Captain Val's eyes widened significantly as he watched the merciless durians rush forward, horrible teeth gnashing, gleaming in garish light, nearly blinding him with fear!
Oh, the anticipation!
Oh, his retinas!
But then, moments before the ghastly fruit descended upon our fruitlessly fretting friend, a glow- faint at first, steadily growing stronger- fizzled over each one of them. Val lowered his quivering hands and turned his gaze on Selt.
"Or! That is what you would have LIKED to have heard, eh, misguided miscreant? Hohohoho! No card you draw can win, for this power is the true power of-" He paused for dramatic effect, "THE HEART OF THE CARDS!"
His crimson eyes flashed, a grin split his face. "Your durians are useless and you are now trapped for I play-!"
"CHANGE OF HEART!"
Suddenly, Selt was enveloped in a cacoon of warmth-
Cue, magical transformation sequence!
He was spinning, spinning, spinning then-!!!
"Ha-! Ha?"
Val blinked. "Oh," He said. "It seems I have used the wrong card..."
How will Selt counter this dasterdly deed and will he be able to resist the sudden urge to go shopping?
Is it really TBC? Stay tuned!
((OOC: The crayon tool, Luke. Use the crayon tool))
-Th3 J3sT3r.
This message has been edited by BobTheDragon on Nov 4, 2007 7:32 PM This message has been edited by JesterCapp on Oct 23, 2007 1:09 AM This message has been edited by JesterCapp on Oct 23, 2007 1:08 AM
Selt's attack was suddenly thrown off by the misused trap card. He quickly found himself unable to move, held down by a myriad of sudden questions.
"WHY DID MY SHIRT JUST BECOME VERY TIGHT WHILE MY PANTS BECAME SUDDENLY LOOSE?"
...
"Oh."
"i c"
Selt considered the meaning of his new form. On one hand, he now had the ability to go many places he could not go before, and see many things he had never seen before, all while being completely accepted by social norms.
On the other hand, he no longer knew how to urinate.
"CHANGE ME BACK YOU LIMEY FRUITBASKET OF A VAMPIRE! D:<<<"
Or wait, perhaps a new means of persuasion was in order? "Change me back, Limey, or I shall be forced to unleash the unstoppable power of Shojo luv-bubbles. "
----
This message has been edited by BobTheDragon on Oct 31, 2007 2:18 PM
And so Matt sat alone on the beach for some indefinite amount of time, coloring away and minding his own business until…
“Do I smell crayons?”
Indeed, the nearest Starbucks coffee cup to him grew eyes and spoke. The cup blinked, waiting patiently for an answer before seeking out the truth on their own. The cup eyed the coloring book in Matt’s hands.
A man suddenly burst forth from the coffee cup, waving his arms in the air excitedly.
“OH MY, OH MY GOD!
A COLORING BOOK OF FUNNESS!
I LOVE TO COLOR!”
He too pulled out a box of crayons and displayed them to Matt proudly. “A box of forty-eight, my dear friend. It’s a masterwork set.
May I join your ranks?
My name: Cucumber Whisky.
You may call me Q!”
Selt was thrown off guard. He thought he would be prepared for any situation, but suddenly there was a new foe! And suddenly it was LARGE! D: D: D:
He/she snarled and cleared his head quickly. Thinking about it with his/her compact pea-sized brain, Selt realized that, in fact, he normally got into fights with things much larger and stronger than he. This was no different. So what if his new opponant was pitch black with a freakish white swirl for an eye? Obviously this was ominous enough to be ignored.
"ARE JOU THREATENING ME MR SWIRLY MCBLOBFACE? I WILL DO WHAT I WANT TO THIS VAMPIRE!"
"YOU KNOW WHAT? JUST FOR THAT
MAGICAL GIRL POWERS ACTIVATE!!!!"
----
This message has been edited by BobTheDragon on Nov 4, 2007 12:25 AM
Val stared, perplexed, at his enemy, not bothering to turn his head at the sudden entrance of his rather tardy crew.
"Ah! First mate Gespatcho! Splendid timing! I'm in a bit of~!"
He became distantly aware of a screeched battle cry, something like 'MAGICAL GIRL POWERS ACTIVATE'or possibly equivalent to 'MARITAL GUN POWDER'S MAGISTRATE!' and for a brief moment, his eyes fluttered shut, blinded by a dazzling flash of pink, bubbles, hearts and a myriad of stars. Very graphic, shiny stars...
Slowly, he chanced raising his eyelids, mortified of what he was about to witness...
"Hmmmm-?"
What...what was this vision? This heavenly visage of divine beauty that left one feeling quite redundant and overtly sappy...?
A stoopid (as opposed to 'stupid') grin split his features and Val enthusiastically-
Matt stared at this bouncy looking man who had somehow sprung out of a discarded coffee cup with a tad bit of confusion.
"First off, does this look like a coloring book to you, bub?" he said, holding up what he had been doing for him to see....apparently Matt thought himself some sort of "artist", even if it was in crayon...there were sketches on the page, not a coloring book.
"But then again, you made a valid presumption I guess. Now what did you want again?"
Before anybody else could make a sound, there was an explosion from someplace offshore. A very...MAGICAL....explosion. And a very pink one.
Matt stood up, moving beside the new fellow to stare out as faint pink hearts and stars from the explosion came to wander around his head. "Damn....that's Magical Girl Powers if I ever saw them before..."
"And I have a hunch who exactly it is that is causing them....oh how much I hate him...." Unfortunately, Matt did not divulge on the details. He just continued to stare at what epic trouble was now brewing on the Sound. Puget Sound, that is.
"You don't stand a ghost of a chance, Jan! I've come back for you and your little dog too!" .... and other such puns involving the undead~
Camaro, though looking a tad decrepit, only smelled slightly evil- not like rigamortis set in. Ghost, zombie, highlander.... whatever he is, he knew how to ensure victory!
"Now I summon...
.....LEVEL 9999 PRINNY!"
Quite a creature, for fun foibles!
"And I cast 'I'm Worth It!"
"Mwahahaha... now that I have the most ridiculous shiny hair my losing is an impossibility!"
"Hit me with your best shot, Fluffy!"
"Oh my... that's quite an impressive hairdo you're sporting," said Jan. The epic prinny loomed over the small, sinking boat as the duelists faced off in moist combat. "Your monster and hair look pretty tough to beat..." Jan drew his card and raised his eyes to meet his opponent's.
"... but now, it's my turn!" A psychotic look crossed Jan's jawline as he rifled through his cards. Picking two and raising them high above his head, Jan smiled. "These I'll put in face down mode, for later. And this," Jan said, holding up a third card, "when you see this card, your fate will be sealed! As your strategy slips through your fingers, try not to... Panic!"
"This is my spell card, Head Swap! Allow me to explain it to you." Jan crossed his arms, smirking and settling in for an unnecessarily long explication. "You see, by placing Head Swap on the field, I have found the perfect counter to your invincible hair strategy! Normally, a hairdo such as that would be unbeatable, and the match would already be decided. Clearly, this is what you were counting on. However, Head Swap allows me to change head equipment with my opponent. That includes ALL head-type attributes..."
"INCLUDING your hair!" As Jan spoke, his trademark golden-afro dematerialized, only to reappear on his opponents cranium. Almost simultaneously, Camaro's ridiculous anime-hair appeared on Jan's head, bishi-sparkles and all.
"I now end my turn. I have countered the first half of your strategy, fish-demon. Now, attack me, and see how I shall counter the second!"
“My dear god, do I spy shojo love bubbles?!” Q had tensed up with sudden excitement. Before, it was simply enthusiasm, but now…
“Do you have any idea what this means?!” He exclaimed, clenching his fists before him. “Come my dear friend! There are females nearby! The hunt is on!”
Matt found himself magically poofed to where...well....this strange character that had sprung from a coffee cup had said there were women. Normally...Matt despised most women...but he decided to take a look around his surroundings nonetheless.
The first thing he saw was...well....a shadow. It reminded him of a Kao-nashi...very Miyazaki indeed.
Losing interest, he looked to see what else was there.
'Egad, HE'S even worse as a girl...if you could call him that!' he thought as he viewed some more of what was abound on this ship, clearly the cuddling couple that included the now-female-a-fied Selt. And then....something else caught his eye.
There was there, something that reminded him of the Geishas of old. Or a delicate, china doll , clear with pink innocence lightly brushed across her face. With fangs...but none the less, it was if the gods had for once smiled upon him in his long search for something worthwhile...
A clever smile crept upon his face. When he saw something he liked...well...by gawd, it would happen. Or else. He found himself moving towards the group. The next thing he halfway knew, he had somehow seperated the two from their cuddle of doom Perhaps it was TEH POWA OF "AI" AND ALL THINGS LOVE.
"Hey, hey...kitten, you don't need to be hanging out with him...her..it...whatever it is. There are much better fish in the sea, dear."
((I <3 and Love Matt. It was done for the LULZ of the fact that Bishie characters...deserve this to happen to them eventually. >E ))
This message has been edited by BobTheDragon on Nov 18, 2007 12:33 AM
Captain Val sensed something wrong was about to happen- something very wrong. In fact, the sudden emergence of two more strangers upon his ship seemed to momentarily snap him to his senses. What in good gravy vinegar's name was going on?
One of the invaders, a large, burly man, approached approached Val and his prey after a staring contest with Gespatcho ended prematurely. What the captain did not expect was for the man to ignore the lovely (?) Selt and instead, shoved her/him away, to take Val's hand in his!
He must have thought Val was a woman. How peculiar! It seemed a common ailment- for some inexplicable reason, many men at first believed him to be female.
He MUST settle matters with the poor soul before it was too late.
Considering that this was the first time he had had prolonged physical contact with anything remotely resembling a human since... roughly his birth, Selt was taking the whole situation in stride.
By which, I of course mean, he was boiling over with unfettered rage directed very strongly towards a single, apparently ambiguously gendered individual.
Perhaps, logically, this made no sense. But really, what does Logic have to do with Love and War?
Either way, the only female on board was rather peeved, and had anyone been standing close enough to hear it, a sudden, brittle sounding snapping noise, echoing quietly from the lady's noggin, was just barely audible.
"I'M NOT DONE WITH YOU YET YOU FREAKISH EFFEMINATE UNDEAD TREE HUGGING PIECE OF DISCARDED WETSUIT!!!!"
"MWAHAHAHA, you fool! Brandishing billowing locks of chestnut is exactly what I planned you'd do! Also, I have your ears!" wiggle wiggle
"And now for the second phase of my plan... I summon BAMBOOBLED CELTIC WARRIOR GIRL! Her charisma is OVER NINE THOUSAND!!"
"Now I know you have trap cards set up for me when I attack with my prinny... But that's why I'm casting THIS SPELL!"
"With Pajama Party in play, all females within a 5 mile radius, are magnetically attracted to the protagonist, and who's more of a protagonist than the man with perfect hair?"
"Now with my generic elf girl- err- BAMBOOBLED CELTIC WARRIOR GIRL deeply attracted to you, physical hilarity will ensue! Let's see you activate any trap cards while suffocating under her fan service jubilee!
And lo and behold, there was more than one female within a five mile radius.
This female strange green-haired female that was summoned onto the battle field-
-had a long string of males attatched to her ankles!
"My fair maiden! Why are you flying away from me, your truest lover in the whole world?" Cucumber clung to Selt around the neck, and they bobbled in the water as the others resurfaced as well. "Fear not, my poppet. I shall protect you from the evil magics that dare attempt to steal you away!"
Meanwhile, Captain Val immediately released his grip upon the queer shirted man's ankles, tumbling through the air toward a very wet and highly inconveniently placed ocean.
He braced himself and prayed...
SPLOOSH!!!
Sodding soaked and soggy- well, at least it wasn't cold- he was not a pleased little fish mongering vampire. With a great gasping breath, he emerged from the water with fangs bared and an awful headache. Oh. People were speaking.... No, not just people, a certain pink tunic wearing man was spouting love nonsense to his...beloved?
Val squinted at his green haired beauty and blinked a few times with veritable confusion. The shojo love bubbles must have blinded him. She was, in fact, very beautiful, but...
She had also been a teenage ruffian that had been stealing HIS fish but a few...moments? Hours? Earlier?
Well...Seemed he had lost his sense of time.
He raised his gaze to the strange people on a tiny, barely floating vessel next to which they floated. Val clicked his tongue. How would he deal with this?
Aha! His ribbon!
Val adjusted the giant red ribbon and super water proof radio transmitter round his neck and grinned. And waited.
It would come.
TBContinuedededededededed
Meanwhile meanwhile... Somewhere somewhat far away...
Selt glared at the last denizen still attached to him. He threw up his arms in disgust, only he didn't (what with them being firmly wrapped around the lovely head-swapped Jan).
"Hold on to me. See if I care. Stupid prick."
"Under one condition though:..."
The green haired girl cracked an impish grin.
"HOLD. ON. TIGHT."
And with that, the gender confused critter (now getting quite used to being nearly constantly immersed in water) easily popped out, and plunged down into the great soup-bowl that is the Seattle coast ocean area.
Mere moments after his brilliant hair-reversal play, Jan's situation had changed muchly for the worse. "Where did my card game go?" he wondered.
After his opponent's unexpected counter-counter, Jan was suddenly underwater. He was, like a piece of gum betwixt shoe and cement, being pulled and stretched along by scary and violent forces over which he had no control. Many questions were raised by this turn of events. Why was Selt female? Who were these other creatures being strung along behind her? Why were they underwater? Why was selt female? Also, why was Selt female?
Selt boobs. why.
The gender change did nothing for Selt's character or mental stability. She was, Jan noted, still a crazy bitch. As they rocketed past jellyfishies and salmon, Jan wondered if he would drown down here, and if so, would the last thing Jan saw before succumbing to unconciousness be Selt's shapely ass?
The multiply shocks to poor little Gespatcho's brain were too much as he lay floating on the waters surface.
Unfortunately the rocking of the waves did not bring calm... just a sort of light headed feeling. It was then Gespatcho realised why his mother didn't want him to become a pirate... the only shadows on the ocean are deep at the bottom.
Suddenly a great pull dragged him down like a giant riptide.
Faster and Faster he descended, so fast that he was quickly gaining on the Horrible female known as Selt and the two doomed men attached to her.
As he passed them he saw his one chance to save himself...
He used all his effort and forced himself into Selt's light blocking, metal pot!
Only time would show the horrors that awaited him within....
