Suzanne T. (Login imdemama) from IP address 66.222.49.156
Dedicated to my wonderful friend, Chris
Life After Children
1.
I wonder if there is a life after children.
From woman child to mother.
From my father’s house to my husband’s,
my young years spent nurturing.
Days spent creating a home, children,
loving everyone but myself.
No time, no money, no considerations
beyond the immediate.
No time for adventure,
No money for all the necessities.
No consideration of what will be
when this moment is over,
No consideration of life after children.
2.
Now my life is composed of waiting,
waiting for grown children to find a life,
so I can finally find mine.
Advising, pushing, anxiously waiting for the time
they decide to walk away.
Frightened of the silence of the walls.
Frightened of the days alone to come, but yet,
I feel the thought of being alone with every breath I take.
From nurturing mother to bitch.
Labeled middle age,
labeled with mid-life crisis, and menopause.
Labeled the bitch for reaching my limit.
No longer able to solve the problems of the world for those I love,
I seethe with the need to solve only my own.
Memories of youth torment me.
The excitement of escape to the new.
My soul able to stretch with
Spontaneity
a daily spice
tasted like a sugar high.
3.
Endings and beginnings. Still unwritten.
But close at hand.
This message has been edited by WondersmithWest from IP address 205.206.129.48 on Oct 30, 2003 9:45 PM
And just so you all know, Suzanne ran this one by me in email before posting it here, because of the word 'bitch.' I told her it was fine, since this little private site is frequented by adults only - and I can relate to this whole life phenomenon!
Very well expressed, Suzanne! Thanks for sharing here.
I reall enjoyed the style ,subject matter and the framework.
I can also relate to many parts. Although I have never
heard the word bitch out loud in my own direction...I
know it's been thought. ( I even call myself that on
rare occasion.)
I can understand, (maybe not fully), a mother trying to deal with such thoughts. Surely she must look back before looking forward.
Watch and listen to a mindmonitor of life before and with children, both of which were filled with diverse emotions and new experiences.
She is now about to embark upon a new voyage of discovery. Be apprehensive, afraid, excited, prepared to embrace or fight off.
It's coming your way, no stopping it - so climb aboard, throw your bags in your cabin and go out to meet fellow passengers. Quite a few in the same boat.......
Beautifully written Suzanne. It sums up the aging process of the Creator's greatest creation- WOMAN. The female is God's crowning work. I have no doubt that you are not growing old, but aging gracefully.
