Most Noticeable Effects Of Hollywood Pairing Up With The NHL
by Slotsy
1. Alexandre Daigle pairs with Ron Jeremy to do puck films.
2. Yuppie Heaven concession stands now carry Goobers and Raisinettes.
3. Eric Lindros sends Sasheen Littlefeather on stage to refuse his Hart Trophy.
4. Overenthusiastic fans shushed by flashlight-wielding usher.
5. Over-the-hill vets leap to their deaths from hillside "Mighty Ducks" sign.
6. Just before real game, team shown trailers of upcoming opponents.
7. Just before game, lights go out and that damned Wehrenberg theme blares.
8. Muny Opera season now features old, broken-down hockey players.
9. Mary Hart gets seizures listening to Bernie Federko.
10. Anaheim (Disney) signs Darin Kimble, who only wins fights in Fantasyland.
11. PeeWee Herman must sit where everyone can see him.
12. Brian DePalma films NHL fights with slo-mo, whirling camera.
13. Star players make studio "Eh?" lists.
14. Manon Rheaume does nude, pregnant Vanity Fair cover.
15. Rudy Poeschek finds new work as gargoyle.