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Feeling Tired
Watching, as the rain pours down
Bouncing, as it hits the ground
Matching the pounding in my head
I really should have stayed in bed!
I'm just so tired that I can't think
Feel as if I need an alchoholic drink
Then maybe I won't feel the pain
As I put myself down, once again!
It has that old familiar ring
"Come on! Get going!, and DO SOMETHING!
How can you just sit around all day?
There's work to do! You can't just play!"
Why should I feel guilty and ashamed
Even when the reason can't be named?
When I am feeling so under the weather
Unable to even lift a feather!
Why do I feel that I am lazy
If I 'm feeling tired and hazy?
Am I not allowed to be sick or ill?
"Who else is going to pay those bills?"
God help me if this feeling lasts!
After two days it still hasn't passed!
My "inner critic" starts to rant
"Stop saying to me - BUT I CAN'T!"
Oh! Please! Shut up! For Heaven's sake!
I utterly refuse much more to take!!
I'm really doing the very best I can!
That's all that's expected in God's Daily Plan!
Love
Pam
This message has been edited by WondersmithWest from IP address 68.144.74.112 on Feb 22, 2004 9:10 AM
Pam - is this not an illustration of the illness labeled ME? If I've got this wrong, then please forgive me, but your poetry does seem to be from the heart and I am a little concerned about your welfare.
If I am right, then it is a true condition of which I am aware, although thankfully not suffered myself. IT IS REAL. I am not an expert in any way at all but I do have a cousin who suffered from ME and is now recovered, (with treatment). The illness was a trauma for her family.
If I am right, then from what little I know of this condition, you ARE VERY BRAVE, to put it into words and I can only admire you and I am sure that in the long term, this will help you.
If I am wrong, then I apologise once again but maybe the above still applies ......... I hope so ..... you are a dear friend of Alice and that makes you a friend of mine ........ God Bless You ....... and let's see more of that positive, truly inspiring poetry.
Dear Rusty - I haven't heard of this illness called ME. Do you have or know where I can find out more about it?
At the age of 47 I went into a deep clinical depression. Through 2 years of therapy, started the following year, I came to realize that I suffer partially from what's called Dissociation , a mild form of Multiple Personality Disorder (MPD), A specialist on dissociation felt that I more correctly was simply emotionally frozen, at several ages, throughout my childhood.
The consequences of these problems basically left me with the mind of a (several) child(ren) in the body of an adult. It took me three more years of therapy to re-integrate the two youngest ME's and try to deal with the third one - I "split" 4 times from the age of 2 to the adult married me at 21.
I actually have a poem about this discovery and the integration which I would be happy to post.
Thankfully I am now out of clinical depression and only see my therapist once in a while.
Thanks for your concern and I hope this explanation helps