Firstly, i don't remember much from Eddies stag-do.

My wereabouts between 01.00am and 02.00am escape me.

how i climbed a large grass bank and why i chose this destination as my accomodation has not come back to me yet.

However, there is one thing i do remember.

It started as a dream, but one small yet incredibly efficient flame haired midget plans to make the dream a reality.

I would like to arrange a friendly match between the current Maple leaf Rovers team, and those of us fortunate enough to have left.

Depending on when your season begins, i tentitively suggest that the game take place pre-season - the last weekend in august or early september (i am away for the majority of august)or an in season weekend when you don't have a fixture

I understand that the majority of clowns that read these messages are current squad members. however, i am sure many of you are still in contact with our all-star players from yester-year. if you have email addresses for any ex-players please forward them to me so i can assemble a squad of world beaters.

here are a few names which should fill the current playing staff with fear:

Taffy
Terry
Greavsie
Fisher
Pike (not quite so scary)
Jimmy randle
i could go on.......and i will:
wicksie
Homer
Jamie
Dave
Bodie

so, what do you think? do you have the minerals?

HOMER

How could you forget players like Dave Dixon, Shaun, Mark (Andys step son)......

ok losers i am back from my austrian training camp ready to organise the long awaited fixture.

how does the festive season fit in with your fixtures?

As Ade has pointed out to me the B'ham League make us play on Saturdays throughout the Xmas holidays (or they did last year).

Though hopefully something could be arranged, perhaps on a weekday during the Xmas hols?

Do you have enough ex-players to make a team - or will there be some ringers?

I'm sure the liks of Wootton, Sid, Little Ste and Nick's ginger mate would all appreciate a game!

Is Nicks' ginger mate Ade??

What are you implying here young Sadler??

Brooksy - that's the bloke, couldn't remember his name at the time!

I don't think Nick would be too happy if I outed him as having Ade Lewis for a mate...

Club Rules Addition:-

33.4.1 - People on the sidelines of the match, who are not partaking in the game, shall bring as much alcohol as they can to 'dampen' the senses of watching Maple Leaf play*.

* Watching Maple Leaf 'play' football is at entirely at the viewer's risk. Maple Leaf accept no responsibilty for botulisms that occur to people watching the game.

i like the idea of a midweek game in the christmas holidays. the week between your game on the 20th and christmas day?

what are your lots work commitments that week - being a teacher i will be lounging around drinking my pathetic pay cheque - but i am not sure what the real world does during that time.

A floodlit astroturf game would be another good idea - full length pitch with a neutral referee?

I have an idea of my line up but everyone who wants a game should play - those wanting to plead their case should email me:

markrhomer@hotmail.com

Homer the everliving

I haven't spoken to Homer about this for a while. Will probably have to mail him to see if we can set one up.