Hi Girls,

I'm a little nervous about this up coming party I am going to in San Deigo this coming weekend. I really want to go, but my husband can't make it because of work. The party is for some dear friends of ours that are moving out of the country. There are going to be a ton of old friends from my church in SD, I haven't seen in ages. Most of my close friends will be there, and some of which I newly pregnant. (as I mentioned in an earlier post) I haven't seen many of these people in a long time, well actually since I got married almost 2 years ago. So, I know they will have a ton of questions, especially concerning why aren't ya a mommy yet? You know all the stuff people can say, jokes and such. Especially when my best friend will be there and she's "on her 3rd". I know there will be girls from highs school who since then, have married and had babies or will be pregnant. It's almost like a class reunion, but a going away party instead. (ha ha)

Also, I don't know how I can "kindly avoid" spending time with my 3 close girlfriends whom are all pregnant. One whom called today to ask me to stay the night after the party. Normally I'd be sooo excited to go! But today, I cried. I am imagining how the party will be, and I don't know now if I should attend. It's bittersweet. I want so desperately to see my dear friends off, who knows if I will see them again. But, yet I don't know if emotionally I can handle the questions from well meaning friends. This is my first party or gathering of any type that I'm attending since I've been TTC and dealing with infertility. And I will be going alone, with out my support (husband).

And ontop of that, I will be taking Clomid CD3-7 as soon as my AF arrives, and clomid can make me emotionally. I am hoping to arrange it so I can stay over at a friend of mine who isn't married or pregnant, and that'll help. But, still I know I won't be able to avoid the old buddies who will be at the party. I guess I am feeling guilty.

I'm still waiting for my AF. I can't begin my IUI cycle until she does. I have no stinken idea when she'll arrive, but I'm guessing soon. I'm breaking out like I usually do when I get my period. Today I looked in the mirror and told DH "I'm breaking out, yea! My period is coming!" Oh my gosh, he and I both laughed. I think I might be losing my mind!(ha ha) I can't believe I actually was excited about acne! ahhhhhhhh

Love Donna

I have a new approach when people ask me when my hubby and I are going to have kids. I smile sweetly and say, "oh, I can't have children, I'm infertile". I have to admit, I love the reaction. Its a bit obnoxious, but its better than the alternative. Before, I used to try to find some clever or evasive quip, now the awkwardness is transferred to them and I feel empowered (as strange as it may seem). I lose the sense of shame when I say it.

Have a great time with your friends!

I absolutely loved what you said, how empowering! I really like how you put that. I will let you know how your line works...(hee hee) Thanks!

love donna

I am trying to call you