first day ever after was sunny as Marvin Gaye sang so straightforwardly, and what to tell‘No I don’t \know just why…
The broken hearts oh the wheels that just turned
The memory scarred and the vision is blurred
No I don’t know which way don’t know which way to turn
The best possible use’
I got this ticket to useIn a garden am I, well, as ghllffffffffffffffffffr - bang! Just in time the tape recorder sets itself up and plays plays radio transistorspeil rhetoric for the nonsensical sake of random as the earth I say the shy sun, making everything hot, as if the worlds end front line wasn’t hot enough b ut thyen I wouldn't know so much. A mothers tears. I attend to visitors and their knocks yells whistles with weary someone’s back patterned with dry blossom that falls in windfalls, as a wind chime rattles out a tin pot shimmering melody
-coughing tastes foul.
There can be no visitors now. I am alone again or…
see a doctor and she’s booking me a ticket first thing.Everyone so glad I’m being shipped off the Thailand. This is one opportunity I’m just gonna have to pass up on baby. There’s other thing =s to get straightened ojut crooked as the are see… crooked \as yae the see
First things first and there was no ticket, there was no money. The money from the Sun? went to shelter actually. James Endeacote has spread a malicious rumour that there £3000 waiting for me, but where?
[‘B lucky’ ‘U will keep’ ‘U cant want the £3000.That much.B lucky’
Who is taking this piss out of who?.B lucky] Be lucky? Ha I made me own luck too much of the bleedin stuff - the busy bee thought he no need or time for oh sorrow why am I pretending always to care and.. And..and the cut worm forgives the plough.I can contact noone. They called in the heavy troops, ie my mum. She gave me a good walloping and then a cuddle, took all my shoes, all my stashes of drugs (and to a man I was a hamster stash cunning, loft flap in the shower room, inside my pillow, in the matress, sellotaped under chairs)
I’m a week back in the priory.\ Clean and er, serene
When today I carried the coffin thoughts manoeuvred steadily, across Kilburn estates up and over concrete bunkers, steadily always to a delightful dream of you, Rini. I know I know. Later the same day the coffin became a pumpkin skin urn, to float on the pond where Sundays used to go.
Kicking a ball around in one of the original ‘guiness’ QPR replica kids strip
When I write I’m all corrugated wastelands punctured footballs, collisions in infinity with sorts, stranded souls, tut tut tirades in longing looks she young man’s trilby bus stop impoverished imaginations blown off the air, and when I live it’s something similar but with dark spells in hustled advantages over the night. I’m a crack whore all in all fits of temper to lash out indifferent to catastrophes in Palestine, and brutality from him upstairs on her upstairs poor moo suffered many a year to proudly wear those marriage bruises. One day soon, unbeknown to myself and her upstairs, we will kill him. I have thought of it before, but never using details in cold , still, calculated terms, traffic forecasts, lunch hours, his lover’s dog, his lover’s dog’s dentistry.
Messages today? When I reach Paris I’ll sleep so you so and so you won’t even know about it.
“
play lists commandeered
09 Track 909 Track 909 Track 909 Track 909 Track 909 Track 9 that’s all it says09 Track 9what a waster lovers of today the ballad of grimaldi
There is no such place as Paris. tomorrow I go to Thailand
Barnes common, gutted on the trail, London will not await me but some spilt entrails line the knobbly way through the trees to the old station. A mothers embitterred hope (a bit of hope?) oh there must be ... I can't be anything but a junkie to her can I? she was there for me..the cavalry now I am free, in my mind and my heart and adventure I seek. Thailand..Alan and mum see it as the next step on the cleanliness trail, gateway to bilo's eastern adventures. I have a collection of songs for you A Palace of Bone and other untitleds
There is always hope sweetheart. We have eternal love faith and hope for you. Thailand is beautiful, we've seen the pictures...the perfect place for you to regroup? Whatever it takes.
Songs? Email them to us maybe... One by one to whateveryoudamnplease@babyshambles.com and we'll sort them for you.. or pass them to Alan to give to us maybe? Safe journeys my lad, we're here for you whenever you need us.
dont let them destroy your faith in love...i pass this on to all of you from the brave horse
a night filled with tut tuts and sweats, seeping, weepfull forgets
forgets for new ones..pretend ones
dont let them destroy your faith in love
delivered to me on the whitest wings of a dove
the warmness of his mothers heart
for years been soaked under dark
awoken by his maidens lark
born from promises of that simpleness in parks
dont let them destroy your faith in love
in one bonny task he declouded that foreign mask of sweats berserk forgets in love in faith what all remains when all he thinks is destroyed
tinny tinny tramp tramp n is lady tut tut...they left me in the night
they chose love
when hope had slept
no no just a tempremental forget of knots and what to nots and when to how to? who knows
i woke to find the world had not taken the 'infiinite sleeping potion'
that end of world notion
but merly
with words
'dont let them destroy your faith in love'
i received them...your mum has such a warm and loving voice...
'this is peter dohertys mum he has a message for you ....*** X***XX** love
and with that my 3 hour english exam awoke...and yes i wrote words..language
of what i beleive and not sir shakespeare or austen
in every photo booth i see
i see theres always that remaining...what? and maybe
i saw a tall feller, walking at st pancras station with his geetar in hand, he told me he was getting away from things, he went on the first train he could up north.....
i took a picture. captured the memory. showed him the picture a few months back at the thunders birthday party.
there were months of rain and thundr, rains pouring inside your head ow for a new day.
you are bitter sweet in love and frowinging lover in great matrress pillow fights. Ow, dont you now resign to the deathly pale desire. You should not put up a fight biut leit come, the thing that cometh is love, Love, love. I see this so pure true you blue, so true blue blue for you.
You are baby sweet. So keep holding tight and things will keep sweet.
much kisses an love
Maria
xxxxxxxxxxxxxx
