Thanks to Iowahawk, for keeping us up to date on the latest developments in France. I highlighted my favorite part, which nearly made me pisser mes pantalons!
"Villepin, who is a man..." LOL!
FRENCH RIOTERS UNIONIZE, GO ON STRIKE
Complaining of unsafe working conditions, lack of vacation time, and illegal 40-hour weeks, the French Union of Disaffected Immigrant Youth Rioters declared a general strike today.
“We are going to riot and burn cars every night until our demands are met,” warned Musab Al-Dura, a spokesman for the newly formed labor union.
Many analysts feared the surprise walkout could paralyze France’s all-important riot industry, but riot management spokesman Khalil Hassan said that he had received permission from French labor officials and the EU to hire temporary Belgian replacement immigrant rioters to fill positions vacated by rioting domestic French immigrant strikers.
U.S. CONGRESS MULLS ACTION
In an emergency late night joint session of Congress, U.S. lawmakers debated the Appropriate Menu Labeling Act, a new bill introduced by Rep. David Dryer (R-CA) aimed at addressing rapidly deteriorating public order in France.
Under AMLA provisions, the Congressional dining room's 'freedom fries' will temporarily revert to their original name of 'French fries.' Once France in overthrown by rioters, the bill will automatically trigger renaming to 'Fatima fries.'
Analysts believe the bill will be fast-tracked for presidential signature, as it has gained widespread bipartisan support.
"Hey man, as long as I get my bridge amendment, I'm cool," said Alaska Senator Ted Stevens.
November 08, 2005 | Permalink | TrackBack (7)
VILLEPIN URGES PROTESTORS: "NOT THE FACE"
PARIS – Amid an 11th straight night of unrest by rioting immigrant youths across the country, French Prime Minister Dominique de Villepin made an urgent appeal to protestors requesting that “pas le visage! Pas le visage!”
Villepin, who is a man, made the emergency request during another fiery night in the Parisian suburbs that saw 1300 cars, dozens of buildings, and hundreds of overpriced desserts go up in flames.
Villepin took control of the Chirac government’s protest response effort Tuesday after Interior Minister Nicolas Sarkozy’s 'get-tough' policy of sending in the Paris Police’s elite windmill-slapping squads proved ineffective against rioters. Villepin promised a less confrontational approach emphasizing dialog, discussion of protestor grievances, and “curling ourselves into safe, fetal balls of mutual cultural understanding.”
Villepin’s diplomatic approach seemed to bear fruit as protestors largely refrained from beating his face, and instead focused their efforts on “les ouegies,” “les wettes-du-Willi” and “les souerlies.”
After the incident Villepin said he planned to build on the overnight progress, and urged a nationwide television audience for ‘cultural reconciliation’ and ‘pas plus le pantsing, sil vous plait.’