It was very quiet in the attic. The most noise was generally when birds flew past. There were boards over all the windows. One at the far end of the attic, however, was loose. In this way she could see a tiny speck of sky if she pulled at the loose spot. Burt and Mary had not nailed it down properly. The sky was always grey and this sight coupled with the chill in the attic made her think it was winter again. This meant she had been locked up there for a whole year.
May we see you feet? the Little Chinese Children asked, so the Old Chinese Man showed them his feet. May we see the palms of your hands? asked the Little Chinese Children, so the Old Chinese Man held out his hands for them to see. Palm up.
Benny was jerking off. He was looking into time/space and jerking off. His hands moved up and down firmly on his rod. He saw nebulae, stars and planets floating around him. The Milky Way sparkling, a string of life. It was a sensation of floating through air which is moving all around you in a cress. He drifted past these glowing orbs watching comets, shooting stars and trails of light moving in harmony. Life between his legs throbbing, life between his legs. He knew he was part of a greater whole. He was inside something. Outside the something he was in was something else. He came.
She was driving her new car carefully. The baby was in the back cooing and chortling to itself while it wobbled its fat hands in front of its fat face. Every now and then she glanced back at it, smiling encouragement. The radio was on to the Carols station. Im dreaming of a White Christmas, just like the ones I used to know. She always kept one eye on the road, one eye on the five trays of freshly baked Christmas cookies in the front seat next to her. Where the tree tops glisten, and children listen. Then she was spinning, spinning. She couldnt think or breathelike an out of control Merry-Go-Round. She imagined the music. There was stopping, burning. The breath was knocked out of her. Some power was grasping at her throat. The baby was howling. She felt broken, broken. There was steam, fire, her face was cold and crushed against icy asphalt. She could not move. There was a ringing. The baby was howling. There was great light before her then, a great light that covered everything. Merry Fucking Christmas, she thought.
In Miami everything is gay. The people are gay, the postcards are gay, the beach is gay, the boardwalk is definitely gay. Even the museums are gay. That is why I was so surprised to see a gimp in a wheelchair rolling down the main boulevard in South Beach. It was night, but a sultry Florida night. A taste of the tropics where night seduces you. All the restaurants were lit up. Couples passed arm-in-arm. It was my first night visiting and right there was the gimp. The even queerer thing was is that I actually knew The Gimp. It was The Gimp. He worked at my High School. My first thought was: oh no! I hope he doesnt see me. My second was: What on Earth is he doing in South Beach? The Gimp was even wearing a Hawaiian shirt as well as a straw hat. The Gimp had odd jobs around my school back home. He would check hall passes and other menial shit. I never liked him. Never Fucking Liked Him. People gave him the benefit of the doubt because he was a gimp. Once I was in the Boys Locker Room and I saw him buying weed from some boy. I never found out what that Gimp was doing in South Beach.
...say your prayers
say your prayers
say your prayers
say your prayers
"Les yeux sans visage eyes without a face
Les yeux sans visage eyes without a face
Les yeux sans visage eyes without a face
Got no human grace your eyes without a face."
It was her first time doing blow. She was nervous, but excited. Her friends had been telling her about it for so long. Youll love it baby, Christina had told her, one finger twiddling with her long blonde hair, you have to try it Betsey, it will turn you on. Now here she was, alone in her dorm room and there was the little bag, a mirror, a razor, a dollar bill and three neatly cut, neatly spaced, slightly shimmering lines. She rolled the bill with quivering fingers and leaned forward. Rush up, it hit her like a snowball. Absorbing it. Two, three. She waited, head back. The cocaine spread through her face. She took an involuntary breath in. Moan in. It was a blizzard, an avalanche, TV fuzz warming her brain. Breathe in. She thought about pearly gates. Try it baby, said Christina, her dark eyes smiling, I really think youll like it. Gee, who doesnt? It will turn you on baby, try it, try it.
"promise me".......................
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