NME are right this time at least, there are some people that just need to be on tour their whole lives and like those people; maybe I'm one of them? Unfortunately, for someone who needs to be on tour I've only managed it twice...not good going but lucky at least to have had a chance.
When you're not on tour and your side goes off without you; then London is too big and empty on that day....and with my new found estrangement, this is very likely to be the case from now on...
...then Jo comes in and has a word in my shell-like...."listen Jo, we steal a bus when they're changing drivers and make sure it's just left the depot so it's full of petrol and then we drive round Blighty on a tour of our own".
That's a great idea! I had to hand it to him; he's done it again.
Now I've just got to get an audience and with no venue or press that's gonna be difficult.
Then I got a flash of inspiration.
Follow other people's tours and play to their fans when they're queuing up outside the venue. What's more; it's a captive audience. Plus, they're bound to come in to our bus because this time of month it's usually freezin'and if not then we play outside.
"Hey Jo, I'll call it the 'Queue Tour' what do you think?"
"It's a terrible name".
"Yeah you're right, it's not got the panache of David Bowie's 'Glass Spider' tour, how about we use the elements of the 'Glass spider' tour but change it enough to sound like it's come from us but still slightly Bowie-ish?
How about....I've got it! The 'Cermaic Snail' tour?
"It's a terrible name".
"Ah fuck it! You're right, maybe I wont bother then".
"That's it Jo; you used to be a trier; now you just go home and complain".
"Thanks Jo, goodnight".
"Goodnight".
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