully I'll never have to see her again!
Having my Walkman on and writing to you, I hadn't realised he was talking to me,
the Incredible Bulk. By the time I took my earphones off he was shouting, 'Hey!
Look, look!'
I looked to where he was pointing. And that's when I saw her, stood there by the
mix-it-yourself muesli counter. She was smiling at me and she sort of half
waved. And though normally I don't have a great facility for a smile, I just
couldn't help myself smiling back at her; because although I hadn't ever seen
her since that one time at the bus stop by the bottle bank on Failsworth
Boulevard, I'd never forgotten her, the girl with the chestnut eyes. I didn't
know her, and she didn't know me. We'd just been stood there, with all the other
people in the bus queue. She was almost at the front of the queue and I was
stood at the back. I was slightly shocked at first, when she'd just nodded at
me. I must have looked puzzled though because she smiled again and opened her
denim jacket so that I could see her tee shirt. And I understood then. And I
smiled back at her. Because she was wearing exactly the same tee shirt as me!
The same one that I'm wearing today, the one with the picture of Edith Sitwell
on the front and Morrissey written on the back of it. And it's always brilliant,
that is, when you meet another Morrissey fan. Even though you've never seen them
before, you know there's something important that you share with that person.
She called back to me, from where she was stood up at the front of the queue,
she said, 'Where was it that Morrissey lost his bag?'
I laughed. I said, 'That's easy, Newport Pagnell.'
She laughed then and all the people in the queue were starting to look at us as
if we were soft or the sort of decadent drug-crazed delinquents that they read
about in the Failsworth Fanfare. But I didn't care. We didn't care. We were
Morrissey fans!
I said, 'What job did he apply for at the YWCA?'
She laughed again and she said, 'That's easy and all: backscrubber.'
We were having a great time, just stood there at the bus stop, me and the girl
with the chestnut eyes.
'What was Morrissey carrying', she asked, 'when he broke into the Palace?'
We both shouted out the answer together, shouted out, 'A sponge! And a rusty
spanner!'
And we both laughed then. And that's when I noticed her eyes, noticed that they
were as dark and as shiny as chestnuts that have just come out of their skin. I
think I must have been staring at her then because she sort of shrugged a bit.
And then she asked me, she said, 'Have you got the New York mix of "This
Charming Man", the one with the misprinted cover?'
I nodded. And she looked at me like she was really really impressed. The bus
turned up then though and someone behind her told her to get a move on and stop
holding up the queue. She moved along towards the bus and got onto it. I hoped
she didn't think I was being sort of superior or gloating about it when I'd told
her I'd got the New York mix of 'This Charming Man' with the misprinted cover. I
didn't want her thinking I was bragging about it. As I moved along the queue I
decided that if I got to talk to her again when I was on the bus I wouldn't
mention that I had the New York misprint cover of 'Hand In Glove' as well! She
might very well think it was somewhat ostentatious or even slightly vulgar, a
person having not just one but two of the most collectible Morrissey
collectibles in existence.
As it turned out though, I never did get to talk to her on the bus. I never even
got to get onto the bus! Because when I got to it the driver said, 'No more.
We're full up!' and I started to protest but he just hit the lever and the doors
snapped shut in my face.
And I never saw her again after that, the girl with the chestnut eyes. I never
saw her anywhere. I always hoped that I'd bump into her again but I knew it was
highly unlikely, especially as I never venture into the outside environment
unless it's absolutely necessary. Most of the time I'm quite happy being
miserable in my bedroom. And even if I did go out more, like my Mam was always
urging me to do, I still don't think I would have bumped into her again, the
girl with the chestnut eyes. I knew from her accent that she wasn't even from
Failsworth. So that day when I'd met her at the bus stop, it was probably the
only time she'd ever been in Failsworth in her entire life. That's why I knew
I'd probably never see her again.

Dear Peter,
After reading all the tabloid tittle tattle, I just wanted to wish you well. Your music is great, and so are you, all us fans are rooting for you. Get Well Soon
Best Wishes, Zaira Cross xx
P.S. If you find the time please post on your libertines.com forum.....we are still liveing in hope that you will post to us someday!
Peter, Nor do you know me, or wish to. Just a little fan. wishing you all lucks at feeling better. Once was stuck in a place like that myself. Now clean and fine. Good luck and better luck. xxx Kate ===== ------------------------------------------------------------ ROLLERcoaster favourite ride ------------------------------------------------------------
Pete….

First of all, heart felt thanks and appreciation for all you and your band have done for me over the last 18 months of my life. In a music scene that I have grown to despise (tad harse but true) you and yours are a shining light, thank you.

I’m not gonna warble on too much, I’m sure you’re more than “overwhelmed” with endless e-mails regarding various matters, but reading your babyshambles posts whilst you’ve been in the company of the priory brought a tear to my eye. It made me remember.

I conquered the said addictions 2 years ago after 3 and a half years of pollution, and you describing has made me remember the feeling you get…. The freedom you have now, the ultimate liberty, no pain first thing, eyes wide open, endless energy will follow, breathing/tasting fresh air again…. The resurrection. I know you must have experienced similar feelings through-out opiate filled/unfilled days but this is your new love for a new life. And you know as well as I do Pete, this kicks the f*ck out of any shitty dirty foil or stinking devil pipes.

True Liberation has begun, and only now does the Albion sail on course.

I’m thinking of you Pete, obviously not everyone understands the power of the calling, but I’m still here, 2 years down the line, loving the liberty as much as I did then, the release. Enjoy it. You’ll never forget it.

I hope what words are here have helped in the tinyest of ways my friend (sorry to call you a friend without knowing, but anyman who overcomes the calling is a friend in my view)

Look forward to the sunshine, and that guiness, and I’ll see you on the other side.

Love to all.

Rich.
X
X
X
x

Well, the pleasure - the privilege is mine....

mornin' squire[!] and what a day for it. Good to see you getting back on your feet lad, I might join you in there if this headache doesnt fuckoff soon. I can lie my way in, bringing timeless day-killing classics such as Scrabble, Team Tactics and Guess Who?! (My turn #1... He wears shit shirts and never smiles, ??)

I've got some photo's for you, some right belters from that Newcastle gig - also a couple that you gave me that I think you should have back, i'm guessing its your sister with you in them - might be wrong. Do I send them to K&K, or can I send them to le Pri-orr-ee? When will the kids get clever and start wearing Captain Bilo (snooker) Loopy pirate earrings, P.D. circa 2001? Who knows eh~

My phone got nicked and I gave you my old one, so I was fucked for a month or so. Lost all my numbers, bet you've been there before! Actually I think you live there. I emailed the Magee, apparently he's in the states, plotting a voyage for you all maybe?

So yeah, phones are being mean... though I'm currently using set of yoghurt pots #0796,
give us a bell one time and we can have that game of Guess Who, 250 miles apart.

Take care my lad... and don't be walking around that place with your hat on backwards - you never know when the next fit rich woman will be wandering the halls.

Gaz x

'wor the bracket man

peter,

instead of revising for my dreaded a levels I thought I'd send you this, which I know will be pointless and insignificant in the masses of emails you'll be receiving from all of us awestruck fans. But I can only hope it makes a difference, I know what an addiction feels like, all I can say is I know you're strong enough to beat it and you'll be out of that place in no time. .I wrote this, it's about addiction, indoctrination, obsession;

if it were not for you I would not be in this state

I would not be trapped in this box, wrapped up so tightly with cheap ribbon,

poked and prodded with anticipation by young faceless children, then ripped open with brutal excitement,

played with, touched, admired; then forgotten, discarded and finally disposed of,

if it were not for you I would not be in this state


come back to us soon bilo, vicki xxx

yeh, the bastards never gave it to you, they just emailed me and asked me to pick it up.. i don't know why. you are at the priory in roehampton right? thats where i dropped it off.
oh well. hope to see you soon... do you think you'll be out by Tuesday for the gig at the hope and anchor? if you are i'll see you there!
xxx
flo
Hello,
I wanted to leave a message for you on the forum but was unable to log in so had to resort to different tactics. I know that what you are going through at the moment is impossible for me to understand and I realise that at the moment you will probably be inundated with emails like this one, however I felt compelled to write, whether you choose to humour me by reading is your call. I realise that we will probably never meet and that you will go on to far greater and better things and I will be left where I am but now it seems to me like you need some support. I am no fantasist and realise you have thousands of people around you that care about you but one more voice can't really do that much harm. Peter you mean so much to everyone and are such a major part of so many lives, and whether or not this is a burden you wish to carry it is one that you need to accept. The lyrics that you write and the songs you sing make a real difference to people and this difference is something no one would like to lose. Human nature is by its very essence selfish and it is with this in mind that I make this appeal to you. Whilst there are many people who could pass by life without any real cares, there are people all over the world who really do care about you. Even though most of these people may never meet you they will always care for your wellbeing, myself included. I have been and done some very stupid things and these do not make me proud. Please may I urge you not to take away one of the main reasons that I am able to get up in the morning. Please keep safe and keep well and I am truly sorry if this email does anything other than make you smile,
Love and good wishes always,
Louise
xxx


TODAY'S HEADLINES The New York Times on the Web Friday, May 21, 2004 Compiled 2 AM ET ---------------------------------------- For news updated throughout the day, visit www.nytimes.com ---------------------------------------- - TOP STORIES - Chalabi's Seat of Honor Lost to Open Political Warfare With U.S. By DAVID E. SANGER The raid on Ahmad Chalabi's offices was a remarkable reversal for a man who worked furiously to plot Saddam Hussein's fall. http://www.nytimes.com/2004/05/21/politics/21EXIL.html?th .................. Afghan Policies on Questioning Prisoners Taken to Iraq By DOUGLAS JEHL and ERIC SCHMITT The interrogation center at Abu Ghraib prison was run by a military intelligence unit that had served in Afghanistan. http://www.nytimes.com/2004/05/21/politics/21ABUS.html?th .................. LETTER FROM THE MIDDLE EAST Children Fill Ledger of Death, No Matter How, or How Many By JAMES BENNET How many dead children is too many is a question often asked by Palestinians and Israelis, but no resolution is in sight. http://www.nytimes.com/2004/05/21/international/middleeast/21MIDE.html?th .................. Go to NYTIMES.com Homepage http://www.nytimes.com ---------------------------------------- - QUOTATION OF THE DAY - "There are so many parties going on you have to pick and choose the location and date rather early to try to lessen the competition. Competition will be great every hour of every day." - RICHARD HUNT, spokesman for the Security Industries Association, on events at the Republican convention in New York. http://www.nytimes.com/2004/05/21/nyregion/21CONV.html?th .................. - SCIENCE - Postcards from the Arctic As part of an ongoing look at big climate shifts in the Arctic, The Times's Andrew C. Revkin headed to Greenland. He has been posting daily dispatches, photographs and answers to readers' questions http://www.nytimes.com/pages/science/sciencereport/index.html?th ------------ ADVERTISEMENT ------------- BE A POLITICAL INSIDER Follow a continuously updated report from the campaign trail. Find breaking campaign news, political analysis from the Times and resources from around the web on NYTimes.com. http://www.nytimes.com/pages/politics/trail/index.html ---------------------------------------- - INTERNATIONAL - Iraqis and G.I.'s Raid the Offices of an Ex-Favorite By DEXTER FILKINS and IAN FISHER Officials said they were seeking to arrest employees of Ahmad Chalabi who they believed were involved in kidnapping and embezzlement. http://www.nytimes.com/2004/05/21/international/middleeast/21CHAL.html?th .................. German Leader to Oppose Sending NATO Troops to Iraq By RICHARD BERNSTEIN and MARK LANDLER Chancellor Gerhard Schröder said Germany would not go so far as to block a NATO role in Iraq if a majority of the organization's members wanted it. http://www.nytimes.com/2004/05/21/international/europe/21berl.html?th .................. India's New Leader Vows Not to Tolerate Sectarian Riots By AMY WALDMAN Manmohan Singh vowed that his government would never allow a repeat of the riots in Gujarat State in 2002 or the anti-Sikh riots in 1984. http://www.nytimes.com/2004/05/21/international/asia/21indi.html?th .................. More International News http://www.nytimes.com/pages/world/index.html?th ---------------------------------------- - NATIONAL - Lawyer Linked to Bombings Is Released By SARAH KERSHAW An Oregon lawyer arrested May 6 and held as a material witness in connection with the deadly Madrid bombings in March was released from custody on Thursday. http://www.nytimes.com/2004/05/21/national/21lawyer.html?th .................. Governor Seeks to Invalidate Some Same-Sex Marriages By PAM BELLUCK Gov. Mitt Romney began cracking down on same-sex marriages by out-of-state couples, taking steps to invalidate their marriage licenses. http://www.nytimes.com/2004/05/21/national/21marry.html?th .................. Screening of Prison Officials Is Faulted by Lawmakers By FOX BUTTERFIELD and ERIC LICHTBLAU The use of American corrections executives with abuse accusations in their past to oversee American-run prisons in Iraq is prompting concerns in Congress. http://www.nytimes.com/2004/05/21/politics/21PRIS.html?th .................. More National News http://www.nytimes.com/pages/national/index.html?th ---------------------------------------- ---------------------------------------- A ROARING RAMPAGE OF REVENGE "Kill Bill: Vol. 2" continues to receive rave reviews from critics and fans. Watch the trailer, browse reviews and buy tickets for the next showing. http://ads.nyt.com/th.ad/th-2004position7default2/april30bride/?_RM_REDIR_=http://movies2.nytimes.com/gst/movies/movie.html?v_id=289932 ---------------------------------------- - BUSINESS - Fund Executive, Fined $60 Million, Accepts Life Ban By RIVA D. ATLAS Richard S. Strong is the most prominent figure to be ensnared in a sweeping investigation of improper trading in mutual funds. http://www.nytimes.com/2004/05/21/business/21STRO.html?th .................. OPEC Offers Little Hope on Fuel Prices By HEATHER TIMMONS Purnomo Yusgiantoro, the president of the Organization of the Petroleum Exporting Countries, said that there was little the group could do to lower fuel prices anytime soon. http://www.nytimes.com/2004/05/21/business/21oil.html?th .................. United Methodist Church Bucks the Trend on Employee Pensions By MARY WILLIAMS WALSH The United Methodist Church recently voted to start a defined-benefit pension plan for its 25,000 American pastors and lay employees. http://www.nytimes.com/2004/05/21/business/21pension.html?th .................. More Business News http://www.nytimes.com/pages/business/index.html?th ---------------------------------------- ---------------------------------------- ---------------------------------------- - SPORTS - PISTONS WIN SERIES, 4-3 With Kidd Silenced, Nets Cry Uncle By CHRIS BROUSSARD Behind their typically stingy defense and Ben Wallace's atypical soft shooting, Detroit routed the Nets in Game 7, 90-69. http://www.nytimes.com/2004/05/21/sports/basketball/21nets.html?th .................. SERIES TIED, 3-3 With 2 Late Goals, the Flyers Force a Seventh Game By JASON DIAMOS Simon Gagné's second goal, with 1:42 remaining in the first overtime, forced a seventh game, as the Flyers rallied for a 5-4 victory over the Tampa Bay Lightning. http://www.nytimes.com/2004/05/21/sports/hockey/21flyers.html?th .................. A Longtime Stock-Car Hotbed Is Left Behind as Nascar Spreads Out By VIV BERNSTEIN Another North Carolina racetrack has been abandoned by Nascar in its push to build a national following. http://www.nytimes.com/2004/05/21/sports/othersports/21nascar.html?th .................. More Sports News http://www.nytimes.com/pages/sports/index.html?th ---------------------------------------- - ARTS - CRITIC'S NOTEBOOK Cannes, a k a Asia West By A. O. SCOTT The dominant personalities at the Cannes Film Festival may have been American, but Asia was the continent most heavily represented in competition. http://www.nytimes.com/2004/05/21/movies/21CANN.html?th .................. TV WEEKEND | 'SCOTT TUROW'S REVERSIBLE ERRORS' Looking for the Flaw That Can Save a Life By ALESSANDRA STANLEY This two-part CBS mini-series based on Mr. Turow's best-selling novel stars Tom Selleck, William H. Macy and Felicity Huffman. http://www.nytimes.com/2004/05/21/arts/television/21TVWK.html?th .................. CRITIC'S NOTEBOOK The War's Dark Side: Filling in the Blanks By CARYN JAMES Two striking documentaries about journalists in Iraq suggest how rarely the harshest images have penetrated American newscasts until now. http://www.nytimes.com/2004/05/21/arts/television/21NOTE.html?th .................. More Arts News http://www.nytimes.com/pages/arts/index.html?th ---------------------------------------- ======================================== Receive 50% Off Home Delivery of The New York Times Newspaper. Click here: http://www.nytimes.com/ads/headlinestext.html ======================================== - MOVIES - CRITIC'S NOTEBOOK Cannes, a k a Asia West By A. O. SCOTT The dominant personalities at the Cannes Film Festival may have been American, but Asia was the continent most heavily represented in competition. http://www.nytimes.com/2004/05/21/movies/21CANN.html?th .................. MOVIE REVIEW | 'SHREK 2' The New Son-in-Law's an Ogre, and Hollywood Is the Target By A. O. SCOTT The sequel to "Shrek" is slick and playful entertainment that remains carefully inoffensive beneath its veneer of bad manners. http://www.nytimes.com/2004/05/18/movies/18SHRE.html?th .................. MOVIE REVIEW | 'CONTROL ROOM' How Al Jazeera Is Squeezed by Its Politics and Its Craft By A. O. SCOTT Jehane Noujaim's bristling documentary is about Al Jazeera, the satellite news network, during the American invasion of Iraq. http://www.nytimes.com/2004/05/21/movies/21CONT.html?th .................. More Movies News http://www.nytimes.com/pages/movies/text/index.html?th ---------------------------------------- - EDITORIALS - TODAY'S EDITORIALS Friends Like This It is good to see Washington distancing itself from Ahmad Chalabi, who contributed to some of the most disastrous miscalculations in the war in Iraq. http://www.nytimes.com/2004/05/21/opinion/21FRI1.html?th .................. Reforming Mutual Funds The Securities and Exchange Commission should do more to ensure that independent directors are free from ties to the fund's management company. http://www.nytimes.com/2004/05/21/opinion/21FRI2.html?th .................. A Rare Consensus on Clean Air A policy that will reduce emissions from diesel-powered construction equipment is the most important clean air initiative to originate in the Bush administration. http://www.nytimes.com/2004/05/21/opinion/21FRI3.html?th .................. FIXING ALBANY What's Going On There? Lately, the corrupt nature of Albany's political culture has surfaced in vivid ways, giving voters an idea of how morally and intellectually bankrupt the Capitol scene is. http://www.nytimes.com/2004/05/21/opinion/21FRI4.html?th .................. Go to Editorials/Op-Ed http://www.nytimes.com/pages/opinion/index.html?th ---------------------------------------- - OP-ED - OP-ED COLUMNIST 'Gooks' to 'Hajis' By BOB HERBERT In refusing to return to war, Staff Sgt. Camilo Mejia has raised an issue that deserves a close reading by a nation emerging from a fog of misrepresentations. http://www.nytimes.com/2004/05/21/opinion/21HERB.html?th .................. OP-ED CONTRIBUTOR Rock of Ages By NICK HORNBY Rock 'n' roll remains necessary because we need exhilaration and a sense of invincibility, even if it's only now and again. http://www.nytimes.com/2004/05/21/opinion/21HORN.html?th .................. OP-ED CONTRIBUTOR Why We Built the Ivory Tower By STANLEY FISH After nearly five decades in academia, I exit with a piece of wisdom for those who work in higher education. http://www.nytimes.com/2004/05/21/opinion/21FISH.html?th .................. Go to Editorials/Op-Ed http://www.nytimes.com/pages/opinion/index.html?th ---------------------------------------- - ON THIS DAY - On May 21, 1927, Charles A. Lindbergh landed his "Spirit of St. Louis" near Paris, completing the first solo airplane flight across the Atlantic Ocean. http://www.nytimes.com/learning/general/onthisday/20040521.html Buy this front page. http://www.nytimes.com/nytstore/historicpages/frontpages/NSKEEP11.html ---------------------------------------- About This E-Mail You received these headlines because you are subscribed to Today's Headlines from NYTimes.com. Unsubscribe: http://www.nytimes.com/gst/unsub.html?email=peterlibertine@hotmail.com&id=39302655&group=th&product=all Manage My Subscriptions: http://www.nytimes.com/email/ Suggestions: http://www.nytimes.com/membercenter/formf.html How to Advertise: http://www.nytimes.com/adinfo/ Privacy Policy: http://www.nytimes.com/ref/membercenter/help/privacy.html Copyright 2004 The New York Times Company
NYTimes.com 500 Seventh Avenue New York, NY 10018
You probably dnt need this right now, but i know exactly whats its like... what its like to feel the crave that you cater for everyday...that little monster inside your head saying "go on you know you will feel better after"

Like Hamlet i had to choose between life and death, i chose both. Part of me died along with the crack/smack and wacky back, but most of me lived, occasionally i have the odd spliff but...well come on. The sad thing is i am only 16 and was a full blown addict at 13 because of my past, your how old? well i dnt know but older than me, if i can stop on my own i am sure you can. I now am studying for my A levels, and music is a big passion of mine, i play the piano and also i taught myself the guitar...i love them both like babies.

Much love and empathy to you.

Sorry if i bored you...just felt i had to say something, i am young and naive and will probably regret this so forget about it after you read it, i hope i touched your heart like you did mine.



RE: i cant wrap my arms around a memory, so hang in there!!!!!!

>From: "kayleigh joanne" <kayleigh_joanne@hotmail.com>
>To: peterlibertine@hotmail.com
>Subject: i cant wrap my arms around a memory, so hang in there!!!!!!
>Date: Fri, 21 May 2004 07:29:36 +0000
>
>dearest peter,
>
>this is kinda pointless, but u have given me so many oppertunities
>and inspiration, and i just want to thank you for that, many
>oppertuinities , including meeting a lot of friends, while quing for
>6 hours to see u play:) thank god for toys are us , and there
>sanctury from frezzing february weather!!!!!!!!
>i just wanted to tell u that you rock!!!! and that everyone is
>following babyshamles, and .org to see how your getting on!!! we are
>all really proud of you mate!!!
>if your getting bored in there you can always check out my LJ or
>talk to me on msn you can get my id from the top of the page!! i
>also have yahoo messenger my id for that is
>luva_i_need_u@yahoo.co.uk
>http://www.livejournal.com/users/luva_i_need_u/ this is the adress
>for my LJ if you get bored:)
>RE: i cant wrap my arms around a memory, so hang in there!!!!!!
>im will write you a letter as soon as i find a address,
>
>stay strong and to quote your good self, give crack free life a
>crack!!!!!! (its really not that bad you no!!!)
>
>loadsa luv + kisses
>
>luva_i_need_u
>xxxxxxxxxxxxx
>
nmoody62@hotmail.com
RE: Important
>From: nmoody62@hotmail.com
>To: peterlibertine@hotmail.com
>Subject: Important
>Date: Fri, 21 May 2004 08:00:58 +0100
>
>Important!
>
><< Part-2.zip >>
welcome to fuji, this is our arcadia.
Hello Peter,

Do you still use this account?
I'm not an English speaker so... sorry I think I cannot turn my brain to... 'English brain' right now maybe, cos it's quite difficult to write some English now. I don't know why!? But more than that, I wanted to write to you so...

We all support you, Peter. Don't forget this. You're not alone.

I hope when you come to Fuji Rock in Japan, you're having a big and crazy knees-up! like you're always having in London. I always think like... if I could be in London...

I'll get ready to give you something when I can meet you at Fuji.
Last year, I gave a card to Carl which says, 'Welcome to Fuji, this is our Arcadia.' I wish you could feel that atmophere last year but you've got this year! This year'll be much much better, man!

Take care, Peter.
Always thinking of you.

Eri.

P.S. I'm a girl who sent 'Bruman' stuff (stories on photos) for your birthday and you put my stuff on a part of the books of Albion. I'm really appriciated. That was actually a dream that I had one night. It was like the lyrics of For Lovers now I think... 'this is for lovers running away...' I wanted to tell you something before you run away, you leave, in that dream.

Oh, one more thing. I started to learn French. When I saw For Lovers video, I felt something. It's weired. I felt something special from that video. I was so approached by that Paris so I suddenly think like, I want to learn French. I want to see Paris as soon as possible in my eyes...
Hat das Zimmer Klimaanlage?
Ay, but to die, and go we know not where;
To lie in cold obstruction and to rot;
This sensible warm motion to become
A kneaded clod; and the delighted spirit
To bathe in fiery floods, or to reside
In thrilling region of thick-ribbed ice;
To be imprison'd in the viewless winds,
And blown with restless violence round about
The pendent world; or to be worse than worst
Of those that lawless and incertain thought
Imagine howling: 'tis too horrible!
The weariest and most loathed worldly life
That age, ache, penury and imprisonment
Can lay on nature is a paradise
To what we fear of death.

Keep kicking ol' bean. Hope you (get to?) want 'it' as much as everyone else wants 'it' for you.
Maybe one day I'll buy you a pint. Maybe we'll never meet again. Maybe Forest will get promoted next season, it's about time!

Best o' luck to you.
Ben

Oh, and make sure you do some scuba diving - I hear Egypt's very good.

Hi pete,
I'm writing this message to wish you the well, i came to see Babyshambles at stoke on the 28th due to my girlfriends sister got us tickets and she has been a mad libertines fan for ever. I had not heard much of your work at the time, but when i saw u play at that gig i thought it was amazing the whole place just lit up as soon as u walked on the stage. Ive since became obsessed with listening to all your recordings and absolutely love it. So this is just to wish you well and hoping to see you play again in the near future!
Keep it real m8
Dave Andrews
Hi pete,
I'm writing this message to wish you the well, i came to see Babyshambles at stoke on the 28th due to my girlfriends sister got us tickets and she has been a mad libertines fan for ever. I had not heard much of your work at the time, but when i saw u play at that gig i thought it was amazing the whole place just lit up as soon as u walked on the stage. Ive since became obsessed with listening to all your recordings and absolutely love it. So this is just to wish you well and hoping to see you play again in the near future!
Keep it real m8
Dave Andrews
Dearest Peter,

My heart jumps a beat for you x
dunno if this works. tried once before. no luck, but nevermind daft optomist here...

spose i just wanted to say keep going - it can be done... life without these things is possible. My dad has tested it out more chemicals than ICI over the last 40 years or so (inc. smack) and for most of my teens he had a very rampant coke habit, and my mum had probs with solvents (she ended up at her parents, aged 23, being cared for like a baby) but both have muddled thru to get used to a life without their various substances (dad still smokes more weed than Howard Marks and drinks like a fish, but it's 100000 times better than before) - and my mum now works with heroin users so she's seen that it can be done...

look, i know this isn't the usual poetic sweetness that most people write but for once i wanted to keep to plain speaking cos this is pretty close to my heart and any meandering into Bilo-speak would trivialise it for me a bit...

anyway, yout hotmails probably busting with mail and i should really a) sober up and b) go to bed (workles in a few hours and still not gone to bedlam) but wanted to say get yourself on track, take care, and good luck whether you decide to lead the Libs to great things or become an accordian-playing hermit in the Hebrides - you've got everyone else to tell you you're a genius in music and wordsmithery - i just wanted to say have hope.

love, tea n gaspers

Lucy
xx



 |  |   |  |  | Inbox


La vida esta llena de colores y de contrastes, a veces la cabeza se nos llena de colores fuertes que nos llenan el alma y nos hacen sentir vivos, pero otras veces es el negro y el blanco los colores que inundan nuestras mentes, son estos dos colores los que nos hacen sentirnos solos, desesperados, tristes y nos cierran el camino de la vida, pero son etapas que hay que superar, es en esos momentos en los que hay que sacar del corazon un poco de fuerza y no dejarse derrotar, sacar un poco de rojo, azul, verde, amarillo, rosado, morado,...., naranja y volverle a llenar nuestras vidas de colores. A veces la distancia no nos permite vivir y llenar nuestros ojos de los lindos colores, pero la musica suple ese vacio y me llena el alma, su musica en especial me hace sentir que vivo y por que vivo, desde hace poco llego a mi vida esa "libertad" que me ha permitido disfrutar mas a fondo la vida, pero eso no contra resta que uno se siga sintiendo solo. (tal vez ud no sepa español, pero mi ingles es pesimo, espero que algo entienda y le deseo lo mejor y que se mejore, la vida hay que vivirla al maximo y por lo que me puedo dar cuenta ud lo esta haciendo, pero no hay que acabar con ella por llegar al maximo estamos jovenes para morir, y eso lo unico que logra es acercarnos cada vez mas a esa tal vez temida o esperada muerte) Desde colombia le deseo lo mejor.

_______________________________________________________________________________
Well i will try to write in english its difficult but, i would like to tell u that i wish u the best i hope u get well soon (i know its a litter late but the intention is the important) well i hope that u can understand what i wrote above and ur music makes me feel something inside me that i never know that exist. well my english sucks and be happy!!!

La vida esta llena de colores y de contrastes, a veces la cabeza se nos llena de colores fuertes que nos llenan el alma y nos hacen sentir vivos, pero otras veces es el negro y el blanco los colores que inundan nuestras mentes, son estos dos colores los que nos hacen sentirnos solos, desesperados, tristes y nos cierran el camino de la vida, pero son etapas que hay que superar, es en esos momentos en los que hay que sacar del corazon un poco de fuerza y no dejarse derrotar, sacar un poco de rojo, azul, verde, amarillo, rosado, morado,...., naranja y volverle a llenar nuestras vidas de colores. A veces la distancia no nos permite vivir y llenar nuestros ojos de los lindos colores, pero la musica suple ese vacio y me llena el alma, su musica en especial me hace sentir que vivo y por que vivo, desde hace poco llego a mi vida esa "libertad" que me ha permitido disfrutar mas a fondo la vida, pero eso no contra resta que uno se siga sintiendo solo. (tal vez ud no sepa español, pero mi ingles es pesimo, espero que algo entienda y le deseo lo mejor y que se mejore, la vida hay que vivirla al maximo y por lo que me puedo dar cuenta ud lo esta haciendo, pero no hay que acabar con ella por llegar al maximo estamos jovenes para morir, y eso lo unico que logra es acercarnos cada vez mas a esa tal vez temida o esperada muerte) Desde colombia le deseo lo mejor.

_______________________________________________________________________________
Well i will try to write in english its difficult but, i would like to tell u that i wish u the best i hope u get well soon (i know its a litter late but the intention is the important) well i hope that u can understand what i wrote above and ur music makes me feel something inside me that i never know that exist. well my english sucks and be happy!!!


>From: "Donna MacMillan" <donnabot@hotmail.com>
>To: peterlibertine@hotmail.com
>Subject: RE: Hi
>Date: Fri, 21 May 2004 00:08:58 +0000
>
>thank you (if its really you!)
>
>can't wait to see u at t in the park!
>love donna
>
>
>>From: "Peter Doherty" <peterlibertine@hotmail.com>
>>To: donnabot@hotmail.com
>>Subject: RE: Hi
>>Date: Fri, 21 May 2004 00:07:09 +0000
>>
>>xx
>>
>>
>>>From: "Donna MacMillan" <donnabot@hotmail.com>
>>>To: peterlibertine@hotmail.com
>>>Subject: Hi
>>>Date: Thu, 20 May 2004 21:35:48 +0000
>>>
>>>Oh Peter, i hope you're doing ok. I hope you get better soon and
>>>continue to make beatiful music. You have touched my life in more
>>>ways than you can possibly imagine. Im sorry to clog up your
>>>email account.
>>>Love you
>>>Donna
hello everybody, hope this mail finds you all well. happy easter by the way, it came and went, without me noticing. they don't have have easter eggs, bunnies and bonnets in this far flung land.

but, it is a new season here in japan, and as all japanese people will tell you, the definition between the seasons is something to go mad about. unlike in england, where apparently even a train cannot arrive on time, here the sun shines on time, the cherry blossoms bloom and die on time, and the people follow suit, removing the pizza dumplings from the convenience store on time, and changing the hot drinks in the vending machines back to cold. so as you can imagine, my staple diet has had to change dramatically.

but spring is in the air, and after much contemplation, my life is about to change dramatically. in japan, people admire the cherry blossoms as they reflect the impernance and beauty of life itself, so around this time of year, a lot of time is devoted to drinking oneself blind drunk under a pretty tree (which is virtually ignored for the afternoon) and then puking. well actually, this year i chose to spend my time a little differently, enjoying the odd days of spare time alone with my camera, taking endless photos and really doing a lot of thinking about my life. how the cherry blossom season represents life itself is a particularly resonant idea in a country where the pace of life is like that of a bullet train, and for me in particular, really quite poignant since i seem to just survive this life catching odd moments of sleep on crowded trains as they rattle through the metropolis, taking me to job after job after job.... it wasn't until i sat down under a tree i realised how thoroughly burned out i am, and how far i am away from realising my dreams and what i came here to do. i guess right now, the soundtrack to my life would be the elevator music that endlessly plays in these huge skyscrapers, and that's not the soundtrack i want for my life thank you very much. i am holding down 2 very good jobs now and have various other things on the go, but i've decided to quit the lot and and take a huge leap of faith with my photography. i have some contacts, yet no guarantees (i guess thee aren't any in this life). all i want is time to think and get something together and see how far i can get. so as of may 10th not only can you expect more e mails, but also, my full time job is going to be...artist!! i have some exhibition spaces lined up, as yet no funding, but i have a few decent looking trees to bark up so i'm just going to take a chance on life and try and achieve my dreams....

watch this space! well, i really hope that spring is bringing you all the same (perhaps unrealistic, mildly idiotic) optimism as myself. i don't think i've ever been happier!

tell me your news, lots of love tamara x x x x

Hello heavyhorse, You have received a new private message to your account on "thelibertines.com" and you have requested that you be notified on this event. You can view your new message by clicking on the following link:
-
Hi Pete,
My name is Cat. I gave you a Valentine's card in Liverpool...did you find a Valentine to go with my card?
I am missing the Libs at the mo. Are you coming to the north-west soon?
Hope you had a good Easter, I'm boycotting from now on cos it's a waste of time. At least I got a break from my 9to5 though...
love
Cat
xxx
Dear Peter
Good to hear you're out. Hope things are going ok, waking in a clean, warm double bed sounds comforting. I wanted to send you this quote which a very dear friend wrote to me when I went through my darkest hour. Maybe one day when I meet you I can tell you the story it doesn't involve drugs only how I nearly lost the love of my life throught the stupidity of his friend.
The quote is from the Lord of the Rings but the words stayed with me and in times of need I dig out this card and read it.
Frodo was now safe in the Last Homely House east of the sea. That house was, as Bilbo had long ago reported, 'a perfect house, whether you like food or sleep, or story telling or singing, or just sitting and thinking best, or a pleasant mixture of them all'. Merely to be there was a cure for weariness, fear and sadness.
J.R.R.Tolkien- Lord of the Rings.
Angels Raphael and Michael smile upon child of light.
Be good
With love and light
Cxx
hey pete,
ive just visited your site...jesus man, you have so many people that need and love you...you're the luckiest wanker alive...get well and dont let them down.
aileen
message from me mum
Sir, get some proper food down your neck, or she'll force feed you a roast
xx
Remember that you can always choose not to be notified of new messages by changing the appropriate setting in your profile. -- Thanks, Kirsty and Kirsty



>From: "ben robinson" <k0bain@hotmail.com>
>To: peterlibertine@hotmail.com
>Subject: RE: thank you so much, i am now the happiest person on the planet1
>Date: Sun, 11 Apr 2004 18:14:50 +0000
>
>i am humbly sorry. but being as sorry as i am, i didnt really under
>stand that last e-mail(the one im replying to) sorry for anything
>said that shouldnt have been said. maby we can start again.
>yours faithfully
>ben x
>
>
>>From: "Peter Doherty" <peterlibertine@hotmail.com>
>>To: k0bain@hotmail.com
>>Subject: RE: thank you so much, i am now the happiest person on the
>>planet1
>>Date: Sun, 11 Apr 2004 18:10:51 +0000
>>
>>Dear Ben,
>>listen mate, don't say shit like that noone's better`than noone
>>don't gimme that pap my son.. it doesn't become you
>>yours faithfully, Peter x
>>
>>
>>>From: "ben robinson" <k0bain@hotmail.com>
>>>To: peterlibertine@hotmail.com
>>>Subject: RE: thank you so much, i am now the happiest person on
>>>the planet1
>>>Date: Sun, 11 Apr 2004 17:30:54 +0000
>>>
>>>dear peter..
>>>shit!!! i got another one. pwah. i don't get much better than
>>>that!.
>>>how was the elephant and castle gig last nite??
>>>did u really mean that i make you happy? me, an insignificant no
>>>one, specially compared to you.
>>>i love you even more now. i am so damn happy!!
>>>love benxxx
>>>
>>>
>>>>From: "Peter Doherty" <peterlibertine@hotmail.com>
>>>>To: k0bain@hotmail.com
>>>>Subject: RE: thank you so much, i am now the happiest person on
>>>>the planet1
>>>>Date: Sun, 11 Apr 2004 17:27:36 +0000
>>>>
>>>>dear Ben,
>>>>aah, you soppy old whatsit... i think we make each other happy. I
>>>>mean that .. Arcady is upon us
>>>>nd unity and splendour skip hand in hand
>>>>peter x ever yours
>>>>
>>>>
>>>>>From: "ben robinson" <k0bain@hotmail.com>
>>>>>To: peterlibertine@hotmail.com
>>>>>Subject: thank you so much, i am now the happiest person on the
>>>>>planet1
>>>>>Date: Sun, 04 Apr 2004 12:30:55 +0000
>>>>>
>>>>>dear peter,
>>>>>i cannot beleive that i got an e-mail from my idol and one an
>>>>>only hero.
>>>>>thank you so much for taking the time to read and reply to my
>>>>>e-mail. you have made me the happiest person on the planet!!!
>>>>>maby it is time that i set an agenda. well, (oh fuck im so happy
>>>>>i can't think of one!) maby if you set an agenda it will be more
>>>>>interesting
>>>>>with love, ben x
>>>>>
>>>>
>>>
>>
>
thats me. the other e-mail probably had more interesting stuff on it(the one i just sent you).
i dont mean to be pushy. i would do anything for you if you asked. thats how madly in love i am with the libertines and you.
please can we keep up the frequent comunication. it is making me so happy, and is raising me out of the depressesd puddle i have been in for several months.
love ben xx

Good morning Peter,

From Devon, I'm e-mailing you. In the early hours of the morning. I'm trying to think of reasons to stay awake, I don't think I could fall asleep yet, even though I'm ridiculously tired. Pepping myself up with drinks of coca cola and orange squash, and e-mailing everyone I'm able to write a near interesting e-mail to.
It feels like an age since I've last been to a Libertines gig, or a gig of yours at least. Things keep cropping up, really unavoidable things. I'm wracking my brains actually, trying to think of the last time... I think it was the rock against racism gig. Things keep jumping in the way. There were some gigs a few weeks back, but I was stuck in severe financial shit, misjudging the money I'd spent, and then my rent being paid, leaving me with £5 cash on my window sill to last me 4 weeks or so. Ended up having to beg my Mum to send me a tenner in the post for food, then got the bus to the bank to get a student credit card thing. I dread to think of all the debt I'm getting myself into. I keep telling myself it'll all get paid off some day... some day.
That doesn't matter at the moment though. I'm back home in Devon for 4 more days. I came home to spend Easter and my 21st birthday with my parents. Things are a bit strange at the moment. My Dad was diagnosed with prostate cancer a couple months back, so I've been wanting to be home here as much as possible. Apparently it's not spread anywhere else in his body, and they can contain it within the prostate with regular injections, but they're not able to give him chemotherapy to completely remove it, because he had a course of chemotherapy in the 70s to treat his ankylosing spondylitis arthritis - they used chemotherapy to treat that back then, so chances are he'll never be cured of it. It's so sad. When I'm away from home thinking about it I can get really upset, but when I'm actually home here it's completely different, from the way everyone behaves it's as if nothing's wrong, which I suppose is the best way to be. Why cry over milk that's not been spilt yet? Or something.

Ah that's too morbid. Devon's doing me good. Appledore is possibly the most quaint village in England. To describe it, it's all built along one main road, the same road you take to enter the village is the road you take to leave it. First of all there's Kingsley Road, which runs past the primary school I used to go to, with Anchor park opposite it, then down Richmond Road, past the old red phonebox on the corner, down past Odun Road, which was supposedly the site of an ancient Viking battle, along Marine Parade past the butchers and the British Legion Hall, then along the quayside, next to the River Torridge, turning left along the riverfront, with the Co-Op, Post Office and Quay Gift shop, incidentally behind these is Market Street which houses the Newsagents I worked for in one way or another from 12-18, carrying along the Quayside to the carpark, Dave Hocking's Ice Cream van, then up a slight hill to the Appledore Baptist Church, where my Mum is currently a deacon, then the graveyard and the St. Marys Church, along a little more to the St. Marys Church Hall that used to host my Beavers and Cub Scouts meetings every... Thursday night I think, along a little further to Irsha Street, a really narrow street with small little houses either side, and the river Torridge again on the other side, carry along, past the Beaver and the Royal George pubs, further still out toward the lifeboat slip and the rock pools, on the corner of Appledore, looking out over to Hartland Point on the other side of the Estuary, and far out the other way Bideford Bay, which leads out to the Atlantic Ocean, in the midst of the water you can, on a clear day, make out Lundy Island, a small island in the middle of Bideford Bay which is home to a handfull of people and hundreds of puffins. There's a ship that takes visitors out the Lundy Island during the summer, for day trips, there's little there other than an old church, and a few houses, but the greenery, and the views are amazing, you can just walk it for hours on end. And there's a few beaches which are nice for a little bit of lazing around when the sun gets too much. Anyway, back to the village...
Up past the lifeboat slip to Jubilee Road, further on up to The Mount, with the tenement flats where my Gran lives, in her den of hardback books, then walking up the muddy side path, toward Lookout Field, the most beautiful sight in the entire world. You climb over a small stile, and then into the field, which is sometimes full of sheep or cows, other times just covered in their droppings, ignoring this, looking out over the entire Bideford Bay, and the Taw and Torridge Estuary, over Hartland Point, Saunton Sands, Baggy Point on one side, and Bideford Bay itself on the other, searching far out to the wide sea that leads to the Atlantic Ocean. When the tide is in it's just a mass of water, but when the tide is out the Estuary is a wide expanse of sand with the odd lake of water here and there, which eventually leads out again to the ocean.

Lookout field is my favourite place in the world. I've not been able to take a walk up there yet, annoyingly, because the weather has been cold and raining since I came back home, I want to try to before I go back toward London though. I want to take my book and a pen up there and just sit and write and write and write. I want to come back here for a few days in the summer and do just that, in the summer sun. I never appreicated these things as much when I lived here full time. And now that I'm about to move away from here near enough for good I'm starting to realise what I'm about to leave behind. It's hard, but I think much more is waiting for me up in London.

So yeah, Devon's done me good. I've had quite a lazy time so far. Going to go into town on Saturday night for birthday celebrations, though most of my old friends from round here are off other places now, backpacking or off at uni somewhere. A few of them are still about, earning an honest wage, and they've promised to give me a decent night. Then easter eggs and a roast dinner on Sunday, a final lazy day on Monday, and then I'm back up to London on Tuesday for 2 more weeks of my Easter holidays. I'm hoping to get to the For Lovers single launch on Tuesday. And then I believe there's something going on on Thursday. It all sounds good anyway.

Right, it's 4am now. Time for me to turn in for the night. Hot cross buns for Good Friday breakfast in the morning!

Take care,
Love
hello, peter. why is it i only write to you when im drunk. im sorry if when i wrote you the last message i gave the impression theat i was annoyed with you. to be honest, when i wrote it i didnt think that you would read it so when i got a reply i felt quite bad cos i felt that the whole stan stylee message was quite harsh. so i am sorry for that. and i really don't expect you to write everyday, because im sure that you are quite busy and you have other things to attend to. im really cold at the moment, as the heatings not on, and ive only just got in from being out. do you have many easter eggs? i remember when i used to have loads! i only get one now, and thats from my mom. i have a white maltesers one this year. i love white chocolate. don't you think it's the best? so, yeah, i just wanted to say hi, and check you're doing ok. im gonna go to bed now, as it is almost half three in the morning. im on work at half 12 tomorrow. although i guess it's today now, isnt it? i work at clarks shoe shop incase you wondering. well done for getting on the a list on radio one. i heard your song thre times today!!!!
nighty night, and good luck in everything. i hope the gods of arcady give you blessed riches and fortunes aswell.
lots of love
marie (aka, jane eyre)
xx


ah well it doesnt matter must have just got the wrong end of the stick
cheers though
lots of love jess x

Hows it going Mr Doherty, Ive just stumbled across some Babyshambles songs and was very impressed(Kill a man for his Giro was superb), although a positive move for you and the crew of Babyshambles I feel a slightly bit insecure about the Libertines and its future. I know that this is incredably selfish of me as, apart from the music I know nothing about you. I feel this new project is extremely exiting and look forward to the first release, although the Libertines is a very speical thing and hope it does not end, the libs are a volatile band, like the greatest bands are(the sex pistols), please take care and good luck with the new band but takr the rough with the smooth, it will makes things better in the end!
i'm sooooo happy to hear that!
there is a rumor that you're coming to fujirock festival, i hope it would be true.
i'm looking forward to seeing you again

i'm always thinking about you.
and your new single is beautiful!!

take care,

Chia x

Dear Peter, Ahh, I'm a stranger to you, and there's no real reason for me writing this, other than I was taken by an urge and thought I should. And what harm can it do? I just thought I'd say ta a bit... I had a bit of a dark night this evening and was feeling tossy. Who'd have thought I could lose myself in a song for a few minutes and come out feeling so much dandier. Last Post on the Bugle, Peter... it seems odd but there's a purity in that song and so many of your others that it couldn't help but give me faith in the strength of a small song in a dark hour. Does this make sense? I can't explain it but I don't really want to, like when I'm playing a song I don't have external feelings but that's the beauty. I just thought I'd send you this note so that you know, I listened to the song and i picked up the guitar and things didn't matter for those minutes. If ever you doubt, a song can do a world of good to restore my happiness, so don't lose yours. To you and the rest of the Libertines (and while you're at it anyone sailing on the Albion, innit), up the bracket!
and I'll buy you a drink, as a perhaps more tangible sign of gratitude. Knowhatimean? Phil x
tried you twice on that mobile via text message, me pal- but no return!
either
1) I have the wrong or old number

2) you too busy this day!

so i stay home and listen to Funtime off The Idiot by iggy pop and play with audrey the puppy
here at Anna's awesome flat that i'm babysitting foir a while.....

Pete,
I hope you are well; I know you have the strength to get through this. I'm just a random person that you don't know but this is just a quick note to say that you're in my thoughts, and I hope you feel better soon.
hugs
Fiona
sir, i hope all is going well with you.

x
--
---


Dear Peter, I've read on the Babyshambles forum a lot of letters from fans and friends giving you overwhelming support and encouragement while you are where you are. I'm a fan and it's horrible to know that you are where you are, without even having met you. Good luck getting back on the straight and narrow and look forward to hearing your new stuff. Not really much else to say to somebone I don't know. Take care of yourself. A Boy Named Sue. PS. Is Morrissey just like he is on TV? I've never been sure if it was sort of an act he puts on or if he genuinely is that cynical. Hmmm. A thought to
hey thanks peter, just one more! (before the affects of alcohol kicked in) was a great nite, expected to see you & carl there though, we didnt make it to the barfly...maybe next time
corinne x
ps: we're in the making of an indie-slut website - will keep you posted!