because my hair was doing EXACTLY what it sounds like yours is doing. I had splits, not bad, but you know how you notice 'em on your own hair the worst..... Well, I had my mom take off the bottom coupla inches. I nearly had a coronary just making the decision, but once I made it, I am so happy. Two inches will be grown back by....what?....July? That would be a good birthday present to me, I think. Those bottom inches were really pretty dry. Another thing that my hair loves is silicones. Yeah, I know. Some folks here hate 'em, but I clarify with either a clarifying s/c a coupla times a month, or use vinegar rinse. Anyhow, silicones are great for me, but someone mentioned (and I believe it) that monoi on silicone is trouble. I think that is maybe true. So, if I am going to apply monoi when my hair is towel-dry, I make sure that I use Mastey or something without cones. That worked a WHOLE lot better! If I am super-oiling before bed, and gonna wash the next morning, it doesn't matter so much.
Another thing that I found is Aussie Slip. Great stuff. But I like to use it a little differently than maybe others do: I put it in a spray bottle 1:10 with soft water and spritz that on my hair after I wash it, and the next morning when I've got bed-head, braid-head going on. I've even put it on my husband's hair when it was kinda tangly. He said "what ARE you doing?" but I kept on and he actually noticed and MENTIONED the difference he felt later in the day! I really like that Aussie Slip. You could add it to the final cold-water rinse, if you'd prefer (I keep a half-gallon pitcher of water on the shower floor for the final rinse; add the Slip to that and mix it in well.)
Another thing that helped me was to not wash all the way to the ends. I have posted many times my conditioner-only washing instructions (let me know if you want them; I'd be happy to cut-n-paste them for you) but I also have become a recent devotee to Martine's CWC washing method. In a nutshell, you get your hair wet, apply conditioner to the hair from the jawline down, wait a few minutes while you wash your face or something, THEN shampoo just the scalp and the first few inches of hair. When you rinse the shampoo out, the conditioner that you have applied to the length will protect the length from the effects (possibly drying?) of the shampoo. Rinse well, then condition your whole head like you would do if you had shampooed the whole thing normally. I LOVE that one, and the first time I did it my hair seemed to be UNABLE to tangle! Really. Anytime I would run my fingers through the length, I couldn't find a single tangle it seemed! (this was after I'd trimmed off the troublemaking dead/split stuff)
I hope this helps, and that I've not induced you into a coma with the length of the post.....
4" / 29.5" / 34 (waist) with less of a U-shape
2a-b F ii med brown with red highlights and some grey gaining on me as we speak.....